need my spirits lifted after divorce

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
6753 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry. My ex husband walked out on me and our 3 year old daughter a couple weeks before Christmas after 8 years of marriage. It was a couple months before my 30th birthday.  I was a wreck for a while. But I met my DH a year after the ex left and today is actually our 4 year wedding anniversary. He loves my older daughter and we now have another daughter together. Honestly, I don’t know if you ever “get over” it, but so many wonderful things have come into my life I can’t dwell on it anymore.

Post # 3
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Oh Jazzy, so sorry you are feeling down. It totally sucks. I remember all your posts about him and how he wouldn’t even call you his gf, fi or wife, how he wouldn’t even get his wedding clothes, etc. No one deserves that. Yes there were a lot of signs but that is always mostly in retrospect. We always try to believe the best in people first. 

I hope that you are seeking counseling to work through this and maybe get some insight into why we allow ourselves to dismiss flags when we are “in it” and to also deal with such a betrayal. Big hugs to you. 

I think with counseling and only time can heal and make it better. Just take it day by day. It’s all you can do. You deserve better than that. 

Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My first marriage lasted 7 years. The divorce caught me by surprise (to say the least), so the first few months were spent in shock.

I would say it took me 2 years to feel like “me” again and be hopeful about the future.

I got divorced 4 years ago, and I remarried this past summer. I’m also now pregnant with our first (I did not have children with my ex). So…there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Give yourself time to heal, and be be hopeful that your future is bright, because it is! Promise!

Post # 5
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

I am so sorry!  I don’t have any advice but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone and the hive is here for you.  

With all the strength of these keys I am banging on this keyboard, I send you cyber hugs!!!!

Post # 6
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Sorry to hear this girl. Stay strong and know there is a better life our there for you. I am sorry that it took marrying him and divorce to find out how bad of a person her is. I know love blinds obvious signs… but remember you deserve happiness. Good for you for filing and not getting lost in his lies.

Do you mind me asking how long you two were together before splitting?

Post # 7
Member
4831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

JazzyGirl85:  Of course there’s life after divorce. You should be GLAD to be rid of him, he sounds AWFUL! Did you get a good lawyer to protect your assets? I thought you had a BBQ a month after you got married?? Anyway, the thing I learned about being married to a jerk is to pay attention to red flags the next time around. And you will, too! It’s a tough lesson to learn it this way, but at least we learned it, right?? I didn’t pay attention and I was married 8 years. 8 long years. Now I have a really sweet, thoughtful, wonderful husband!

Post # 8
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Was the ‘really horrible thing’ refusing to bail you out when you ended up in jail for a DUI?

Post # 10
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

JazzyGirl85:  I’m glad. 

I know it took me a good 2 years or more before I felt more myself, another year to start dating again after my divorce. We were together for 15 years though. It is hard. There are up days and down days, but you clearly have to know that it was not your fault he deceived you so maliciously. 

Just focus on you, eat healthy, get a lot of rest. Do nice things for yourself. Keep busy. Take a fun class to go to each week. It will get easier each day. 

Post # 11
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Baal:  If I recall correctly it was.

JazzyGirl85:  Your ex sounds like a real douche but, the real horrible thing is that you drove drunk and seem to think that you shouldn’t have had to spend the night in jail.

Post # 13
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I wasn;t divorced but my mom was. I was the child in the relationship. She was with him for 16 years, and he was horribley abusive to me and my mom and she up and left. She is now married to a GREAT guy :)<br />She was heartbroken for a while, even with all that went on. It gets better. Slowly, but it will. Surround yourself with good friends and good TV! 🙂 Hug!!

Post # 14
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

JazzyGirl85:  I am sorry you are going through this but I am confused by your posts and trying to get the story straight. In your OP you said you think he was probably cheating but in your post to KC-2722:  you write that you know he went out and ” put his dick in someone else while I was in jail”. I guess I am confused how in a matter of posts it went from suspicion to confirmation. Personally I never think it is wise to splash this sort of dirty laundry on the internet especially if there is a chance he might lawyer up and use your allegations against you.

Either way he sounds like a knob and you are better off without him.

Post # 15
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

JazzyGirl85:  DUIs aren’t mistakes. They’re stupidity. If you plan on having any drinks, don’t drive. Its hardly a difficult concept to comprehend. 

No one said you breaking the law had anything to do with what he did. He’s clearly a douche. Its just  ridiculous to play the victim saying that the ‘something’ he did that was horrible to you was leave you in jail. I would expect to be left in jail if I ever did something so idiotic.

What he did while you sat in jail was wrong, but him not bailing you out was not. 

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