Post # 1
Hi guys, I have lurked for a while and decided to join the Bee. I needed a place to let off a bit of steam, and I have seen the good advice and encouragement here!
I am getting married in seven months. My FI is awesome, and we have a great relationship. But wedding planning flat out sucks and I am not enjoying it at all. I am in my senior year of college studying biology, which is a high level of stress in the academic environment I am in. It just seems like anytime wedding stuff comes up, it makes me feel ten times worse. Not because of my relationship, but the stress from making decisions. I have to admit, I don’t handle anxiety well. I am at the point that I can’t sleep well if anything with the wedding comes up, and school is just wave after wave of tests and assignments. I am just bursting into tears over the littlest things even when I know it is ridiculous to get upset over. I almost just want to elope to avoid the stress of planning! I want the wedding, just not the planning part if that makes sense? It is so hard to plan during school, and I have to applaud anyone who is doing this and handling it well.
Does anyone have any advice in how to deal with the stress better? Thanks for reading!
Post # 2
Breath. Remeber that school comes first before wedding plannihg (in my opinon anywat) also remeber it’s okay to ask for help planning the wedding. Ask mom sis fmil fsil friends aunt cousins the list goes on. Just ask them To do things that will help you but remeber to give detail instructions if you want it done a certian way. Good luck and hope all goes well
Post # 3
ment.to.be2013: Thank you! It is so hard to remember to just breathe sometimes, but you are right.
Post # 4
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! You could also consider a little bit of a longer engagement and start planning after you’re done with your last year of school. I got engaged right before I had to study for and take the bar exam, so I told my FI that I definitely wasn’t going to plan just yet. He was fine with that and we waited! If waiting is not an option, just get help from your support system and put off some things until the wedding draws closer. School comes first; don’t stress!
Post # 5
I was there, I know the stress you speak of – I graduated in 2011 with a BS in Biology. 4 months before graduating and the DAY I began my lab-intensive research (capstone/thesis project) my ex broke up with me – stress sucks in academic environments.
You just have to work hard and push through it. You can do it. Just think of all you’ve accomplished; 3 years in the sciences is not an easy task (Anat&Physio, Organic Chem, Physics… aw hell nooo).
Let yourself cry. Accomplish as much as you can on any given day (which on one day may be absolutely nothing… and that’s ok!). Seriously, breathe. I miss college – cherish it 🙂
Post # 6
LadyH: Wow, that sounds like it would have been crazy to plan on top of taking your bars and all! I do have a good support system, it is just trying to plan from an hour and a half away that is throwing a wrench into it now. Christmas break is coming, so I hope that me and FI can get a lot accomplished then! But everyone is right, school is important and I need to go hard now that I am in the home stretch. Thank you!
nikkiibee: So you were a science major too?! That is so awesome. I am in microbiology now and it isn’t a joke at all… but that is great advice about accomplishing as much in a given day! And I am trying to enjoy it when I don’t want to pull my hair out, haha. You’re right, all of this science is not a piece of pie, but it will be so worth it in the end! Thanks!
Post # 7
moonpride: Oh girl I completely understand! I have terrible anxiety issues and I am in school as well. The differnce for me is that I am in school for event planning so I enjoy it. I have found that it’s harder to enjoy if you don’t love event planning. My advice: relax. Take it one day at a time. And my biggest advice would be to sign up for something like the knot that has a timeline of when things should be done by so that you have clear goals and you don’t feel all over the place. Just breathe…it will all come together.
Post # 8
DCbee821: Thank you! The timeline idea is very helpful 🙂 I do not any experience planning events at all so that makes sense that I am not enjoying it. I haven’t done it before and more than likely won’t have to again (for myself anyway). Trying to come up with some better coping mechanisms to settle the anxiety now!
Post # 9
I can definitely relate. I am currently in the process of getting my master’s degree in clinical psychology, working two part time jobs, and my wedding is in 3 months!
One of the best things I have done to help curb my anxiety was to make a To Do list for every month. WeddingBee and Wedding Wire are great resources to figure out what you should get done when. Use those to figure out your own wedding timeline. Right now I only have a free day on Saturdays, so at the beginning of every month I look at that month’s to do list and assign 1 or 2 items to each Saturday. This also means I have 0 days off, but checking an item off my to do list every week makes me feel so much calmer and productive.
Have your fiance be responsible for parts of the planning/contacting vendors, etc. If you need to, recruit friends and family to help you, even just by going with you and helping you make choices. Making final decisions can be mentally draining and make you feel like you have more to do than you actually do – have someone help you, send a text to all your close family and friends and have them vote for things you can’t decide on.
Honestly, try to have fun with it even though its stressful. See wedding planning as a much needed study/school break. Don’t be bogged down by what you haven’t done yet – focus on all the wonderful things you’ve already planned and how far youve come – that will give oyu the energy to keep going!
Post # 10
moonpride: I understand intense academic environments “where fun goes to die”
to manage stress, I highly recommend intense cardio every morning (like the kind where you want to throw up & feel floaty after bc endorphines!) for 30 min & gentle yoga + mediation for 20 min at night. That or mood stabilizers when it’s really really overwhelming.
Offload as much as possible — embrace the meal plan if you’re on it, if not, frozen prepped veggies are your friend. Blender soups and smoothies with protein powder are your friends.
Can you offload wedding planning to your mom or a professional planner? I know it’s more $$ but you’re investing so much in your education, you don’t want to shortchange yourself.
Or push back your date. That’s ok too. Just some ideas on how to be less overwhelmed!