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wow. she sounds fun.
sometimes it's nice just to rant. i know it makes me feel better.
That's annoying, but it sounds like it's coming from a place of insecurity. Keep your head up :)
@SapphireSun: I know it has to be something, like jealousy. I can't help that she's manipulative and only saw money bags when she married into the family... Ohhh. Sometimes I just want to scream. Hah. But, I'm not letting it get to me too bad. It's just frusterating.
Hmm, sounds a LOT like my SIL. She is so allergic to pets, but only if she sees them! She ditched my brother's 2 wonderful cats on me cause suddenly (after many years) she was horribly allergic.
Whenever we shave a cat at work (we often do lion-cuts on matted longhaired cats) I am tempted to make her a pillow stuffed with cat fur and see if it even bothers her at all. It makes me smile just to think about it.
Just ignore her, it sounds like most of the family sees her for what she is. I would just laugh and tell her not to sniff the flowers.
My SIL's child once told my that my dogs were shedding hair all over my floor. I replied that she was shedding dead skin cells all over my floor, but that I still let her inside. I don't think she has been to my house since. What a pity.
@edgypeanuts: I laughed so hard at your last paragraph. I agree with you though, the family sees her for her true self. You have nothing to worry about OP. You aren't required to abide by her "rules". Have the beautiful wedding you want!
If you only serve the food she can't eat, have cake with sugar, have all types of flowers except roses and include your pets in the wedding party, does that mean she doesn't get to come?? SWEET!!! Sounds like a better deal to me ;)
Maybe if you plan things just right she and her "darling" children will be just too allergic to your wedding that they won't be able to make it. That would be too bad ;) Actually maybe you want to not have children present at your wedding or reception. Perhaps your venue doesn't have enough room???
Sounds like a great plan if I ever saw one!!! We are definitely on the same wavelength! LOL ;)
@Ms. Meowerson:Haha. I would love to have her children not come to the wedding. All of the other children who will be present are pretty well behaved children, at least, as good as you can expect a toddler to be. But they don't act up in public, and if they do, they get taken out.
That IS a good idea. It would be terrible for her not to come : )
And as far as the Facebook thing goes, she's been VERY limited...
Sorry you're dealing with this!
She sounds really jealous!
I hope you are not doing anything she recommends.
I wouldn't even talk to this woman if I were you, because she is obviously getting on your last nerve.
Man, I hope you're not following her requests! What a PITA.
Yes, avoid this lady at all costs, if for nothing else but your sanity. And plan your wedding as YOU want it--forget her.
Glad you shared with us... I feel your pain... I have opted for a Vegas wedding, so I am able to avoid FSIL being at the wedding... terrible I know, but I feel it necessary.
Good Luck, and stand your ground !!! ITS YOUR DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are obviously going to have a sugar-laden cake and make sure that all the food you're serving is made with different types of nuts, right? Please say it's so!
And I think it would also be a wonderful gesture to make your wedding pet-friendly. Invite all your friends who have pets (that they feel comfortable taking for an extended day out) to bring an extra guest or five.
I think you should make it so she can't post anything on your page. Also, she's clearly jealous and it's just pathetic how far she's taking it by trying to control every aspect of your wedding. My Gmom did this same thing to me and I just smiled and nodded and continued with the plans I already made, none of which conformed to her rules.
I think it is best if you do your best ot not only limit her acess to your facebook page but to your wedding planning as well. It sounds like she is dealing with some stuff of her own. I would also ask the caterer if they could just do a different entree for her if she is really that concerned. She might just want some extra attention right now (it seems like it to me) and if she thinks you have gone out of your way for her (to get a special meal or something) she might back down. She might also be so wrapped up in herself that will have no affect but if you want to try something that might help, it would be worht a shot. :)
Don’t make any changes to what you want for your wedding because of this wack job. Take what she has asked and roll with it…
- Candy bar for the children with one bowl of sugar free candy due to her children not being able to have sugar. If they wouldn’t freak out I would serve them crackers while everyone is having cake so they don’t have a lot of sugar but they sound like they would cause a scene.
- Ask her what foods she is not allergic to and get the crappiest thing off the list and have them serve her that as her dinner while everyone else is enjoying the delicious meal you planned.
- Have her seated in the back away from the smelly flowers. Don’t forget to put a couple of roses on there since she is not allergic to them.
Since you have taken all of her instructions into consideration I think you will come out on top of the who is better competition she has going on in her head.
Have a candy bar at your wedding. And candy favors. Make sure you get a double chocolate cake with sugar flowers. Have HUGE centerpieces with all sorts of tropical flowers on every table. Make sure and attach them to every row of chairs at the ceremony, too. Block her from facebook.
My work here is done.
You could always slip a bag of nuts in her bouquet! LOLOL
****Please don't do that for real... just a comment to lighten the mood.***
My SIL's child once told my that my dogs were shedding hair all over my floor. I replied that she was shedding dead skin cells all over my floor, but that I still let her inside. I don't think she has been to my house since. What a pity.
You're totally my new hero.
aw HELL no!!! If you accomodate this PITA, the terrorists have won!
(I haven't read the comments, sorry...)
Why don't you order the most sugary wedding cake and...... "uh-oh, I can't believe the caterer put sugar in the cake???? ohhh i'm SOOOO Upset, i'm so sorry you won't be able to have any of the cake, SIL!"
"I also can't believe the florist got all the flowers wrong :(!!! I specifically said ONLY ROSES! and wait, what's my dog doing here??? who unleashed him????"
