Post # 1
I wasn’t sure whether this should go in emotional or ring, but I tossed it here because I really feel the whole situation is less about the ring. We’ve been married a little over two months, and my partner is pretty much used to his ring. He doesn’t like to wear it at work, so he keeps it in his locker (although he’s been shopping for a necklace to put it on while he is at work, just haven’t found one that he likes enough yet). I think it’s also worth noting that he has been working out a lot more (Crossfit) and while I don’t think he has lost a ton of weight, his arms are definitely a lot more defined. I feel like sometimes his ring is a touch loose. He tried it on a size smaller, but felt it would be way too tight (we actually bought that one, and he took it back after trying to wear it for less than an hour b/c it was so uncomfortable).
So you probably know where this is headed: he lost the ring. It’s been three days now, and he is beside himself. He is very upset with himself, even though I keep trying to tell him that we’ll find it and I’m not mad at him. We tried going through his Sunday morning (literally – I had him lead me through where he was, what he did). He swears that he had it Sunday morning, and then when he left for his clinicals it was gone. He was almost late b/c he kept looking – I had to tell him to leave. I’m a little bothered that he lost it b/c he has a tendency to forget where he puts things (hello, phone in his pocket and then washed those pants). However, I am more concerned about how upset he is. The ring was not expensive and we can replace it – it isn’t a one of a kind. For two evenings, he has come to me very upset, concerned that I’m upset with him (and I’m not. Not even a little bit – and I asked him if i was acting upset adn he said no). I don’t want to rush out and replace the ring, b/c with my luck, that is when I’d walk back in the house adn that sucker would be sitting in the ring dish in the bathroom.
Any advice? I know people loose things every day, but I just feel so bad that he is beating himself up over it.
Post # 3
I lost my engagement and wedding rings when we moved across the country. Stuff happens. I’d give it some time before you write it off as a lost cause. I really thought mine would turn up (it never did), but it very well could.
Poor guy. I felt horrible (and still do) about mine and this happened two years ago!
Post # 4
My husband lost his ring in the ocean on the second day of our honeymoon. He claims he got startled by a “giant” sea turtle. We went to a jewelry store and the woman working there told us she gets about three couples a day who lost a ring in the ocean! It happens.
Just keep reassuring him….and if that doesn’t work, you can always make him laugh by telling him the story of how I’m probably now married to a sea turtle off the coast of Hawaii :p
Post # 5
@MsLobizon: DH’s ring is titanium, so it is very very inexpensive. In the 5 years he wore his original one, it held up extremely well. He has lost 100 pounds in the last year, and his ring size went from an 11 to a 9. We have gotten him almost every half size between 11 and 9 throughout the last year so he always had a ring that fit him to wear. I couldn’t even tell you which was his original one (except that it would be the biggest with the most scratches). We aren’t superstitious at all, and it’s been working out perfect for us. I also got a new set of rings for our 5 year anniversary this month. We are happy campers!
Post # 6
@stuckinwonderland: He still keeps looking. i helped him take apart our kitchen drain today. I keep thinking that they’ll turn up, I’m sure they second we buy a replacement! I’m sorry that you never found yours
@sara_tiara: Yikes! I would not have been as surprised if we had a pool or something. Just wait til you go back to your honeymoon spot… that turtle is looking for you!
@ceebree: That’s really reassuring! We’re not incredibly superstitous either, but he feels so awful! We were actually watching Duck Dynasty tonight and one of the characters got a wedding band (can’t remember if he lost his or never had it), and then the same day he got the new ring, he lost it. It ended up being in his pocket, but he almost got his wife’s initials/name/some bloody dagger tattooed on his ring finger! It was kind of ironic that the episode came on today! The whole time, we kept looking at each other, and at every commerical, he kept apologizing. I said, he let’s go get a replacement that is different but you still like. Then, when we find the other ring, you have options!
Post # 7
Oh, poor guy! I think he needs to hear from other guys who have also lost their rings (which is besically every guy I have ever met). A ring is also just a symbol of the commitment. It may be too soon, but I suggest you buy him a couple of replacement rings so he has a few on hand. It sounds odd, but by having multiple it shows that it’s just a token and not a reflection on your relationship or his commitment.
Post # 8
A week into our marriage we were in Paris at the top of Montparnasse Tower and hubby went to the bathroom, he came out and went to put his ring back on but it wasn’t in his top pocket (where he usually puts it to wash his hands).
He freaks out. There are a busload of Japanese tourists who chose that moment to go the bathroom, so hubby runs back in and starts looking everywhere in the bathroom, I am outside trying to see if it rolled into the construction area which has a 6 foot solid steel fence so with my head on the ground trying to see in the dark, cant see anything so I run into the male toilets to help look, honey is looking under stalls and calling out to people in the cubicles, we are searching like crazed people for about 10 minutes. The Japanese tourists thought we were mad. David was white as a sheet. And then he all of a sudden looks down at his hand and says with massive relief “its on my finger”. I was speechless and then just like “was this a joke?! Were you doing this to trick me?” it wasnt a joke.
I still have not let him live it down. He get so embarrased whenever I mention it to him.
He was intent upon getting the most comfortable fitting band, and it really was comfort fit he couldnt even tell it was there! He was so frantic I didnt even notice it was there lol.
The moral of the story is: it will turn up where you least expect it 🙂
Post # 9
I hope you find it! My husband lost his promise ring when he was fishing around 2 years ago. He came back to the location several times and tried to find it. Eventually, he got over it but he was really pretty bummed. I suggested that we shop for new ones because I somehow “misplaced” mine as well. He thought it was fate! 😉
Post # 10
@sara_tiara: LOL awwww.
But how does the Sea Turtle come into all of this? Does your man’s hands shrink when he gets scared?
Post # 11
@mousepeach: it freaked him out, so he tried to wave it away and his ring just flew off….I tease him about my “turtle husband” all the time. “my turtle husband would have let me pick the movie!”
Post # 12
@MsLobizon: I think it’s really sweet that he cares so much. It doesn’t matter that it is no expensive, the fact remains that it means something to him and now he feels that is lost (the symbol of it, not your relationship). I hope it turns up! I’m sure he will feel guilty until it does, or until it is replaced and he eventually forgets about it.
Post # 13
@sara_tiara: Oh man….that turtle was all “You come into MY house and shoo me away? Boy I don’t think so.”
Post # 14
My dh and I were only married 6 months before he lost his ring….it was inexpensive also…maybe $100.00, but he wasn’t upset at all. It didn’t bother me that much that he lost it, but more the fact it didn’t seem to bother him. I thought that was a little odd..come to find out he never really liked the ring (mind you, we picked it out together) so…maybe that’s why he didn’t seem to care. We never did find the ring and I ended up buying him another one a couple weeks later. I spend more on the new one..which he loves, but I told him if he lost this one he was back to having a cheap silver band. LOL
I would just give it a little more time to see if it turns up somewhere. Hope you find it!