Post # 1
Desperately need advise!
My Boyfriend or Best Friend –technically my husband- and I got married on paper over a year ago for many logistical reasons.
We both have always lived alone, are from different countries and cultures and since we started living together it has been unbearably stressful! I feel like the there was no transition for me, we’re planning the wedding and adjusting to being married at the same time. On top of that my family is very sensitive about and want to keep it low till the wedding day (which has been floating). Our marriage has remained unannounced meaning I can’t really ask any friends for advice and of course we haven’t gone to the pre-wedding counseling which we should have attended by now.
We’re really struggling and we fight all the time and frequently have communication and attitude issues towards each other.
Anyone recommend any nice books for adjusting to marriage? I need something to set my mind into the right place. Basically the ones I should have read before I have come to this point?!
Post # 3
We’re big fans of Gary Chapman. Although he does include biblical passages and other Christian points in his books, they are very, very, very good books that open your eyes up to things you might have missed before…especially when it comes to communication. My husband and I have read almost every single one of his books and even attended one of his conferences before we became engaged. He gives great strategies and real life stories on different problems that everyone faces and great ideas and ways on how to over come them. Good luck!
Post # 4
We seriously don’t know how to communicate (are we stupid or is that normal?). We fight about the smallest things! Will definately look into Gary Chapman!
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
Several of John Gottman’s books are also highly recommended. good luck!
Post # 6
I agree with Gary Chapmen-The Five Love Languages was a great book!
Post # 7
I second the John Gottman recommendation. I think "The Seven Principles of Marriage" is an amazing book.
Post # 8
I love all the books by Dr. Gary Smalley. http://store.dnaofrelationships.com/ “The Engaged Couples Roadmap” is great if you’re ok with spending a little extra money. Also go to http://www.garysmalley.com/ for some great resources.
“Love and Respect” by Dr.Emerson Eggerichs is an amazing book. Many churches actually require it during premarital counseling. The neat thing about it is that, while most couples devotions are focused on the man leading the relationship, this book is focused on both people. It talked about “The Love She Most Desires” and “The Respect He Desperately Needs.” http://www.loveandrespect.com/
“The Love Dare Book” Based off of FIREPROOF the movie is a really fun devotional. It is more intended for married couples, but it can be a good one to build up the anticipation, and learn how to really appreciate each other. http://thelovedarebook.com/
Post # 9
We love reading marriage/relationship books together! (i.e. we both read the same book but separetly) Not only does it give us lots of good info, the authors often put into words things that we’re feeling but don’t really know how to express. It’s so nice to be able to say, “Read this, THAT’S how I feel!” pr “Wow, is that how you feel with I do that?”
Keep in mind that we’re Christians so the books that I’m recommending are from a Christian perspective. Not sure if that’s your cup of tea or not but these books have been very helpful to us!
- Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman, This book really helped us to express to learn how to love & respect each other effectively.
- Sacred Marriage – Gary Thomas, Awesome book in general! We went through this book in our premarital counseling.
- Men are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti – Bill & Pam Farrel, Very cheesy at times but great practical info about gender differences & how they impact a relationship.