Need someone to knock some sense into me?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This title has Julies written all over it. Now where is she? 

Post # 4
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

At 23, I think you can just relax.  Espeically when he is still in school, and you have only been in a relationship for 8 months.  Somedays at this point are pretty typical.  When you are in school, you don’t know where you will be when you finish, what you will be doing, and if the relationship will work when you are both in the “real world.”  Someone who wanted to comitt with all those varrabiles would be scarier than someone who is honest and goes “maybe one day.”

Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

cls9q:  LOL. Yes it does!

OP, I’ll knock some sense into you. I didn’t even finish reading your post b/c you are obsessing.

Stop obsessing! Take a backpacking trip around Europe by yourself and stop obsessing about marriage. 

Post # 8
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The vast majority of 23 year old males that I’ve ever known are not ready for marriage. He’s still in school, the two of you have only been together for 8 months…..slow down and try to enjoy your relationship. Not every guy knows right away if 1. he wants to get married and 2. if the girl he’s dating is “the one.”

Post # 9
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

willow_1960:  I was definitely going the “tough love” route, but I also really stand by what I said. I know some people are ready for marriage at 23, but I just don’t get what the rush is! It’s not like this man is leaving you, or your “clock” is slowing down. 

I think for most people, 8 months is REALLY early to be talking marriage, even as a “someday,” and especially for someone in school. Definitely chill. 🙂

Post # 10
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Having a guy you have been dating for 8 months say he can’t say for sure he wants to marry you is better than him saying he knows 100%. Based on my relationship experience, the partner I knew at 8 months is completely different than the one I knew at the 1.5 or 2 year mark. I don’t think you can know for sure at 8 months and he is smart to be honest and say he doesn’t know what will happen.

Be happy he is truthful! Enjoy your current relationship! Now… if it’s been 3 or 4 years and he doesn’t know…. then maybe re-evaluate.

Post # 11
5196 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Focus on building a healthy and strong relationship with this person; if it’s meant to be, engagement and marriage will come as a consequence.

Post # 12
6173 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i had a boyfriend from age 20-23or24.  we talked about marriage, about 2 years into the relationship, we were even living together because he had a house i moved there after i graduated from college.  he was even ready to buy a ring a propose.  but i was no where near ready for that at that age.

you are young and have plenty of time.  both of you should want to spend the rest of your lives with each other and neither should question it. 

you shouldn’t force him to make that decision.  when he is ready, he is ready.  and you may or may not be the right one.

Post # 13
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

willow_1960:  Sometimes I just wish I knew what’s going to happen…

We’d all like this, but sometimes you need to invest in the journey and not the destination. If you’re only in this relationship for an end goal of a ring, you shouldn’t be in the relationship at all. I’m not sure how I feel about you “liking to be one step ahead of the game”… relationships aren’t “games.” If I felt like a significant other was second guessing me and had to be “ahead of me” in this “game” of a relationship, that would be a huge red flag for me to get out because it sounds like a mind game. Even if you’re not saying this out loud, your obsessive behavior would have me wondering if you wanted to be in the relationship to be happy or you were just looking to “win the game” and have a ring at the end. Just being totally honest with you that if you keep this up, you will drive your boyfriend away. Quickly.

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