(Closed) Need MOG Damage Control Help!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
46152 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just ignore it. Your FI has already addressed the issue.

Post # 4
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

She probably will, but she’ll get over it (or she won’t). It’s too late now, so maybe your FI can have a word with her about it?

I got some feedback from the SMOG too, since there were 3 sets of parents and we had only our names on them. No one contributed anything, but they thought since they were doing the RD, they would have their names on the invitations too. Sorry. RD is a seperate event in my book.

Post # 6
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, I’m so sorry about all that.  I can’t believe that would talk that way in such a public forum.  We went the traditional route as well and had the wedding invites from my parents and the Rehearsal Dinner invites stating his parents were inviting, since that’s how people paid.

Hopefully she’ll get over it! 

Post # 7
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So the image is blocked on my work computer so maybe I’m not 100% sure what’s going on but honestly it seems like you did all the right things. If you sent a mockup and she didnt provide feedback, then whose fault is that? And I am sure your FI was involved in the design process and at least saw teh invites a few times before they went to press, he could have stepped in as well so it’s not just you she should be mad at.

If she is the type of person to trash talk adn hold grudges I am sure those who know her know she’s like that and take the things she says with a grain of salt. I would just be honest with her, ask her to refrain from talking about your parnets b/c they had nothing to do iwth it, and tell her the nxt time this type of thing comes up you would appreciate if she could you know, actually look at the mockup.

Also if your rents are paying 90% why should her name be on there anyway lol

Post # 8
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh I would NOT leave this one alone.  I would seriously give her a call and give her a piece of my mind.  It is one thing to have a problem or be upset.  It is QUITE another to bad mouth your parents where any one can see it.  I would demand an apology.  You have followed the traditional outline for a wedding invitation, and you asked for her feedback and didn’t get it.  You have done NOTHING wrong.

Post # 10
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ahaha she is so busted!  I feel like older people don’t understand how facebook works, lol.

I’d call her to clear it up as well.  If she wants to hold a grudge forever, that’s her problem.  You did what was right, IMO!

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Moose1209: agreed. I can’t stand IL’s who feel like they can treat their DIL’s and family like shit, but then act like they are all prim and proper. But, I would think that it would be better received coming from your FI instead of you. I would love to do it myself if I were you, but I just think that it won’t cause as much drama coming from him

Post # 12
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

So, while I think what she did on FB was appalling, I sort of think what you did was too. When we mocked up our invites, they looked like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

My Name

to 

His Name

Son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s Parents

That way, you’re not obviously snubbing his parents. When I get an invitation from only the bride’s parents, I take it as a huge snub towards the groom’s parents. Did my husband’s parents give us any money towards our wedding? No…but that doesn’t mean that they still don’t have every right to be on the invite…especially if you all get along well. My parents did contribute a good amount towards our wedding which was why their names were first. Sorry…I think this was a mistake on your part and she has a right to be upset. Again…not the best way to show that you’re upset, but my feelings would be hurt as well if I were her.

Post # 13
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, that’s ridiculous. She needs to get over herself (and figure out how to use FB…it’s quite obvious when you’re talking shit on the wide open internet). I’d let your FI handle it though, she sounds like a big ol’ bunch of fun. 

Post # 14
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@2PeasinaPod:  Disagree.    It’s most certainly not “appalling” to not include the groom’s parents names on the invitation.  It’s the traditional wording of a wedding invitation.  My parents paid for (and therefore hosted) my entire wedding.  They deserve to be listed on the invitations.  My inlaws paid for and hosted the RD so their names were on that invitation.  Everyone was perfectly happy with that arrangement.

Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Maybe you could explain, or better yet, have FI explain to his mother the thinking behind it.  Each parent gets and event with their names attached to it.  She may think better of the whole situation.

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