Post # 1
Ok. so my FI added a groomsmen… so now i have to pick one more bridesmaid. which puts our wedding party at a whopping 6 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, 1 jr bm, 1 jr gm, flower girl, and ring bearer… is that too large? Its an outdoor ceremony with 50-80 guests. but our reception is gonna have 150+ ppl (invited, plus we do plan on having crashers, lol)
Ok. i need to choose one more BM. my choices are…
We’ll call her S. I grew up with her. we were really close all our lives. in 2005 she got married, and we really havent talked much. She lives states away, has a family to care for. she visited for a few months this summer and i only seen her twice. not because she wanted to hang out with me, but because she was hanging out with a mutual friend. She mentioned if i needed another BM she would love to do it. but we dont even have each others phone numbers. am i supposed to ask her on fb to be my BM?
Next, We’ll call her A. Met her over the past year. She is my FI best friends GF. We get along great! better than any of my life long friends! She lives nearby. Has no children but a busy job. she is crafty and is usally very willing to hang out if shes not working 🙂 and we do have each others phone numbers, lol.
Both girls are a blast to hang out with and are very fun and vibrant women but idk. do i choose S because we grew up together? Or A because we get along so great and it is a new yet great friendship?
Post # 3
@charlie_farner: Neither. It’s no big deal for him to have 6 groomsmen and youj have 5 bridesmaids. It’s a giant pain in the ass to have a bridesmaid that isn’t someone you’re really close to. So I vote neither.
Post # 4
I agree- it’s going to be easier & cause less drama in the long run to just have uneven sides.
Post # 5
@charlie_farner: I didn’t get beyond your first line and my advice is: NO YOU DON’T!
There is no rule that says you have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. The only reason you’d need even numbers is if you’re OCD about symmetry. Don’t feel pressured to pick one over the other. Pick neither, pick both, pick one – it literally doesn’t matter.
Post # 6
I agree, neither. No need for symmetry.
Post # 7
@charlie_farner: I agree with PPs to have neither. Your old friend and you don’t communicate. If I had to chose one, I would choose the new friend. The only bad thing is what if she and FI’s bff break up? Would you still be friends with her? Or would it be awkward to see her in photos?
Post # 8
@charlie_farner: neither – we had an uneven bridal party and we loved it. My DH didnt want to add a guy he didnt want around him all day…just to even the number and I was fine with it.
Post # 10
@megz06: They have been dating for 10 years and He has been talking about proposing to her 🙂 and i would still hang out with her if they broke up. 🙂
Post # 11
I have certainly seen bigger at the occasional Wedding (8 to 12 Attendants per side)
Is it too large ? Well that comes down to what YOU can afford. My best advice for Brides is that they familiarize themselves with what Etiquette (Traditional & Modern) has to say on the topic of Bridal Parties, and WHO pays for what… and the Roles & Responsibilities for BOTH parties.
And what is the norm / standard as well for your area / Country.
If both sides are open and honest about things / expectations upfront there will be far less drama involved.
You can find my posting on Bridal Parties and Traditional Roles, Responsibilities & Expenses here…
MOH & Bridesmaids =http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/afraid-of-being-called-a-bridezilla#axzz2f5Svnlez (Reply # 15)
BM & Groomsmen / Ushers = http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/is-it-odd-for-groomsmen-to-not-even-give-a-card#axzz2f5Svnlez (Reply # 9)
You can find more modern lists various places on line or in Bridal Magazines / Books.
Which is you choose to follow (or not follow) is up to you.. and with all things Etiquette / Manners related a CHOICE that one takes that may have risks / consequences associated with it.
The thing to keep in mind, is a Bridesmaid or Groomsman is not necessarily JUST someone who shows up dressed appropriately and smiles for the camera (lol, if that was the case, and the EXPECTATION on both sides, then we certainly wouldn’t see so many DRAMA / TRAUMA filled posts here on WBee)
Hope this helps,
Post # 12
@charlie_farner: I would let it be uneven, but if you dont want that I’d choose your new friend. Sounds like you would be choosing your old friend out of obligation rather then anything else. And really, the length of time you’ve known someone says nothing about the bond you have 🙂
Post # 13
Neither, dont ask someone else so you can even the parties.
We had uneven bridal parties, and it made no difference.
Post # 14
I was in the same boat as you, FH added one more guy, and we kept it like that (6 GM to 5 BM). Whatever. One of my girls thought it was funny that she gest to walk down with two guys :P.
Post # 15
Definitely the new friend!
Post # 16
I didn’t get to the descriptions of your choices because you really don’t need to do this. Go with the group you have with uneven sides. You didn’t select them as your nearest and dearest the first go-around so please don’t do it now.