(Closed) Need to vent! Guest adding guest!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Brace yourself hun; you’ll probably have a few more coming your way unfortunately. I really don’t know what it is about guests but they have a tendency to overstep certain boundaries when it comes to these things – esp. not considering the amount of extra time, money and effort it takes to accomodate each guest.

Good luck!

Post # 4
40 posts
  • Wedding: May 2007

@MrsB2beee:  Just curious, how did you word the address of the invite to this family?…Was is ‘Mr. & Mrs. XYZ & Family,’ or ‘Mr. & Mrs. XYZ and Mr. Son,’ or did the son get his own invite?

Post # 6
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

That is very inappropriate. I would personally call her and tell her that this is a formal event and you cannot accommodate guests that were not invited. 

Post # 7
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsB2beee:  Would you feel ok calling the Mrs. and saying that you have a limited number of guests you planned for to keep the reception smaller and more intimate, so unfortunately you would like to keep it to just Mr, Mrs. & son?  If it’s just the fact that it bothers you that she didn’t ask, then I’d hate to say I agree w/ previous post that you will probably have a few more people respond with extras and may want to pick your battles.  However, if it’s budget, capacity or size (smaller/intitmate reception) related, then that’s a different story.

Post # 8
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@MrsB2beee:  there is definitely no room for interpretation in the way you addressed it! I agree with  @brenda.m.fields:  

Post # 9
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

a 16yr boy doesnt need to take a date to a wedding – hes lucky enough to be invited in the first place

Post # 10
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you allow one plus one get ready for more. Guests talk and it wont be long before others follow suit thinking its ok. Call her and let her know your unable to accommadate the girlfriend..

Post # 11
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with PP, a 16 yo does not warrant a wedding date. I offered +1 to all guests OVER 18…there is no reason any one younger needs one, they are still a child technically.

Post # 12
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’ve heard of single guests who are adults adding their own +1 to their RSVP but never parents add one for their 16 year old son. It was gracious of you to include their son! I can’t believe someone would just add a 14 year old girlfriend to an RSVP. Like I’m actually in shock that any parent would think that’s ok. I really think you should call these people and communicate with them about constraints on your guest list and budget and not being able to accommodate an uninvited guest. 

Post # 13
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ya, he’s 16.  He can suck it up for the night.  I would be more worried that this behavior would be allowed and if she spoke to another guests who then felt it was a appropriate to add her own guests too.

Post # 14
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That is rude.  I’m sorry this happened!  I think he would live through the evening without his gf.

Post # 15
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Pearberry:  … assuming she’s still his girlfriend by the time the wedding rolls around!!! When I was a teenager, having the same boyfriend for three or four months was practically MARRIED in high school years!

Post # 16
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Bride7844:  Agreed. Once you let one slide, you will have to similarly accomodate all the others (and there WILL be more). We were stern about our rule because we are almost at our venue’s full capacity – plus ones only for spouses/fiances/live-in partners. Luckily we had no surprise write-ins, but we did have people ask if they could bring Girlfriend. I nicely explained our rule and our size limitations, and people we pretty understanding. I’m sorry but a 16 year old doesn’t need a date for a family event. If he won’t have a good time with his parents, he can stay home. It of course would be different if he didn’t know anyone else there and was going alone, but that’s not the case.

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