- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. My husband says that I might be, just a little, but I need to vent. This is going to be long. Sorry! 🙁
-We planned this wedding within a few months, so things were stressed and rushed. (We were moving and wanted to have the wedding at home. It was short notice.) Everything worked out in the end, and it was fine. However, there were a few things that really got to me.
-My MIL hardly helped with anything for the wedding itself. In fact, she hardly told anyone when we got engaged. (To be honest, we were in our 2nd and 3rd years of college at that point. We were young-ish. However we’d been engaged for 2 1/2 years before the wedding.) I feel like she was embarrased by it? Hurt my feelings.
At the last second(roughly a week and a half out), she said that she’d pay for the rehearsal dinner. She waited until 2 days before the rehearsal to actually call the place and reserve a spot. (It worked out in the end, but still…2 days?!) It ended up getting me into trouble with relatives on my mom’s side whom I’ve had some issues with in the past. About a week before the wedding, I ended up with several e-mails from my aunts telling me that if I had invited my father’s side of the family, that I ought to invite my grandmother. They didn’t believe me that my MIL is really bad when it comes to planning things. (It wasn’t just this. It’s everything, so I’m trying not to take it personally.)
My mom, who is completely clueless, was trying to help with things. I had to order my wedding dress online, but I didn’t want it to be sent to my apartment. I asked her to have it sent to her office. I gave her all the info, links, size, etc. and she ended up accidently ordering a dress that was 2 sizes too big. It wasn’t a huge issue, because my MIL’s mother is a seamstress.
MIL made this huge deal about having G’ma do it. I was all for it, until she started to tell me horror stories of G’ma not finishing things on time. (One of them was that she had the dress in peices on the floor the morning of someone’s wedding.) G’ma was supposed to come up for something, and said that she’d bring her stuff and work on my dress, but ended up cancelling. So, at that point, I looked around for someone else to do it.
I come to find out later from my husband’s aunt, that MIL is completely offended that I had someone else work on my dress! After she told me all those horrible things, I was getting the impression that she didn’t even want me to have g’ma do it. I’m completely baffeled.
– MIL is engaged to this guy. Let’s call him W. Has been for quite a while. He’s a bit of an ass. The entire time I have been with my husband, and been around this guy, I have hardly spoken with him because he’s just so hard to have a civil converstation with. (He’s rude, crass, selfish, you name it. He likes to make situations awkward just because he can… He’s really someone that I have no desire to be around. We’re not sure why MIL is still with him…) He’s never been terribly nice to me, always been a bit rude. (Nothing personal to me, he’s like that with most everyone else.) Generally, I’m very polite to people, unless they give me a reason not to be. Even then, I’m still polite, but I don’t try terribly hard. He’s the only person that I’ve ever been completely awestruck by.
I got our wedding date by luck. A few months out, my options were limited, and everything just happened to line up on that date. (Which was VERY lucky.) When I told MIL about the date, she was okay with it, but mentioned that W had a wedding he was going to the day after, and it was quite a distance away. So he’d have to choose between the two weddings. That kind of sucked, but I wasn’t about to move things around for him. MIL didn’t really seem to care about him not being able to go (which says a lot) but said she didn’t want to go to that wedding anyways. (Didn’t know anyone else, etc. Obviously would rather be at her son’s wedding.)
However, W flipped his sh*t when he found out about the date. MIL started to ask me if there were any way that I could move everything, and honestly, I wasn’t willing to even try just so W could come.
A few days later, at a family gathering, I was in the kitchen helping with dinner, W comes in and starts complaining indirectly to me and loud enough for everyone in the house to hear. Saying “*friend* is like a brother to me, and his daughter has had this date picked out for OVER a year, and K won’t MOVE THE DATE.” then starts yelling at me about it. I basically told him that he needed to grow a pair and go to the other wedding by himself. (Which is completely out of character for me. I’m really quiet, but I’d had enough.) MIL only said to me “Don’t pay attention to him.” instead of talking to him. So that was a tension issue up until the wedding. In the end, he chose to come to ours, but complained the WHOLE time.
-Is it rude for people NOT to stand up when the bride and her dad (or whomever) enters the ceremony? I noticed that only a few people did, which seemed weird that no one else did. I don’t know. On top of that, we had about 15 people that just decided not to show up. No word, no nothing. Really hurt my feelings.
-Also, I am close to my ex/best friend’s mother, so I had invited her to the wedding. She told me that she wouldn’t be able to make it to the ceremony because a work thing she was needing to get finished, but said she’d come to the reception.
She had been married to this guy who was a complete jerk. I never liked him, and he was almost as bad as W. They’ve been divorced for a couple of years now.
We get to the reception, and I look over at the table with best friend, his BF, and his mom, only to see her EX husband sitting there. She just brought him to the sit down dinner reception. I was a little taken back by that, and then when we went around to mingle with people, she said that she wasn’t too hungry because they’d eaten dinner at some bar before they got there. … to top that off, she didn’t bring a card or anything. (Not that I was treating this as a gift grab, but…?)
I’m not even sure how to respond to that. I want to say something, but I don’t feel like it’s going to accomplish anything.