- Take The Reins
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I am struggling with my stepson right now. He will be 6 at the end of May. Fiance starts work early (4:30am early), so I deal with SS in the mornings on my own. I find myself getting extremely frustrated with him because I have to nag him CONSTANTLY to get things done. We have a routine that is the same every morning:he gets up, goes potty, washes his hands, gets dressed, brushes his teeth and washes his face. Then we go downstairs for breakfast and gets ready for school.
BUT he is SO SLOW. SO incredibly, painfully slow. He zones out, dawdles, takes forever to any single task. He’d sit on the toilet all day if we didn’t nag him constantly onto the next task(he has actually sat there for more than an hour on the weekend zoned out). He can stand and stare into his underwear drawer for 10 minutes without grabbing a pair. It is the same process after school too, getting him to go to the bathroom, wash his hands, jammies, dinner etc. He goes to bed between 6:30pm and 7pm, so he’s getting a ton of sleep, and he will wake on his own around 7am. And the stupid thing, on weekends, he is up at 6:30, full of life and totally with it.
I am at my wits end, and I end up frustrated and angry, and have yelled at him on more than a few occasions, which I feel like shit for after. I just don’t know how to deal with him to get a fire lit. I wake him up at 7, he won’t be ready by 8.
Is this type of behaviour normal? Are we expecting unreasonable things from a 5 and half year old? Is it unreasonable to expect him to be able to do all those things without parental assistance and coaxing? Any ideas on how we can motivate him to move with more haste, because nothing we are doing seems to help at all.
Appreciate any input or ideas. The newest one we are thinking is using a whiteboard and timer, rewarding him when he “beats” the timer, and taking something away when he doesn’t. I am loathe to reward him when he does get done in time as I don’t want to have to bribe him for every little thing later on, nor do I feel that getting himself ready on time is a rewardable occurence. Doing something major above and beyond his daily routine, then I can see a reward, but at 5.5, rewarding for getting dressed seems silly.