Hey bees so we are nearly there and I should be so happy and excited but all my excitement is being masked by the future in laws, even my FI has had enough of their behaviour. Let me just exclude FFIL as he is lovely.
My FMIL has done nothing but interfere and made things difficult on purpose one example she took it upon her self to hire her own photographer!!! Because she didn’t want me in the pictures she wanted! It breaches the contract we have with our photographer and have spent ages trying to tell her this and it isn’t her wedding even though she gets the pics she wants anyway and i am more than happy to do that for her but the way she does things is so rude.
She insisted on making the BM dresses and seriously they are awful I feel bad for my BMs, well three of them! I have six all together but three BMs my FSIL and her two children I wouldn’t have had but FMIL literally told me had to have them and they have done nothing but moan. My FSIL is 40 she doesn’t need to be a BM. My other three BMs including my sister who is usually hard to handle have actually not said anything to me about dresses or schedules or anything and my sister has really been more supportive than I thought imaginable and I think it is making our relationship better which is lovely.
My FMIL made me spend a ton on material for the dresses which I wouldn’t have paid for but her and my FSIL said the cheaper material would look cheap blah blah and so I became weak and gave in. I feel so stupid if I could just stand up for myself! She accused the styles of dresses I liked originally for BMs to be slut like, this means a sweetheart neckline=slut in her opinion. The dresses have been altered from the pattern I wanted and she has made the younger ones dress so far off the floor her shoes stick out and I hate that! To me there is nothing worse than a long gown 2 inches off the floor trust me she will be standing at the back she is taller than me so hardly looks like a child!
So after forking out material FMIL said her grandchildren would be cold so I got shrugs made it may look a bit Christmasy but they are warm but apparently these weren’t good enough and too big or not practical. All I hear about is how the younger one is going to be cold and she can’t dance in her dress and she needs another dress for the eve which FMIL has made so she is apparently changing into a gothic dress with skulls all over it.
She was peeved I didn’t take her to see my dress so arranged that thinking I would extend the olive branch as they say and went yesterday she didn’t even come into the room properly she stopped in the door way said “very you” and promptly went picking up accessories to look at, I was stood there thinking what the hell am I doing here! Oh she did make a weight comment which I ignored because it was uncalled for and bitchy. Or maybe she thinks I look like a slut because it is strapless? Who knows. I love my dress and that’s all that matters. She did thaw out a bit after we had lunch but the comments she makes are uncalled for.
She refused to finish my sisters BM dress as the day my sister needed to go down and get sorted she had to then work, she is a manager so if a staff member calls in sick she has to work so she went crazy at me so FI told her we would take the dress as it is half made and find another seamstress to finish it (we found one) but FMIL went crazy about us taking the dress yet she said she wouldn’t finish it. Then FSIL wants me to buy brooches for the shrugs (they have pearl button on to do up already) she wants hair clips and she wanted her hair and makeup doing not happening with the hair and makeup we worked out the BMs have cost just as much as another wedding dress and the third most costly expense of the wedding! It’s just ridiculous. FSIL wanted a blingy dress what I really think is that she wants to wear a wedding dress!
FMIL and FSIL make me feel I have no place in the family and that I am not good enough for my FI. They are so odd, neither of them have any emotions about anything and to connect on an emotional level with them is never going to happen. My Aunt is so poorly she has terminal cancer and they don’t think she will make xmas so when I said my sister may be going to see my Aunt rather than sort a dress my FMIL compared the importance of the dress to my dying Aunt!!! Saying the dress is just as important… What planet is she on! Nothing is more important than the health of a family member if my sister doesn’t get the dress fitted with this other lady and visits my Aunt instead I will just get my sister a dress off the rack because seeing my Aunt comes first but FMIL was rolling her eyes at me when my mum was talking about it after we saw my dress yesterday I was like what!
This woman wants to make the day about her and her grand children she doesn’t care about me at all. And fine I can deal with that I just wish from the start I had stood up for myself. I have had plenty of times to speak my mind but I just can’t do it, I want to just yell at her, inside I am screaming and I can’t get it out. FI has been backing me up which is good but makes them dislike me more because they think I am no good for him. Maybe I need to ask her what she thinks of me? I honestly haven’t done anything wrong I walk on eggshells around her to not upset her but she has one opinion and that is hers everything is black and white and nothing in between with her.
My mum has stuck up for me and my FI she has been calm and relaxed because in the scheme of things she is dealing with my sick Aunt and all this is is just ridiculous and really there shouldn’t be any issues.
I don’t know what to do she is rude and all she cares about is her being seen and heard.
The way I feel at the moment I don’t want to get ready with FSIL or her two children because the stress is so great and I don’t think I can deal with it. I want to be stress free and enjoy the day.
Sorry about ranting I just want to get it all out somewhere so that I don’t explode.