(Closed) Need to Vent! My Mom could get engaged before me…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think you are getting to overwhelmed.  Nothing has happened yet.  I think he may obide by your mother’s request but if not, you should be happy.  Don’t feel jealous because your time will come.  And you are not trying to steal her thunder, besides she should be all aglow that her daughter is getting engaged!  You wil be fine, everyone is getting engaged and married, so don’t think it will take away from you.  You will have your time.  Just make sure you seperate the days of the wedding.  Now that would be a problem. 

Post # 4
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

Try not to think about it–both proposals will happen as they are supposed to happen.  It’s hard not to be jealous, but if your mom’s BF is surprising her, then she has no say as to when they get engaged.  And I don’t think that you getting engaged would be horrible.  She’s your mom, and she will get her time in the sun and she will be happy for you, no matter what. 

Post # 5
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Your mother’s boyfriend may have no idea about your boyfriend’s intentions to propose to you and when. It’s great that you both have good men in your lives and hers is willing to ask you for permission!

Post # 6
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It seems like you are jumping the gun a little here-nothing has happend on either side of the fence.  If you both get engaged at the same time, well, I think that could be a really fun, unique experience to plan a wedding while your mom is planning hers. It isn’t a competition-it’s about the fact that both of you have great guys you want to spend the rest of your lives with. Don’t forget that.

Post # 8
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh well.  My mom acts like that sometimes too and she and her bf have been together off and on for 9 freakin’ years. 

She said earlier when she thought my engagement was imminent (it is coming..but it didn’t happen in march) that she and her bf might get married too!

I told her “no double weddings”.

I also would have some question as to why after four months marry?  Now I do realize that when we’re older (hell I’ve just turned 40) that we don’t date like when we were in our 20’s for quite a few years before marriage, but four months is imho jumping the gun a bit.  It took me a year or so before I really felt I knew all about T ya know?    

Post # 10
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ugh that so sucks. Well he hasn’t even talked to your mom about the date yet… maybe she won’t like June? I’m not proud to admit it, but if I were you I would probably try a little scheming. Basically, I’d call your mom and start a convo about how you know your man is going to propose soon and you’re so excited and you guys have already decided that you just HAVE to get married in June. She won’t think anything is up because she doesn’t know what her bf is planning, and then when he proposes and says June she will (hopefully) say oops buckwheatis is already getting married then, try again!

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think 4 months is jumping the gun a little, too, and they’re not even having a short engagement! Talk to your mom about it when it happens. I bet she’ll concede to have her wedding in August or something. I’d be hurt if my mom had suddenly decided to do that too. AND i’d be worried about her! Have you voiced your concerns to her? She may not listen, but still….sometimes I literally have to sit my mom down and say “listen…here’s what I think….” and it sinks in eventually. I think it’s a little selfish when it’s your MOM stealing your date, not just a sibling or friend. Do you like her boyfriend? or do you think he’s just being kinda selfish, too?

Post # 13
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@buckwheatis- that’s funny because I feel like the fall is crowded! My idea time to get married would be september/october, but my brother is getting married in August and my FMIL is getting married in October, so it’d be a little squished.

Post # 14
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Why not invite your mom and bf out to dinner and have a friendly discussion about all of this?

It does imho seem a bit rude to take the month you were planning to marry away since you were engaged first and have been for some time and that’s the stance I’d take.

I’m so sorry that you’re going thru this crazy mess.  I really feel your pain!

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah I don’t blame you. Bellenga stated it perfectly–you’ve been with this guy a very long time (muuuch longer than 4 months) and it’s not fair. This is your mom, not a friend or someone who’s other schedules are a no big deal thing. Surely your mom wouldn’t concede to this? I’d be more concenred about my daughter than myself if i were her.

If you want to get married June 19, just stress to them that june 19 is your day and you’d appreciate it if they gav eyou a couple months before THEY ran down the aisle, too.

It’s a pretty inconsiderate thing for this Chris guy to do. Maybe it’s his true colors, eh? only 4 months…sometimes people can hide unsavory sides of themselves…

The topic ‘Need to Vent! My Mom could get engaged before me…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors