(Closed) Need to vent! I thought I was doing them a favor by…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think you’re being extremely reasonable.

Post # 4
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are being 100% reasonable. Keep sticking your ground!

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You are being reasonable.
If I were you, I’d take her shopping and pay for her dress though… Between spending energy arguing or spend 50$ to shut her mouth and be done with it, that’s 50$ well spent. After the wedding, you take the dress back, cause you paid for it, so it’s yours, right?
If the other girls ask, you explain that you didn’t have energy to spend arguing with her so you lent her the dress.

Post # 6
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

You’re definitely being reasonable! Good luck, and keep insisting on purple 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh man, that is so frustrating!  I would look online & send her links to dresses somewhat similiar to the one she chose, but in purple, or offer to shop with her and find her a dress.  Basically prove to her that she can find an affordable dress in purple and what she wants to wear just won’t fly.

Post # 9
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

you are def being more than reasonable… do what i did with 2 of my girls- i just sent them a few pics of dresses EVERY DAY… i would sent $40 dresses to $250 dresses (anything!!!) so that THEY can make the choice and it wouldnt come down on me…   my last girl FINALLY just ordered her $80 dress (that she kept putting off…) so hopefully its good when it comes in!

Post # 10
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

You could do that as her gift.  I had 4 BMs- 2 fine financially, 2 who were not.  I paid for the dresses of the 2 who were not as their gift, and gave the other two a “typical” gift.  Each gift was between that BM and me.

Post # 13
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You may just want to buy her dress and have the grief over with, especially if it’s only $50. Just don’t tell the other girls. I offered to pay for one of my BMs hair/MU as a secret between us since I know she’s on a tight budget. I found it was easier than dealing with the stress of the back and forth of it all. Have you thought about taking her shopping? Maybe instead of emailing dresses, you could set up a shopping day, pick a dress, and when you get to the cash pay for it as a surprise and just say you know things are tight, so this is part of saying thanks. Daily emails could likely get a bit tiresome so it could be that she sees them and just skips it.

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