(Closed) need outside opinions please

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It does sound weird and a bit cramped! It’s not going to be comfortable with having so many people in the beach house and I am sure you will need ample room for the wedding stuff. How about having your parents (daughter, of course) and FI’s paents stay at the beach house with you both and let everyone else either stay at the other house and the remaining getting hotel rooms? You can offer to do a block which will offer a lower rate. It might entice FI to suggest it to his family even if they can afford it.

Post # 4
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I say don’t allow the house to be overcrowded with people sleeping on the floor! With a bunch of kids, I’m sure clean up at the house in time for the reception will be slow going. And it’s a bummer that none of your family gets to stay there. I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s weird though that you and your FI stay somewhere else on your wedding night. That’s what we’re doing for my wedding. We rented a house where the reception will be and 90% of both immediate families are staying there. We are staying at a separate house so we can get away when we want to. The next day we’ll come back to the house for breakfast ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is a disaster waiting to happen. You don’t need to be responsible for where everyone sleeps and allocating rooms on a first come first served basis is a TERRIBLE idea. What about organizing a second house nearby where his family can stay and do their own room allocation? This will still be very cost effective and give them the chance to stay together while giving you all some space. Particuarly since the wedding is at your rental you don’t want everyone crashing there. Even for a beach house with extra beds, 30 people in 5 bed rooms is too many. I’m sure the house owner would not approve and the septic tank probably can’t handle that many people either. use these facts to reason with your FI. I like the PP’s idea that you reserve a bedroom for each of your paretns and your daughter. I would consider using the last bedroom as a staging area as I imagine you will have lots of wedding things and the less people you have to worry about the better. Maybe you could invite the whole family to join you back at your rental for breakfast on the beach the next day but make sure they sleep some where else.

Post # 6
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This just doesn’t make sense. Thirty people for a five bedroom house. Not enough bathrooms or space it won’t work. They need to find other places.

Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The logistics of doing a reception in a house that’s been ransacked by that many people would be a nightmare. Encourage him to move them elsewhere or move the reception. That just doesn’t sound doable!

Post # 8
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@cupcakeFL:  We almost did the same thing you’re describing.  But I told my FI that no way did I want anyone else staying with us at our beach house, either before the wedding, during it, or after.  Even though it sleeps 12 – it’s our wedding and wedding night, people! 

So, in the end we opted to have our wedding locally, in a garden that is convenient for his entire family, and afterwards we’re heading to our honeymoon beach house for a week – alone!  ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, to answer your question – you need to speak up about this – it’s your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yikes sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I’d plan ahead and let everyone stay in the house and you guys get your own place!  I think it will be worth the extra $ in the end!

Post # 10
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

This isn’t a college spring break trip to Cancun, this is your wedding. 30 people in a 5-bedroom? NO way- considering that it’s probably designed for 12 people max to stay there. Sounds like you need to rent two more houses!

Post # 12
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@cupcakeFL:  Could you and he rent two beach houses total? One for you two, and one for them?  Or ask that his family rent a separate house?

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Definately say something. 

Post # 15
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Southern folk got their own way, probably just really laid back people, but if you aren’t happy don’t be afraid to speak your mind, if they’re fine sleeping on the floor, they’ll be fine sleeping somewhere else too.

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