Need to vent I'm a mess today!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sorry your’e going through this!
It sounds sucky and stressful.

Ugh I’d just elope and say screw it to my parent’s (and in laws) weird drama over my wedding. Because… it’s not their wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@wanabeabee:  I don’t think you need to do a destination wedding or elope-unless you wanted to, but I would start the planning over without involving parents. I would plan the wedding you and your FI can afford and avoid all the stress that comes with those financial strings. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@wanabeabee:  Yeah, I wouldn’t waste energy trying to be fair to everyone if they can’t be fair to us (and forget it – anyone who makes my mom cry is out of my books as a “nice person”… sorry!)

My opinion with parents/family/nosy friends is: our wedding planning is our business, and you need to start learning to keep your nose out of our business.

Anyway, may I recommend Eureka Springs, AK? I’ve never been there, but FI and I had thought about it but we wound up doing a close-to-home big wedding hooplah. It’s cute and kind of fun-looking (treehouse hotels? YES) – I really like the chapel there (gorgeous architecture)

[ETA] Oh and BTW, FI and I are paying for our own wedding, which is how I am easily able to NOT include our families in the planning process.
Think about paying your own way.
It sucks for yoru savings but it’s VERY much worth it for your sanity.

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Well, I suppose it’s their house, and therefore their choice how many people are in it. But, fortunately there’s no law that says you have to have your wedding there. I’d look for inexpensive venues in the area the your ffil doesn’t happen to own

Post # 9
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@wanabeabee:  Sorry you are going through such a situation. The thought of someone making my mom cry breaks my heart, so I feel for you and her. Sometimes, it really is best to pay for your own wedding to avoid these messes. I know exactly how my family is and because FI and I have such an exact vision for our wedding, we decided it was best to do it all ourselves to avoid the drama. 

Also, 36 is a really strange number. Did they give and reasoning for it, knowing that you wanted 50-75?

Post # 11
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@wanabeabee:  oh, he’s totally not being reasonable, no doubt. But unfortunately he doesn’t really have to be if he doesn’t want to

Post # 12
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@wanabeabee:  Well, I really hope that is as far as the drama goes and that you can have your beautiful dream wedding.

Post # 13
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Your FI should be dealing with his parents, not you and your mother. That’s ridiculous.

Post # 14
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@wanabeabee:  Agreed. I’d just elope if I were you. Or can you get a VRBO and do something similar? Maybe a house you and FI rent every year or so for a vacation? Might be nice to have that homey feel, while starting your own traditions. 

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