Post # 1
FI and I are 20, we graduate in a year and a half and the wedding is set for a year after graduation. We live seperatly with our parents. He currently works full time making $10 an hour with a lot of over time thrown in and is expected to be at $15 by the end of the year and I work about 12 hours a week making $8, which pretty much covers my gas at the moment but I am able to pick up more hours during the summer and don’t spend nearly as much in gas so I should be able to save up some more money. He has about $400 in bills (including gas) a month and I don’t have any bills just gas. My plan is that after graduation I will pick up more hours at work and do sub jobs if I don’t get a teaching job right out of school. We decided a while ago that we would move out 2 months after graduation so that I could have a litte time to settle into more hours at work and save a little more money. We would be able to cover rent and bills every month just fine and put some money towards the wedding every month.
Now heres the hitch, my parents want me to live with them until the wedding. Its not because they don’t want us living together but they want us to be able to save more money. His mom is perfectly okay with him staying with her another year (I think she would be happy if he never moved out). I know it would be really really smart financially to stay with them for another year and they are so good to me/us. They are fine with us staying the night with each other, they don’t mind if we come and go as long as we let them know which home we will be at to sleep. We of course get into arguments and it gets hard at times but overall they are great. BUT I want to live with my fiance, I have been dreaming of living with him since we turned 18 and I always wanted to live with my future husband before we got married.
We would still be able to save money living on our own but not as much. It would be really practical to stay becuase we get along with our parents so well and it would be nice to save more money, but I never thought I would be 22 and still living with my parents (not that it is bad if you do just not what I pictured for me)
So bees what do you think we should do? Stay an extra year or stick with our original plan? Would it be worth the extra money? Did any of you go through something similar?
Post # 3
@alyssaC: Honestly I think if you two are engaged and are going to be married, another year isn’t going to make a difference. Either way, you two will still get married and you will still be with your FI/Husband. Especially since you will be able to save money for another year before you get married so that you will start off your marriage with better financial footing. And it sounds like both sets of parents are being pretty flexible with allowing him to be over and things like that. At least they aren’t giving you a curfew or anything like that. Trust me by waiting another year and saving up money, you will appreciate that extra buffer when you two do move in together! It will be well worth the time you are taking to save up that money and live with the parents a little bit longer. And I think that the parents are trying to look out for both you and your FI’s best interests.
Post # 4
Stay the extra year. What is one year in the grand scheme of things? I’m kind of in the same situation. We are getting married next may and I live with my parents. He lives with a roommate and pays only 250 a month in rent. But he is here with me 95% of the time. It’s really hard not having our own space anymore (we used to live together before times got tough financially). We are able to sleep together in our bed which is in my room but it’s just not the same. I don’t feel comfortable being intimate with him in my parents’ house so that has put a damper on our relationship. We know that we need to save and we would be doing ourselves a disservice by moving out now. I know it’s tough but since your parents are giving you this opportunity to stay there you should take it.
Post # 5
I think you need to stay at your parents because there are so many things changing in your life that adding moving in together might just be too much. Plus, from my experience, the 2-3 years after you graduate, you change soooooo much. Many relationships can’t handle the college to real life transitions. If you move in together, it’s just one more thing you have to untangle. It know 1 years seem like forever, but you have the next 50 years to live with him. Take you time and save some money.
Post # 6
Stay!!.You are so lucky to have this opportunity.It is just a year, then a lifetime with your man 🙂
Post # 7
I dunno, I moved out at 18 for school hours away from home and never came back, so I may not really understand what it’s like to live with your parents as an adult, but even though I was POOOOOOOR a lot of the time, I’d never trade the experience of living alone. But, I guess you won’t be alone persay, and if delaying a year isn’t the end of the world, I guess it’s ok to stay with your parents. But, I still vote moving out, because I think it builds character.
Post # 8
I would definitely stay another year for free. I get that you want to be on your own but you’re still young, and financial problems are real and a huge source of problems in relationships. It is huge to start off on the right foot and financially secure. Just pretend you’re from a Latin American country where it’s the norm to live with your parents into your 20s! 😉
Post # 9
Stay. Save money. The real world is mighty expensive, even if you’re livin on love…
Post # 10
Honestly, I would stick it out with your parents for another year. It will be worth it and so much less stress if you have money saved up. I could understand the stress if your family wasn’t cool with you coming and going and him staying over but since they are so cool about everything, you can defintely make it.
Post # 11
I also left at 18 and neve went back. I think there is some key things people learn when the live on their own. However, you’d be going from your mom’s house to live with your H – never having a chance to live to your own before you get married.
But since living totally alone was not really part of your plan, then I’d stay home to save money.
Post # 12
Stay and save the money:) I really wish I would have had the option of living with my parents longer (just for the money saving- dont get me wrong I love my parents). Hang in there, a year goes by super fast!
Post # 13
I would stay at home another year. I moved out only 2 months after graduting college because my job way too far of a commute, but given the opportunity, I definitely would have stayed living at home and saved. A year will go by quickly and it will put both of you in a better financial place to begin your married life!
Post # 14
Stay. Create a budget and save money ‘as if’ you were living on your own. Like, put away a major portion of what you would be spending on rent/bills. Transitioning to living-together situation without a lot of money is TOUGH…trust me. I learned the hard way that planning for what we ‘would be’ making is not reliable.
I would at least give it 3-6 months or so after graduation before you move out…see how hard it is for you to find a teaching job and make sure he’s getting his raises like expected. Money stress makes every other tiny problem you might have SO much worse.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would look around and try to find a cheap apartment before you make a decision either way. If you can find a place for like $500/month, I think it’d be worth it to have your own place and start your living-together, real-couple lives! Definitely wait til after graduation and until you have a sense of how much money you’ll be making every month.
Post # 16
We talked about it a little this morning and we decided to stay for at least 6 months and then see where we are at with money and our parents. We will most likely stay the full year but it will be nice knowing that if we get to a point where we feel like we need to move out we can. We will just have to keep reminding ourselves that it will be so worth it in the end to have a big chunk of money saved. And he just let me know this morning that his car isn’t doing so well so he is going to need a new one soon and it would be nice to have as much possible of that paid off before we move out.
Thank you so much bees I guess it was hard for me to hear the logical side of it because FI and I want to move out so badly but our parents want us to stay as long as possible and it’s hard listening to them because most of the time it turns into them not wanting their babies to leave because we are both the youngest and the only ones living at home. But they are right and you are right, so we will stay and have lots of sleepovers 🙂 lol