Post # 1
Hi Bees! So this is my first post here and im in dyer need of some advise!
long story short, I have a girlfriend ( lets call her Sarah) who we have been friends for about 10 plus years. There are times that we are more close than others, not becuase of disagreements, but life just gets in the way. We both have children, and we just get busy! So shortly after I got engaged I asked my best girls to be my bridesmaids… I knew who they would be for a while now.
Here is the tricky part… since I got engaged my friend Sarah has been SO amazing and more than helpful! She has been to bridal shows with me, ( by inviting me and putting it together for me) going to look at dresses with me on more than one occasion, and has been more than helpful… Im begining to feel guilty! I dont regret the people I have asked to be my bridesmaid… however Im really wanting Sarah to be a part of my day. i know the easy fix would be ” oh well just ask her to be a bridesmaid”… we already have 12 people in the wedding party… im not wating a HUGE wedding party…
So my question… what other responsibility could I give her where she would feel just as included?? I want her to be there with me on the wedding day and hanging out. I want her to be at the rehersal… I just need a way to ask her without making it seem as though ” you arent important enough to be a bridesmaid”— HELP!!! PLEASE!
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@ashb10: If she is that important to you, what is one more person in the wedding party really going to hurt? Honestly, if I was that close to someone and I was given a responsibility other than a Bridesmaid, I’d still be a tad miffed. But that could be just me. Oh, and please don’t make her an “Honorary Bridesmaid”… Talk about a smack in the face!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Make her a bridesmaid….and if you don’t do that let her enjoy your wedding as a guests without giving her some job to do.
Post # 5
@ashb10: Honestly, adding one more bridesmaid won’t hurt at this point if you have a total of 12 people in the wedding party.
However, you could make her a person attendent (helps you with your dress, shoes, fluffs your dress out blah blah blah), she could also decorate and do a reading.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Don’t make her a personal attendant. If anything…a reading. All other “honors” will make her do the most epic eye-roll ever.
Post # 7
I’ve gathered that this isn’t a ‘thing’ everywhere, but it is common here to have ‘personal attendants’. I had 2 girls as pa’s for my wedding.. they are there to help out during the day, my girls pinned corsages and picked up flowers for me, mostly they are just part of the day with you, they were in pictures, sat at a head table, were mentioned on the programs. Maybe a possibility unless this is totally unheard of where you are?
Post # 8
I don’t think being a personal attendant is a great way to include someone. They are common in my circle, but that job kind of suck. I would ask her to be a BM, you already have 12 what is one more.
Post # 9
honestly, I would be touched if asked to do anything for a friends weddings. I have 5 honorary bridesmaids. They will mostly just be regular wedding guests mentioned on the program, but I asked them to do something I know they are good at and would enjoy. I asked a few of them to be greeters at the wedding because our ushers are super shy, one friend with a gorgeous voice to sing, and another who is studying interior design to design centerpieces. I’m giving them all flowers and they will take pictures with me. They aren’t required to spend money on any particular attire. We are having a very small family only bridal party, and if we weren’t they would have all been asked. Honestly, they are genuinely touched by the gesture. I think it helps to not give something too time consuming during the wedding day. Even the friends I asked to be greeters, they will help out before the ceremony, but have no responsibilities after the ceremony or at the reception other than to have fun as a guest. I stressed that mainly I just want to recognize them and for them to take a professional photo with me.
I wouldn’t worry about them complaining about being a bridesmaids. Still a very small percentage of your wedding guests are getting recognized at all, and they should be happy about it. If they aren’t, well then they should just deal