Need to pick one more bridesmaid but im torn between 2!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Do i choose the lifelong friend or the new friend??!!?!?
    S- lifelong friend : (1 votes)
    6 %
    A- new friend : (15 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9533 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @charlie_farner:  Neither. It’s no big deal for him to have 6 groomsmen and youj have 5 bridesmaids. It’s a giant pain in the ass to have a bridesmaid that isn’t someone you’re really close to. So I vote neither.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I agree- it’s going to be easier & cause less drama in the long run to just have uneven sides.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @charlie_farner:  I didn’t get beyond your first line and my advice is: NO YOU DON’T!

    There is no rule that says you have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. The only reason you’d need even numbers is if you’re OCD about symmetry. Don’t feel pressured to pick one over the other. Pick neither, pick both, pick one – it literally doesn’t matter.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I agree, neither.  No need for symmetry.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @charlie_farner:  I agree with PPs to have neither. Your old friend and you don’t communicate. If I had to chose one, I would choose the new friend. The only bad thing is what if she and FI’s bff break up? Would you still be friends with her? Or would it be awkward to see her in photos?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @charlie_farner:  neither – we had an uneven bridal party and we loved it. My DH didnt want to add a guy he didnt want around him all day…just to even the number and I was fine with it. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I have certainly seen bigger at the occasional Wedding (8 to 12 Attendants per side)

    Is it too large ?  Well that comes down to what YOU can afford.  My best advice for Brides is that they familiarize themselves with what Etiquette (Traditional & Modern) has to say on the topic of Bridal Parties, and WHO pays for what… and the Roles & Responsibilities for BOTH parties.

    And what is the norm / standard as well for your area / Country.

    If both sides are open and honest about things / expectations upfront there will be far less drama involved.

    You can find my posting on Bridal Parties and Traditional Roles, Responsibilities & Expenses here…

    MOH & Bridesmaids =http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/afraid-of-being-called-a-bridezilla#axzz2f5Svnlez (Reply # 15)

    BM & Groomsmen / Ushers = http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/is-it-odd-for-groomsmen-to-not-even-give-a-card#axzz2f5Svnlez (Reply # 9)

    You can find more modern lists various places on line or in Bridal Magazines / Books.

    Which is you choose to follow (or not follow) is up to you.. and with all things Etiquette / Manners related a CHOICE that one takes that may have risks / consequences associated with it.

    The thing to keep in mind, is a Bridesmaid or Groomsman is not necessarily JUST someone who shows up dressed appropriately and smiles for the camera (lol, if that was the case, and the EXPECTATION on both sides, then we certainly wouldn’t see so many DRAMA / TRAUMA filled posts here on WBee)

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    @charlie_farner:  I would let it be uneven, but if you dont want that I’d choose your new friend. Sounds like you would be choosing your old friend out of obligation rather then anything else. And really, the length of time you’ve known someone says nothing about the bond you have 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Neither, dont ask someone else so you can even the parties.

    We had uneven bridal parties, and it made no difference.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I was in the same boat as you, FH added one more guy, and we kept it like that (6 GM to 5 BM). Whatever. One of my girls thought it was funny that she gest to walk down with two guys :P.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Definitely the new friend!

    Post # 16
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t get to the descriptions of your choices because you really don’t need to do this.  Go with the group you have with uneven sides.  You didn’t select them as your nearest and dearest the first go-around so please don’t do it now.  

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