;)
hilarious!! I'm with the screw being the "better" person and trying to accomodate this nut case. I'd do everything in my power to tick her off and just have myself a good laugh! And maybe be little accomodating with an extra special diet dinner that she could eat, just cause food and nut allergies can be serious and we wouldnt want her making some crazy scene and saying how you tried to kill her with food at your wedding, which from the sounds of it, I could just see happening.
I have to agree with the previous posters. Definitely kill her with kindness.
Kindness = cake with sugar, non-rose floral centerpieces, candy buffet, and make sure you spend at least 5 minutes cuddling with your dog after you get dressed for the wedding....LOL
If you want to be a very nice person, you can see if she is allergic to the vegetarian option. The caterer would probably be able to take out any nuts/ingredients she is allergic to in the veggie option for her (extra bonus - her special meal will likely be bland and terrible). If she can't eat sugar, then she should be used to skipping cake. If her children cannot eat sugar, then she should feel free to bring sugar free candies or dessert to give them while the other guests are eating cake. The venue won't care if kids are eating outside food, as long as their meals have already been paid for.
Oh, and while you get a lot of attention for your first child, the whole family isn't exactly going to throw parades for subsequent children - especially if you have demonstrated absolutely no parenting skills and are raising monsters.
Its your day, pay her no mind and do what you are your future hubby want. It seems like shes being snarky to her own insecurities like others have said. :)
happy planning
I've been thinking about this (slow day today) who in their right mind demands a bride order her wedding cake a specific way because of her kids?? I can't believe there are actually people like this in the world!!!!!
Haha. I have really enjoyed reading all of your comments. It's made the day much brighter. I've been avoiding her lately, and it seems to be working. And don't worry girls. I'm not going to cater to her. I have 60 other people to worry about, and come on, it IS my wedding. I've taken into consideration all the things that might kill her, and I've spoken with FIL's to make sure of what she IS actually allergic to so I don't feed it to her.
She's driving me bonkers, but at the same time, it's quite comical to hear her talk.
She is jealous. That's apparent to everyone involved in the wedding. Like I said, no one really cares much for her, and she's mad that she's not the center of attention.
It'll all work out : )
:) glad I can lighten things up. As an aside, you're getting married on my birthday! It's only right, then, that as your gift to me you poke this ridiculous excuse for a woman with a stick the entire day and night by making sure everything she hates is provided in abundance.
This is really pathetic, considering your FSIL must be a grown woman to have children. Despite that fact, she herself is acting like a child.
Unfortunately, she comes with the family. So honestly, I'd avoid her when possible and remain civil when you have to see her/talk to her. But I'd disregard all of her wedding "input." It's not her day, after all.
She's 24. And her marriage to FH brother is her second one. She is, by age, grown, but she doesn't act like it at all. Her parents have paid for everything, through her first marriage and now this one, because she's drained FH's brother's pockets... So she has a certain sense of entitlement...
no offense but she sounds loopy.. and she just wants to feel important by making weird requests so she can later boast that you made those decisions around her needs. I say just nod along when she talks [just to keep the peace] but completely ignore her when it comes to actualy decision making... choose whatever flowes you want and whatever cake you want.. how dare she ask you to make your entire cake sugar free just so her kids can have some.. how much cake can kids eat anyway? thats the silliest thing i've ever heard
Ugh.. Sister in laws can be soo annoying sometimes.. my FSIL has crossed the line soo many times.. I hope you dont cater to her.. Please dont limit yourself to what she says you can only have.. it's YOUR wedding.. I agree with the other bees,, get the most sugary cake.. get flowers that arent roses, and tell her to wear a surgical mask if it bothers her.
as someone with actual food allergies, I would never demand someone change everything just so I can have a piece of their cake! Seriously, cake is not essential to me and I would never get upset if I couldnt eat it!
Just ignore her I say... who needs that drama in your life!
oh my word. I completely agree with everyone else. This is pathetic and I am really glad that you and everyone else in your family can just see what's really going on and ignore it.... along with half of her allergies.
You could always suddenly develop terrible amnesia... "oh... so sorry FSIL... I totally forgot you are allergic to any non-rose flowers and my ring-bearer dog and the cake... and the whole wedding, actually. Can someone get you and all of your children home before you go into anaphalactic shock?" :)
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Ok Bees,
I need to rant
My future sister in law has been giving me a headache since FH and I got engaged.
First, she ever so kindly reminds me, on a daily basis, that she's severely allergic to almost every food we've planned on serving and that my wedding cake needs to be sugar free so her children can eat some. (I dislike her children. They are SO horribly behaved. The last family event we went to, her son knocked out my future MIL's bedroom window and all she did was laugh and day how strong he was..)
She also told me that I should not be around my dog or my cat the day of the wedding, since she and her son are allergic to dander...
She's even telling me that I should only have roses, since roses are the only flowers that she can handle the smell of without being in a sneezing fit.
Then, two days ago, she announces she's pregnant. She then tells me that now no onw will be interested in my wedding because she's going to have a baby and now she'll be the favorite daughter in law. I wasn't aware we were in a competition, and I highly doubt that anyone, other than her, is excited about her being pregnant.
She stalks me on my Facebook ladies, making snippy comments about anything anyone asks me that just so happens to be wedding related.
The funny thing is, that she's not allergic to, or bothered by half the things she says she is. I know for a fact that they have a cat. She had daisies and other flowers at her wedding and never sneezed. When I confronted her about all of this yesterday morning, she had miraculously been cured of these allergies... Now, I kno she is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts...
I seriously think she's just mad because my FIL's approve of me and FH getting married are helping with the wedding more readily than they were when she married FH's brother...
I don't know what to think, but she's driving me crazy... I'm sorry I had to get that off my chest, and I know I could be just stressed and paranoid, but goodness...