Need Help w.MoH

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

@icanhearyousmile: I honestly think she is being a bit ridiculous. I have a pretty strict diet at home, I don’t eat gluten and I avoid a lot of dairy. I also don’t eat red meat. I have gone to two weddings this summer and felt incredibly guilty writing ‘gluten-free and no red meat’ on my RSVP’s. 

Honestly, from my perspective I am incredibly grateful when someone accomodates. Your MoH should feel the same way. You’re going above and beyond to accomodate her, and she’s not responding to you??? 

Obviously there is more to the story, or she just needs to lighten up. My advice is that you just leave her alone until she responds to you. Asking how they eat at restaurants is a fair question when they eat the way they do…and you ALREADY apologized. 

Balls in her court. 

Post # 4
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would let it blow over. And I would stop questioning about her diet and food choices. That stuff is a bit personal to others, so in the future I would just avoid the topic. 

 

Post # 6
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If she doesn’t want to discuss it with you, fine – then it’s not your fault if there’s nothing she can eat.

I don’t get this. I have a severe dairy allergy and a serious gluten intolerance. I also can’t eat red meat. (All medical issues.) When I attend an event, I either inquire about options (and am grateful for anything – even a plate of veg is fine) or I eat first/bring my own food. Yeesh. It’s one meal – it’s not like they’re going to starve.

You did a nice thing by looking after her needs. Her response to you was pretty rude, but the total avoidance thing since is way over the top. I wouldn’t approach her at this point, actually; it doesn’t seem like she’s in a position to really talk about anything. Let it go, and when she’s calmed down, talk to her – not about her diet, but about the way she (mis)handled the situation.

When you have to or choose to follow a special diet, you don’t have the luxury of getting annoyed when people ask a bunch of questions. Either answer the questions politely (and be grateful people care at all) or bring your own food and be quiet.

Post # 8
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@icanhearyousmile:  If that’s the issue, maybe you should reconsider about this. Your wedding is November, so while it’s close to be making changes, someone who just isn’t talking to you really shouldn’t be MoH. That’s really immature. I thought she was specifically upset about the diet thing, but it sounds like there’s more going on. Since you work in the same office, can you try to face-to-face with her? Catch her in the lunchroom? “I feel like there’s a problem between us, and we really need to have an honest discussion…”

Post # 10
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@icanhearyousmile:  Sorry she’s being so strange. I guess offering to sit down with her might be your best bet. I guess if you send the email and she doesn’t respond, at least you tried. It sounds like you’ve done a lot to be a really flexible bride, so maybe it’s one of those, “it’s not you, it’s me” situations. Hopefully a conversation can clear it up. If she’s still giving you the silent treatment, that’s going to be really awkward for you at your shower, and is going to suck the fun out of your wedding process.

Post # 12
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@icanhearyousmile:  I think from your perspective she is being ridiculous, but it is possible that she’s being honest?  She probably is used to being misunderstood and probably felt like she was inconveniencing you because of how much you tried to ask questions to find something suitable for them to eat.

I would actually just reach out to her and ask her if everything is okay, give her a little “I’m sorry if I upset you, it’s possible that stress made something come out more harshly than I intended.  I really just want to make sure that you and bf are comfortable and have something to eat at our wedding events.  It’s important to have you there and I want you to be happy about it too.  Is everything okay?”  Because it really is possible that she’s just been busy and isn’t intending to give you the cold shoulder this week.  So you may be reading more into it and stressing over nothing.  Hope all goes well!

Post # 13
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@icanhearyousmile:  First, I LOVE your screen name!

 

Secondly, could she have some sort of eating disorder that she’s not willing to discuss with anyone? Her reactions seem extremely strong to what appears to be general inquiries regarding her diet and you trying to accommodate her eating habits.

You are a better friend than I am. After the first apology I wouldnt apologize again and I also think its great you tried to take a step back and examine whether you were being a Bridezilla (honestly, doesnt sound like you are in the least!)

I agree with another poster that said you may need to examine if this person deserves MoH title. She sounds like being there for you is the last place she wants to be. Sorry you’re going thru this and your wedding is so close…

Post # 15
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I may be a bit bitchy in writing this, but oh well!

Her diet, whether she is your MoH or not, should not be something that you need to stress about during your planning.  Unless she eats like that for a medical reason (IBS, Crohn’s, etc), you should not have to make any exceptions for her.

I don’t eat red meat, however when I attend cook-outs or parties, I never let the host know.  I eat before or after the party, or find something I can munch on.  It is my prefernce not to eat something, not theirs.

Post # 16
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I also feel like she is overacting the way she responded to you.  Is she having another issue other than food that is making her snap?

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors