Need some guidance.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
220 posts
Helper bee

I think you honestly need to know your worth first and foremost, and not base it off of what FI thinks. However, it would be a good idea and bring up to him. He may feel insecure about himself. Perhaps because it only lasts five minutes? When you guys do get down to it, make sure he knows your are enjoying yourself, even if you don’t get to the big O. But talk to him and let him know what you’d like. Ex: I would LOVE to try a new position. 69?

Get yourself ready if you know what I’m saying. And I would say to stop asking if he is in the mood at SHOW him that you are. Simple kisses on the neck and  close hugs. When you’re alone, sit on his lap. If youre REALLY alone, strip down if front of him and play with yourself. When you have caught his eye(even if he isn’t gawking), walk over amd straddle him. Kiss his neck, show him you mean business, take innitiative. 

Also some guys have very low sex drive, regardless of what magazines and other relationships may have told you. Stress, nerves, and a number of other things can contribute to this and it can change over time. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. 


Ps. Confidence is sexy! Show him how hot you are! 😉

Post # 3
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am so sorry, I’ve lived through this though it was due in part to a few various diagnosis of my ex and subsequent depression but it took a huge toll on me, my confidence, everything.  And I tried everything, talking, taking charge, all of it but I’d get the same “I’ll try better” response but nothing.  I too felt invisible and unsexy and eventually I had to get out.  Unfortunately I don’t think it’s as easy as PP said, though that is certainly worth trying.  You have to decide how important for you this is in a relationship and the consequences if that doesn’t happen, and he needs to understand that too.  Relationships aren’t 50/50, they’re 100/100 and when one person doesn’t seem willing to work on an issue, even bigger ones develop.  It sounds like I did, it wasn’t even about frequency of sex, or even having sex, just wanting to feel desired and wanted.  It’s reason number one while he is now my ex.  Current DH and I, more compatible than my wildest dreams on that level and so many others and my confidence and happiness have soared.  

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