- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I am MOH for my friend’s wedding in 2 weeks. She is getting married on the east coast, but lives many hours away (12 hours on a plane). I visited her and her FI once when they first moved, and after she got engaged, visited again to help her pick out some wedding stuff, like the bridesmaids dresses and her wedding dress. She is the first in our group to get married, so I was excited to do so. We got the bridesmaids dresses, which they wanted to pay for, but I knew they were on a tight budget, so I insisted on buying my dress, so they have more for their wedding. They wanted a specific shirt for their groomsman, but weren’t happy with anything they found, so fine, while I was roaming around with my BF, I looked and found their groomsman shirts.
Also while I was there, we were shopping and wound up in a gallery for a local artist her and her FI like. They were browsing and I was showing my BF around, and I overheard them talking about a series of gallery wraps that they really liked. I made a mental note of the names of the pieces and thought it might be a nice wedding gift for me. my BF and a couple of our friends to chip in to get.
When I got home, I emailed my friends and asked them if they would want to go in on me with this gift. They agreed and I contacted the gallery and bought them. The three paintings were the last they had to sell. I thought it was an amazing gift, not only was it “grown-up art”, it was done by a local artist and when they moved away, the paintings would be a great reminder of their years of where they lived.
My friend and her FI didnt register for anything, since it would be difficult for them to bring gifts back to their current residence and back again when they move.
So fine. gift taken care of.
In the meantime, she starts really planning her wedding. Due to the time difference, we talk about it every few months. Like a good MOH, I ask if she needs me to do anything. She tells me that it would help them out if I could contact some DJs and get some prices. Fine-done. I ask her about wedding stuff and how everything is going.. oh well we are getting these favors, but they are kinda expensive. I volunteer to pick them up here, since they are about 20 cents cheaper. I ask what kind of shoes she wants us to wear. She wants silver flip flops, so I told her I will take a look. I found some, and even bought a bunch of sizes just to be sure all the bridesmaids will have the same ones in case they don’t get to the store in time to get them. I mean the list goes on and on. I try to help her because planning a wedding that is super far away, while you are busy working 3 jobs is not easy and as her friend and MOH, I don’t want her to be a stressed out mess.
She flew back in for the wedding on Saturday, andetxted a couple of times saying shes going to call. I finally call her today and I she answers. I ask her if she needs a couple of things and she says no. Then I ask her if the day before the wedding, she and her FI can take 5 minutes and open the gifts that my friends and I bought her, because we really want be there when they open it since it is a gift that is special and thoughtful. What was the answer I got? “We aren’t making any promises to see anyone, everyone wants to see us” WHAT!?! I understand everyone wants to see you because you are here, but has anyone gone out of the way to see you where you live? Have they run around getting things to make your wedding the wedding you want?
I am beyond upset. I feel like I gave so much to this girl to make her wedding planning easier, and my friends that I split the gifts with did too, especially with helping plan the bachelorette party, even though they weren’t asked to be in the wedding party.
I took a day off of work to be there 2 days early for her wedding, even though I just started a new job, and things there have been beyond stressful, and am paying for a hotel room for that extra night even though I have debt that I can pay off…
Overall, I will have spent over $1500 on HER wedding, and she can’t just say, I will give you 5 minutes so you can give me a gift. Its not like I am asking her to do something that will benefit me, or help me out. We are giving her and her FI a gift, something for them
My mom flipped out when I called her when I was upset, saying she hopes that I would have to deal with that the day before she gets married… I was like what, deal with someone wanting to give me a present, after they already have given me their time and energy to help me?
Am I being unreasonable for asking for 5 minutes of their time?