Post # 1
so i REALLY like the idea of a wine box ceremony. for lots of reasons. i love that we are writing love letters. i love that we get to open it in 5, 10, 20 years, whatever we decide. i love that there will be other little mementos of our relationship (kind of like a time capsule, which i love). and i love wine. in fact it was my wonderful FI who introduced me to wine – i used to not like it so much. so we have many nice memories over a glass of wine. we were drinking wine on a secluded beach when we got engaged! so i just think the wine box ceremony is perfect. and FI is totally for it.
the problem is, my father is muslim. which means alcohol is against his religion. he tried to raise my sister and i as muslim, but it just didn’t work. i am completely non-religious personally (i guess you can call me agnostic, same with FI). that’s why we want a completely non-religious ceremony and are happy to get married on a beach.
question is, is it totally rude and selfish of me to do a WINE box ceremony when my dad will be there witnessing our marriage? like is it disrespectful?? he is the kind of dad that likes to be in denial. he looks the other way if he sees with me a glass of wine (and for years i didn’t even have the guts to drink in front of him). so chances are he won’t say anything. i guess i just want some unbiased opinions on this.
by the way, in case anyone feels it matters, i will be walking down the aisle alone, not having my dad “give me away”. well actually, i will walk halfway by myself, then have FI meet and we walk the rest of the way.
Post # 4
So here are my thoughts! =)
My dad is a recovering alcoholic, 5 years we are so proud! BUT this is for us, and this is a symbol of our love and of our future! Its a time capsule, you could really put ANYTHING in there if you wanted! I felt the same way, even in the middle of excitedly telling my dad all about this little ceremony! It hit me! I felt like an ass and bummed all at once! It sucked! I say TALK ABOUT IT! Ask him how he would feel about being apart of it? He might surprise ya! (Or at least im hoping for ya!)
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get to do it! Or maybe a revised edition!
Post # 5
Is your dad paying for 100% of your wedding? This is the only reason to not do it. It sounds like you do not have the same religious views as your father and you are not planning a “traditional” wedding ceremony; therefore, you are entitled to have the type of ceremony you want. If you dad is offended it is his own issue.
Post # 6
@MzMarzipan: we are paying for everything ourselves
@CupCakeMeg: talking to my dad is tricky. he prefers to stay in his bubble and we generally don’t talk about things.
Post # 7
If your fathers opinion matters to you, then ask him. But really as it is, you already seem to be excluding him from some of the “norm” father wedding related things, so I’m guessing that it doesn’t?
Post # 8
@Belle2Be: well i have other reasons for walking down the aisle alone that aren’t religious. but i guess i am worried because i don’t want it to be too awkward or blatantly disrespectful.
i think i am going to do it for sure. i just wanted some objective opinions. like if everyone on here was telling me i was horrendous for even thinking it, i might reconsider 🙂
Post # 9
@dynamic_duo: Ah. Yeah, I don’t think its a horrendous thing, I think its really just about you and your dynamic with your father.
Post # 10
@dynamic_duo: It’s not for your dad. It’s for you. If you are worried about what your dad will think, then do the ceremony in private. We are having a wine box ceremony also. I already have the box and glasses to go. Just have to find the right bottle of wine and get those letters written!