Post # 1
Ladies who have been divorced, how long did it take you to move on and not be resentful? My marriage ended one month after we were married and I’m so embarrassed and hurt but my ex is such a horrible person. Only my mom and the few friends I have know I filed for divorce and what happened.
The short story is, my ex did something incredibly horrible to me and then lied about everything. Then he wrote about it on fb to embarass me. I told him to get out of my house bc I could not deal with what he did that day. He left and never came back. Never called, never got his things, didn’t want to talk about anything and work things out (even though he’s was the person that did some horrible things) . After we got married he stole money from me twice, and the first time was the day after we got married. We got home and there was no happy after glow. I found out he had lied to me about how much money he made bc he didn’t want to help out with bills. He was taking home as much as me so we could have had a great life but instead I was so stressed bc everything financial was piled on me. I also found out that he had been sued for $13,000 and his wages were being garnished…yet he never told me. I’m pretty sure there was cheating going on as well..especially since he up and left and didn’t care to ever talk to me again. I spoke with his ex and he did all the same things to her. My life was like a soap opera. I can’t believe this happened to me. I got a pre-nup bc I have a large sum of money, investments, and assets. He had nothing and what he did I found he lied about. I seriously think his mom thought that if he married me they would some how take half and then run awaywith his baby mama and be a family with my money. I always had a feeling they had a thing and now his ex pretty much confirmed it (different girl than baby mama) Why waste three years of my life then? He never even let me meet his child! I’m so stupid. So many red flags.
Him being out of my life is a good thing. I just can’t get over the fact that someone who hated me so much wasted three years of my life and married me. I gave him so many outs but he said he wanted to get married. I shouldn’t care but it hurts. I feel like such a loser. I feel like I’ll never find anyone and I feel like if I ever do I’ll be old. I’m already thirty. I didn’t imagine my life this way. I didn’t imagine being betrayed by the person I loved. And I feel so stupid for letting it happen. I have been good this past week but now that I’m on my period, I’m emotional.
Who else has had to start over? When does it get better?
Post # 2
I’m so sorry. My ex husband walked out on me and our 3 year old daughter a couple weeks before Christmas after 8 years of marriage. It was a couple months before my 30th birthday. I was a wreck for a while. But I met my DH a year after the ex left and today is actually our 4 year wedding anniversary. He loves my older daughter and we now have another daughter together. Honestly, I don’t know if you ever “get over” it, but so many wonderful things have come into my life I can’t dwell on it anymore.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
Oh Jazzy, so sorry you are feeling down. It totally sucks. I remember all your posts about him and how he wouldn’t even call you his gf, fi or wife, how he wouldn’t even get his wedding clothes, etc. No one deserves that. Yes there were a lot of signs but that is always mostly in retrospect. We always try to believe the best in people first.
I hope that you are seeking counseling to work through this and maybe get some insight into why we allow ourselves to dismiss flags when we are “in it” and to also deal with such a betrayal. Big hugs to you.
I think with counseling and only time can heal and make it better. Just take it day by day. It’s all you can do. You deserve better than that.
Post # 4
My first marriage lasted 7 years. The divorce caught me by surprise (to say the least), so the first few months were spent in shock.
I would say it took me 2 years to feel like “me” again and be hopeful about the future.
I got divorced 4 years ago, and I remarried this past summer. I’m also now pregnant with our first (I did not have children with my ex). So…there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Give yourself time to heal, and be be hopeful that your future is bright, because it is! Promise!
Post # 5
I am so sorry! I don’t have any advice but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone and the hive is here for you.
With all the strength of these keys I am banging on this keyboard, I send you cyber hugs!!!!
Post # 6
Sorry to hear this girl. Stay strong and know there is a better life our there for you. I am sorry that it took marrying him and divorce to find out how bad of a person her is. I know love blinds obvious signs… but remember you deserve happiness. Good for you for filing and not getting lost in his lies.
Do you mind me asking how long you two were together before splitting?
Post # 7
JazzyGirl85: Of course there’s life after divorce. You should be GLAD to be rid of him, he sounds AWFUL! Did you get a good lawyer to protect your assets? I thought you had a BBQ a month after you got married?? Anyway, the thing I learned about being married to a jerk is to pay attention to red flags the next time around. And you will, too! It’s a tough lesson to learn it this way, but at least we learned it, right?? I didn’t pay attention and I was married 8 years. 8 long years. Now I have a really sweet, thoughtful, wonderful husband!
Post # 8
Was the ‘really horrible thing’ refusing to bail you out when you ended up in jail for a DUI?
Post # 9
MrsTtoB: yes, I have been going to counseling. It’s okay. We do get a good laugh about some of the dumb shit the ex did. Lol. I can at least laugh about it most the time since its so ridiculous!
Nikkimcq: we were together three years married for one month. So my dumbass should have known better but he hid so much
RedHeadKel: no, we never had a bbq. I wanted to but we were already broken up by then. My aunt invited us over for fourth of July and it was so embarrassing the way he treated me in front of family. wouldn’t spend a single min with me and wouldn’t even eat dinner at the same table as me. He sat by himself while I at with my cousin. That’s not how newlyweds act. yeah, Everyone is saying its good I got out now instead of years down the road. You give me hope
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
JazzyGirl85: I’m glad.
I know it took me a good 2 years or more before I felt more myself, another year to start dating again after my divorce. We were together for 15 years though. It is hard. There are up days and down days, but you clearly have to know that it was not your fault he deceived you so maliciously.
Just focus on you, eat healthy, get a lot of rest. Do nice things for yourself. Keep busy. Take a fun class to go to each week. It will get easier each day.
Post # 11
Baal: If I recall correctly it was.
JazzyGirl85: Your ex sounds like a real douche but, the real horrible thing is that you drove drunk and seem to think that you shouldn’t have had to spend the night in jail.
Post # 12
KC-2722: never said that..I had two beers, made a mistake but don’t know how that would have anything to do with anything. You put words in my mouth that were never said. Husbands don’t go out and fuck other ppl while their wife made a mistake and then lied abut it and accused me of cheating while he knew exactly where I was. I did something stupid and I’m dealing with it. But it has absolutely nothing to do with the horrible way my ex treated me. it was just the icing on the cake. Putting his dick in someone else while I was in jail. My ex had a dui a month before he met me and I was always there for him. This was he cherry on top of everything.
Post # 13
I wasn;t divorced but my mom was. I was the child in the relationship. She was with him for 16 years, and he was horribley abusive to me and my mom and she up and left. She is now married to a GREAT guy :)<br />She was heartbroken for a while, even with all that went on. It gets better. Slowly, but it will. Surround yourself with good friends and good TV! 🙂 Hug!!
Post # 14
JazzyGirl85: I am sorry you are going through this but I am confused by your posts and trying to get the story straight. In your OP you said you think he was probably cheating but in your post to KC-2722: you write that you know he went out and ” put his dick in someone else while I was in jail”. I guess I am confused how in a matter of posts it went from suspicion to confirmation. Personally I never think it is wise to splash this sort of dirty laundry on the internet especially if there is a chance he might lawyer up and use your allegations against you.
Either way he sounds like a knob and you are better off without him.
Post # 15
JazzyGirl85: DUIs aren’t mistakes. They’re stupidity. If you plan on having any drinks, don’t drive. Its hardly a difficult concept to comprehend.
No one said you breaking the law had anything to do with what he did. He’s clearly a douche. Its just ridiculous to play the victim saying that the ‘something’ he did that was horrible to you was leave you in jail. I would expect to be left in jail if I ever did something so idiotic.
What he did while you sat in jail was wrong, but him not bailing you out was not.