(Closed) Need Insight from Those Who Know! Calling All Military Wives, Brides!

posted 8 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Um I have never heard of this and I live in amilitary town. If training is long, she may go down and find a place to live near the base he is training at. MY ex Bro in law is in the marines. He did NOT come home at all during training. As far as I know it is not true. But I could be wrong.

Post # 4
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i think each ‘chain of command’… basically their bosses… is different. it depends on where he is stationed… if he is deployed he obviously wont get to come home once a month. i did the national guard thing for 6 years, but my cousin is active duty marines and he got leave for 4th of july weekend… just a few days though, and then he might get a few days in a couple months. When he leaves to go out to sea or whatever, he is gone for anywhere from a few days to weeks or months.  like i said it just depends… i think your sister needs to seriously consider how hard it is to be alone for that long… trust me me ex bf was deployed 2 times in 4 years and its not easy.  please let her know that marrying someone just because of the military pay… (which is why alot of people do it so soon) is not worth it. those marriages usually dont work out from what i have seen.

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m calling bullshit. My FI is USAF so I dont know Marines, but there is no way that’s true. I didn’t even get to talk to FI on the phone when he was in BMT. Letters, that’s all. Phone call if you’re lucky.

Being involved with a military man is hard. It sucks, you’re lonely, he’s not always there to talk to, you can’t make long-term plans because you never know when something will come up and he can’t be there, you have to live with the fact that he may die doing his job, that he probably will not be there for birthdays, anniversaries, the births of your children. It’s not fun, it’s not like Army Wives.

BUT, you get the overwhelming pride of knowing that the man you love is doing something meaningful with his life. I cannot even express how proud I am of FI. That still doesn’t mean it easy, or fun. Your sister is in for a rude awakening, I fear. She’s young, she thinks she knows. Honestly, there is nothing you can say that is going to change her mind about it. You need to let her find out for herself.

And if she’s marrying for the money…. it ain’t that damn good.

Post # 6
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

USMC recruiters are notorious for lying (my sister was in the USMC). He will not be coming home once a month unless his home is near the base where he is stationed.

I mean, technically when he wasn’t deployed he could take leave once a month- but that would require purchasing a plane tickets and being granted leave. 

As for your situaiton with your sister- don’t criticize her. It will only push her into the situation and damage your relationship with her and possibly your FBIL. You have to listen to her and support her decision- maybe she does realize what it means. Personally, I don’t think she does. I’m 25 married to a surface warfare office in the navy. We were together 6 years before he joined the navy- I thought for sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I feel like I have adjusted well to our new life, but it is hard sometimes. I live in a new city where I know no one. It’s me and our three cats 8 months of the year.

  Your sister will have a hard time whether she realizes it or not- don’t point it out to her, be supportive so when she realizes it comes to you

 

Post # 7
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@zippylef:My brother is a Marine.  He was able to call his wife everyone weekend they didn’t get into trouble and write letters during OCS.  Even I got a phone call once.

As far as coming home once a month, I guess I’m confused?  Isn’t home the base where he’s stationed?  Or are you talking his hometown?  My fiance could go visit his parents several times a year if he wanted, but doesn’t feel the need.  I suppose he could manage once a month on the weekends but who wants to spend the money and deal with the hassle?  So I don’t think the recruiter is lying.

Really, the whole thing is hard.  I’m a military brat, plus my brother, so I was certain I knew what I was getting into.  But it’s different as a spouse than a child, and certainly not like Army Wives.  They’re gone a lot.  Wives can be very high-school-ish and not supportive.  People can make snide comments about what he does.  Thankfully my fiance and I don’t have to worry about money, but as a junior enlisted Marine, your sister’s boyfriend will – I just read an article on how many are on food stamps.  But if she really loves him, none of that matters.  I know I wouldn’t give my guy up for anyone.

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