Need Some Advice Bees…Complicated Guest Situation

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Life is too short for this kind of crap.  Let both couples come.  They need to move past this and act like adults. 

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@anonymous2121:  Oh good God. I can’t see that this has anything to do with you. If you like the couples invite both of them, and let them be adults and sort it out. Or not. The Best Man and his Wife can snub them at their own wedding.

Post # 6
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yeah, I agree. Everyone here are grownups (despite not acting like it) – they can sort this out themselves. I’m sure you’ll be too happy / busy at your wedding to care about petty drama that has nothing to do with you. Hopefully this is a good lesson to stay out of other people’s immature drama…

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

@anonymous2121:  Yes, you have hit the nail on the head with your last sentence.

Post # 9
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@anonymous2121:  yeah I hear ya – I hate people who can’t live without thriving on some sort of drama or another. It’s like “enough already, shut up about it!!!”

If the wife reuses to come to your wedding because of stupid drama, that sure says a lot about the kind of friend she is…

Post # 11
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@anonymous2121:  Invite both couples and let them figure it out.  If they’re all adults they should be able to behave and/or avoid each other for your wedding day.  I would just make sure not to seat them near each other to make it easier.  If you invite one couple and not the other you will be seen as taking sides and potentially damage the relationship you have with the uninvited couple.  Be Switzerland here.

Post # 12
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@anonymous2121:  I would sit both couples down, explain that they can avoid each other on the day of and they don’t have to talk to each other but they NEED to be adults about the situation and NEED to realize you are friends to both couples. They need to understand it is YOUR wedding and not theirs and you are free to invite whom ever you want to because the original situation had NOTHING to do with you and as much as you can sympathize with the Wife who tried to hold a bridal shower for someones fiance, she needs to realize that the situation is in the past and that you want to move forward with your life. I would sit both couples down and say “I’m iniviting you guys and the other couple, if you can’t be civil for my wedding than please do not come. We want you there to support us on our day but we want to enjoy the day.” 

Hopefully they both can get over themselves for one night so that you can enjoy your wedding!

Post # 13
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you consider them friends then yes, you should invite them. T

he Best Man and his wife will have to get over it. If they say anything just say “I feel bad about what happened between you but it has nothing to do with us.” You and your FI should not feel bullied into uninviting the other couple. 

Post # 14
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Your best man and his wife sound like brats.

Trying to persuade people not to attend someone’s wedding because they’ve had an argument? Childish.

They either grow up and behave themselves at your wedding or they don’t come. Simple as that.

I can understand the best man’s wife feeling hurt but to take it to these lengths is ridiculous

Edited for shocking typos

Post # 15
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anonymous2121:  if the Best ma ln and his wife try to sabatoge your wedding just because you won’t play into their childish drama then guess what…they should be uninvited and are truly not your friends. Jeesh!

Post # 16
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@anonymous2121:  you are inviting both couples becasuse you want them there. let them decide for themselves if they want to come or not. hopefully they will be adult enough to put their differences aside or one day or just stay on opposite side of the room.

i had a hard time following your whole story but it sounds like Fiance was being a good friend for Wife by throwing her a shower when none of the other BMs wanted to get involved.  it’s crazy that’s Wife’s mother got so involved in the shower planning that it got out of hand and now they are no longer friends.

 

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