Post # 1
So I wasn’t sure where to post this, thought I’d keep it on my home base, the waiting board…
I had a new neighbor move in a few months ago, he’s older (mid-forties?) and I really haven’t gone out of my way to talk with him (aka I haven’t been flirting!!) and…I just get this creepy vibe. I want to tell my SO, but I don’t want to sound paranoid :/
Do I say something to the neighbor? I think I’m being obvious that I am not interested, and he’s seen that I have my SO! (we live seperately right now). Just hate leaving my door! I have had the occasional creep, but it’s always been random and a short amount of time (at work, or a store).
Used to be really friendly with men, just because I thought I’d be nice, then they’d end up thinking that I liked them! So I’ve learned to be neutral and not ask questions. Just not sure what to do in this case…
SO and I will be house hunting, but not till January, and I’m sure it will take time to get one!
Post # 3
@tigerallie: Hmmm Im on the fence. Has he made advances to you? does he go out of his way to talk to you? if so def yes say somthing to SO. I would more just make your SO aware of how you feel toward this guy.
Good luck I cant wait to get out of a complex! and you house hunting is just around the corner hang on!
Post # 4
@tigerallie: Hi bee!
UGH I’ve totally dealt with creepy neighbor men. I think I need more details to give you my advice lol.
1) You don’t mention if this creepy guy ever talks to you….is he giving off a creepy vibe or trying to initiate a conversation?
2) Are you talking about saying something to your SO or creepy neighbor guy?
Post # 5
@veryberry13: Yea, everytime I leave my apartment and he’s outside he’ll automatically talk to me, or follow me down to the courtyard when I’m walking my dog–I don’t even smile or do anything! I’ve just been giving one word answers, “yup…” “mmhmm”
He’ll say the usual good morning, but then ask more or tell me I look nice…just sends off that hint of creepy.
And both! Haha but I actually mentioned it to my SO afterwards, just feels better that he knows. He just agreed to keep acting the same way, and kick him hard down south 😉
Just not sure if I should say something to the neighbor, might make things awkward…or maybe he’ll eventually get the clue!
Thanks just wanted to vent!!
Post # 6
When I was living alone in an apartment, I’d call someone to talk to while I took my dog out at night or if I had to park away from and walk a ways to my bulding. Just a girlfriend ususally, sometimes I’d take the opportunity to catch up with my parents. In a pinch I’d fake talk to someone. I don’t enjoy talking on the phone, but it definitely makes me less approachable, and if you’re not actually engrossed in the conversation you can still keep your wits about you.
I don’t assume the worst, some people are just a little off, but I definitely don’t make it easy for someone to continue interacting with me in a way that makes me uncomfortable.
Post # 7
@tigerallie: I’d normally advise you not to confront Creepy Man, but since he keeps approaching you, perhaps you need to say something. Perhaps a bit of a fib? “I’m sorry, but my fiance is EXTREMELY possessive, and he and I have made a policy not to talk to opposite-gender neighbors when we’re alone. So I’m going to have to ask you not to talk to me unless my fiance is present.”
Post # 8
@tigerallie: I think it’s good that your SO is in the know…just in case!
I’m EXTRA cautious around men of the opposite sex and not as trusting as some other bees would be lol. I’ve read a lot of articles that say that when your gut starts sending off the ‘creepy’ red flag to your brain, it’s your intuition letting you know not to trust something. The stats out there are high, like 8 out of 10 women felt very creeped out or on alert by an individual before being attacked.
Post # 9
@tigerallie: Tigger, I have to agree with both veryberry and lilxlil. Most women attacked by an acquaintance report knowing something was “off”. Get some pepper spray. Also Lil makes a good point, extremely jealous boyfriend who you just happen to be on the phone with might make you seem less defenseless in his eyes. I’d advise getting the pepper spray before the confrontation. Or as we do in South, just renew your carry permit.
Post # 10
@shaka: Love the cell phone idea! Definitely will use it next time I have to walk my puppy at night 🙂
@LittleByLittle: If he continues or says something VERY off, I will say something to him…although I have to muster up the courage to do it 😛 not really a big lover of confrontations–but I’ll do my best!!
@veryberry13: Totally agree!! That’s what tipped me off in the first place was that gut feeling. I’m glad I told my SO too, at least he is aware…I asked him “why are some men like this?!!” and he just replied, “men are pigs” haha he’s not your average guy.
@SomedaymrsWDS: My SO also suggested pepper spray… I’d be a bit nervous carrying it, but should the situation arrived I’d rather something than nothing!! And although I’m a northerner at heart living in the south I’m definitely learning southern ways…so perhaps it would be best to have protection. (Btw love your avatar!)
Thanks ladies!! It feels so good to have all your support, I’m sure everything will be fine, but I will definitely be putting all your advice to use!!
Post # 11
Post # 12
@tigerallie: I have been holding on to the “my precious” pic for a year – when we first discussed marriage. SO has never see it so I’m excited to have a place to use it!