Post # 1
My Future Sister-In-Law has been giving me some problems & I’ve been anxious about everything. I knew that if I was going to have any problems with any of the girls, it would be this one. I was so excited to have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She’s a lot of fun & we’ll do things once in a while. She recently announced that she’s preggo & due 2 weeks before the wedding. I was so happy & didn’t go bridezilla, because I truly am happy. Recently, she’s been making comments about my dress decision, and it’s making me guilty, even though I shouldn’t be.
I originally was going to have them choose anything, then gave them a really long list. 4 of the girls went in to look (1 is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and I’m basically letting her do whatever-she’s in a different color), and tried on one dress because it was in the fuchsia. The 3 of them said they would get that one if it was on the list. Bridesmaid or Best Man #5 wasn’t able to go in, but has always expressed that she’ll do whatever I want. Bridesmaid or Best Man #6/FSIL NEVER went in to look, never expressed interest in much, never replied to e-mails when I’ve asked opinions on dresses, and never made time to go to the bridal shop to try on any, because they had been trying to have a baby. Maid/Matron of Honor and I decided that the 5 BMs should wear the one dress that everyone liked (I have them choosing between that one and a very similar one).
FSIL/BM has recently been saying that I should let everyone choose their own. Um, the would all choose the 1 dress! She keeps saying, well, I let everyone choose theirs. I basically told her what I wrote above. They all wanted it, so I just chose to do it. It wasn’t my plan, but that’s how it went. The 2 best parts: 1: I’m giving her tons of options because she’s preggo, and she can’t wear the dress again anyways easily. 2: when I did a project in HS, she told me not to let anyone tell me what to do. I’m assuming she just meant having Future Mother-In-Law tell me what to do, because now that affects my Future Sister-In-Law, it’s a problem.
She really just likes to be the center of attention & it’s annoying. My new biggest fear is that the wedding is going to be about the baby, not us.
UGHHHH!! Thanks for letting me vent!!
Post # 3
Well, you could always excuse her. But if not, tell Fiance how you feel and see if he can talk to her.
Post # 4
Oh no! She is obviously being difficult but she may just not realize it. She was consumed with trying to have a baby and now that she is having a baby she will probably just continue along that path. That totally stinks but don’t let it upset you. That’s how a LOT of women are. And I’ve noticed that a lot of them have no idea The dress that the girls chose, is it impossible for someone who just had a baby to wear? In the end, I’d just tell her she has to wear SOMETHING and leave it alone!
Post # 5
I don’t want to kick her out. I really want her there. Oh, and it’s my FI’s SIL (his brother’s wife).
I even sent her 2 e-mails on dresses & said I’m really trying to be flexible. She hasn’t written back to one. It’s been like 2 days! I want to talk to her and just mention it, but next time I see her we’ll be going to Cincy for a family party. Don’t want to completely let it all out there! I do want to find out what’s going on though.
Post # 6
@jennifer-the one’s I picked out don’t have a maternity option. The one I like-the regular ones make everyone else look pregnant or really big, and I don’t want to do that to my girls! I’ve been tempted to tell her she can wear anything she wants as a guest lol.
Post # 7
I’m not sure why she isn’t able to go dress shopping or reply to emails just because they were trying to get preggers, and that would really annoy me.
But I can see why she might be upset or not taking it well. It seems to me that she doesn’t want to steal your attention and be the only one wearing a different dress- she wants to blend in, not stick out.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Um, why would trying to get pregnant keep you from going dress shopping? I mean… they can’t be CONSTANTLY trying to get pregnant. They’d end up in the hospital. 😉
Post # 9
I can understand that it’s difficult. You were willing to have them pick different (but similar) dresses. Since they all basically want the same dress, you kind of have to say “get the same dress”. Otherwise it’s seems weird to have 3 Bms in the same dress, and one in something different.
But if the dress that was picked doesn’t have a maternity option, what can she do? Can she find something similar that will work for her, and have it adjusted in some way to look like the others? I suppose she could get a larger size, but sometimes they don’t alter that well.
Can you post a pic of the dress? Before I made any concrete decisions, I would talk to the gals at the dress shop to see what can be done about a prego Bridesmaid or Best Man and the dress selection. Good luck.
Oh, and if she will be due two weeks before the wedding, that is cutting it awfully close. I wouldn’t be surprised if she just can’t make it. Sometimes when you’re that far along you find one or more of the following:
1. you’re on bed rest
2. you feel way too bloated/fat/tired to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man
3. might find it difficult to do all that standing and rushing around
4. might already have had the baby. (due dates naturally have a two week swing on them, meaning the baby could be born two weeks early and still be considered full term, not preemie.)
I’m just not sure if she wants to put all the money and effort into being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and have to bow out at the last minute. FWIW.
Post # 10
She’s pretty set on being able to stand there. My Fiance talked to his brother (her husband) last night and said that I was really trying to be flexible, but I can only go so far. Suddenly, I got an e-mail from her! The ones I picked don’t have a maternity option, but she says she’ll get a 14/16 and get it altered. I’ll just let her do whatever because she’s paying for it.
The dresses the girls can choose from:
http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?style=6129sn -the one most of them liked
The maternity option:
http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?style=7002 -I didn’t want to put them all in this because in the catalog, they had everyone (regular BMs, preggo Bridesmaid or Best Man, JBM) and they all looked pregnant or slightly overweight.
Post # 11
Ugg. I can see why you say the one with the maternity opt. makes everyone look pregnant. but it’s not bad. It also says they are both satin. Have you seen them both in the store? Just from the picture they don’t look like the same material. But if they are, it helps.
I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing to let her have the maternity opt. They are both strapless, and same length. If she gets the dress that the other girls like, only in a larger sise, hopefully altering would work. (That would be the best in my mind.) However, I kind of wonder if a dress that style could really work on a very pregnant gal. Maybe some other bees know. But just the whole gathering on the side thing, has me a little concerned.
Post # 12
Yeah. She’ll just have to try stuff on. I’ve seen them all in stores. They’re all satin.
Post # 13
Her finding a dress would be tricky anyway since she may not even be preggers at wedding time. So She may or may not fit into a maternity dress. If that were the case I would want to be a lot more proactive in looking! Sorry she is being a pain! Hope she really starts getting back to you other than just the one e-mail!