- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
This is a long story and it’s really eating me up inside. I just need some place to vent and maybe an outsiders perspective on the story?
My sister, Sarah, (who is 2 years younger than me) has always been a drama queen. She gets in a lot of trouble and told a lot of lies growing up. She dated Marcus (who is French) in college for a few months 10 years ago. They broke up and Sarah started dating a new guy, John. A few years go by, they got engaged and planned a wedding for 3 years later in October 2010. In October 2009, a year before the wedding, Sarah called off the wedding because she said John was cheating on her. My family and I weren’t too upset because John wasn’t a good person (although my parents did lose several thousand on vendor deposits).
In December 2009, I started dating my now-FI, and the next month Sarah started long-distance dating Marcus (they reconnected on facebook). In June 2010 Sarah relocated to California to move-in with Marcus (where he lives & works). I liked Marcus & thought he was a decent guy. Fast forward to summer 2011, FI and I had talked about getting engaged and going ring-shopping. Sarah called and said Marcus proposed to her and they are getting married next summer. FI and I put our engagement plans on hold because I don’t want to be engaged & getting married at the same time as Sarah, because I know there will be a lot of drama and she will steal all the attention. Sarah planned her wedding for July 2012 (which my parents happily paid for). In May 2012, FI proposed and we plan on getting married a year later in May 2013 (so my parents don’t have to pay for two weddings close to each other!). Sarah had a beautiful lavish wedding in July that went off without a hitch & everyone is happy. Until a month ago.
FI and I are on vacation and I get a call from Sarah saying that Marcus had an affair and got the other woman pregnant. I cut short my vacation and fly out to California with my parents to try to console Sarah and figure out whats going on. Sure enough, Marcus cheated on her and Sarah wants a divorce. My parents and I go with her to the attorneys office. As I’m reading over the paperwork, I notice her marriage license says July 2010, not 2012. My father asks her about it, and she admits they got married two years earlier because Marcus needed a green card to stay in the country, and that their other ‘wedding’ in 2012 was just for show.
And then pretty much hell breaks loose. My parents are livid because they were lied to and paid a lot of money for a fake wedding, and I’m upset because I postponed my engagement & wedding for her fake wedding. Eventually we calm down and manage to get through the rest of the week. It’s obvious to my parents & I that Marcus married Sarah just for the greencard. The marriage needed to last for two year to be ‘official’ and right after the two year mark he started the affair. Sarah files for divorce and it will be finalized relatively soon (before my wedding). My parents decide to not tell anyone outside our family about the fake wedding.
Now Sarah is rightfully very upset, but I don’t know what to do. Everyone is saying how awkward my wedding will be for Sarah. She is suppose to be my maid of honor. I told her I would be 100% supportive if she thinks it will be too much for her and wants to back out. I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t want her to be creating a scene at our wedding (she’s very good at attention grabbing and causing drama). I can’t cancel or postpone my wedding because everything is paid for, and honestly, I’ve already pushed back getting married once for her. I just don’t know what to do / feel. I feel very bad for her that she got tricked into marrying such a manipulative man, but I feel bad for myself because my wedding is going to be overshadowed by her drama and everyone saying ‘Poor Sarah’ all day. I’m not sure if she will be able to hold it together walking down the aisle and standing at the altar.
To top it off, FI is super-pissed at Sarah (they never had a good relationship to start with) for the whole fake wedding thing, so I can’t talk to him about this. I just kinda needed a shoulder to cry on and maybe someone else’s opinion. Thoughts?