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Eh, I guess I don't think it's that big of a deal, intimacy-wise. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and we used condoms + birth control right up until the wedding. I actually prefer condoms in a way since they make "clean up" easier! If we went back to using them, I don't think it would have a huge effect on our sex life.
yeah we use them when I take pill breaks until I've been back on for a few days. The only thing I notice is less clean-up for me! He says he doesn't really notice a difference. Maybe you just need to find a brand that you both like?
My husband and I went through this exact same thing. I was on birth control pills for about 7 years and I hated being on them. We have been using only condoms for the past 2 years or so and it is not bad at all. You will get into the habit of using them and hardly notice. Also, we have never had a pregnancy scare due to one breaking or slipping or just "forgeting". I don't see how people forget to use a condom... eeek!
DH and I went back to condoms after the wedding. My sex drive was low when I was on the pill and (this may be TMI) but made me kinda "dry". Now that I'm off, my drive has been higher but his has been lower due to the condoms! Argh! We still have sex, don't get me wrong, but I think we're just not as into it due to the inconvience of dealing with the condom. Some brands sort of desensitize him so we're working on finding a brand we both like and looking into other alternative forms of BC that doesn't involve messing with my hormones (spermacide, sponge, charting, etc). I know what you mean about that feeling of going backwards intimacy wise. Your health is definitely the priority tho! Maybe find creative ways to work condoms into foreplay so that it looks exciting rather than "ooh man I gotta wear that thing?"
I went through/am going through the same thing. When he and I first got together I was on the pill and it was great. Then I stopped taking it due to an unrelated illness. In the meantime, I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder and took a turn for the worse. At that point I decided to try BC pills again. BAD. IDEA. They made me SO SICK AND DIZZY AND GAVE ME MIGRAINES. The dr. officially told me I'd likely never be able to use hormonal BC again, as even the progesterone pills made me ill. So condoms it is for me.
Danny says it matters more to me than to him. I cry about it sometimes because my illness stops me from being a "normal person", but Danny doesn't care, so I guess why should I, right?
So you're not alone.
But just remember that intimacy has less to do with the body than the mind, that's what Danny told me. True intimacy is all about the mental connection you have to your partner, sex is just expressing that connection physically. What difference does a piece of latex make? The mental connection is still there.
@soyjoy222: Why not have yourself fitted for a diaphragm or a cervical cap? It might take some time out of your life to fit them into place before getting intimate, but at least you get the full spectrum of feeling your partner with you. Condoms aren't my favorite either, & my husband can't stay up with them, so I feel your pain.
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So I am going off birth control in order to re-adjust my hormones and hopefully my ovarian cysts will go away on their own once I go off my BC implant. FI and I have talked about it for a while, and he is more comfortable with me going off of it than I am. He wants me to get myself back to where I feel good again, and with my growing cysts and discomfort from that he has made it clear that I should focus on getting my health back in order (meanwhile, I'm worried about a decline in our sex life...something seems backwards here..).
When FI and I first started sleeping together, we used condoms, but then we both went and had STD testing done. When we both saw each other's results and that we were 'clean', we decided to stop using them, since I got my BC implant. Well, I love the fact that we don't use them and we can be spontaneous...plus it's been almost 3 years without using them and I think our sex life is great!
I'm so afraid that using them again is almost like moving backwards intimacy-wise. Anyone else been through this? I am eventually going to try the temping/charting stuff...but for now it looks like condoms is it.