Need some advice Bees!! Don't know what to do!!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

If you can’t afford it, don’t pay for them to go. You are already paying one BM’s way, and they already mentioned they don’t want you paying theirs. I wouldn’t push them since they are having personal struggles right now. It sucks that your friend won’t be able to make it, but you will have a wonderful time anyway.

Post # 3
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know that is important to you for them to both be there, but I really don’t think you should have to pay for their flights. But since you already said you would pay for one, then you obviously should follow through. But it is not your job to pay for you the other BM, even though you want her to be there. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

twinter91:  It is so incredibly kind and generous for you to be paying for your 1 BM, in the tight position she is in with her new journey away from her ex, and with her child, and for offering to pay for the 2nd BM/GM!  I think it shows what a great friend you are trying to be.  

Sadly, if you truly cannot afford it, then you cannot afford it.  And, if it helps, maybe this perspective might make you feel better about the whole thing…is it your 2nd BM’s best interest to travel/be a part of your wedding day knowing she just tried committing suicide, and/or had a nervous breakdown?!  And, if they cannot afford to travel for the wedding, is it in their best interest for him to take any time off of work right now?!  My point:  Not paying their way may be better for them right now.  Understanding why they cannot be there is what makes you an even more incredible friend!!

Post # 6
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

 

twinter91:  Thats really generous and sweet of you to offer, but like OUgal0004:  said, they probably cant afford for him to take any time off work, and they would likely feel horrible if you paid for them. it really speaks to how great of a friend you are, and I’d probably want to do the same, but sometimes circumstances just cant be un-done, and like you said, you can celebrate with them after. Sorry they cant make it though, thats a real bummer. I hope your friend is feeling better soon and they can get back on their feet a bit!

Post # 7
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Do what you feel you need too. You can make more money tomorrow!  If some how you two could figure out how to afford it or make it work, why not!! 

Post # 8
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

twinter91:  You are an amazing bride for offering and I understand what you mean but no matter how much you want people at your wedding, you have to realize that it is not everyone that can come. Even if you have the means to pay for them, I think it is amazing of them not to expect the same treatment. There are other ways to incorporate them into the wedding. Have them send a video message that can be played at the reception. Or have a dinner with them when you get back. Either way, you don’t have to feel so crappy about it. 

Post # 10
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

twinter91:  You are welcome. I hope this resolves the issue altogether. 

Post # 11
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

twinter91:  You can offer it, but don’t push it. Just let them know the offer stands.

If she just tried to commit suicide and he lost hos job – i dont think they will be in a very celebratory mood. Perhaps they have some personal issues they should deal with without all the hub bub of a wedding. 

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