Post # 1
Okay, so to keep this short and sweet, in April I picked October 10, 2009 as our wedding date. Being only 6 months away, I figured we would be fine since I simply wanted a little tiny ceremony and a BBQ that our closest friends and family could attend in order to celebrate our marriage. Well, here I am, 3 months to go, and so much left to do. WHY do I have so much left to do? Well, because my little back yard BBQ has turned into a WEDDING! Ugh, so why am I trippin? What’s the problem? Well, we were expecting a good sized check for a job that my BF was working on and the people decided not to pay them because they supposedly did the job wrong. BS! So anyway, we were counting on that to take care of most of our big stuff, you know, like CATERING, TABLES, CHAIRS, LINENS & DECOR. Yeah, nothing major. *sigh*
So I find myself at work, holding back my tears of frustration. I don’t know if we will be able to make this happen due to financial issues. So, I have been thinking of possibly moving the wedding date. No big deal right? People do it all the time. Well, I feel like a failure. Like I set out to accomplish this THING and now it’s out of my hands which makes me feel so defeated. Honestly, I’m a mess inside and I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to show it.
So, my question to you is, how would you decide whether or not to change your wedding date?
Do I move the date out and HOPE that by then we can get our finances situated? What if I find myself in the same position that I’m in now, then what was the purpose of moving the date? THEN, I feel like it’s too late to switch it back to a BBQ AND because it was going to be a BBQ, I was just going to wear a simple pretty dress. Well now, I have an actual wedding dress and I feel like it would be too much for a BBQ. Would it be? I have a trillion things going through my mind every minute of every day.
Bees, what do you think?
Post # 3
Have you and your fiance evaluated your finances? With what you’re bringing in now, can you formulate a plan to save up the amount of money you would need for a wedding you would be happy with? (Not necessarily the most amazing wedding ever or the wedding of your dreams, just a wedding that you would be happy to have.) Then you might adjust your date accordingly, or not.
Also, it sounds like along the way in the planning process your plans got bigger than you intended. There’s nothing wrong in my book with having a backyard BBQ and for you to wear a fancy wedding dress. A good friend of mine had a wedding reception for her friends in the back of a Game Parlor (they have bunches of tables in the back of their store where you can play boards games). She wore her wedding dress the whole time and we had a fabulous time.
It is not a failure to adjust your date! Things like that happen all the time.
If it were me, I would try to keep my date but downsize my plans to my current financial situation. I was most excited about being married and seeing my family and friends. But if it’s really not going to work on your current budget, then I formulate a financial plan and postpone. Good luck to you 🙂
Post # 4
I agree with chelseamorning. I would personally keep my date and downsize everything else. I LOVE backyard BBQ weddings. I find they tend to have more character and personality that your typical cookie-cutter weddings anyway. If you’re really uncomfortable with your fancy dress, you could always wear the dress for pictures before the ceremony, during the ceremony, and then purchase an inexpensive white sundress to wear at the reception. Something like the attached pictures.
Don’t sweat this stuff. You are NOT a failure. As chelseamorning said, these things happen all the time. But under the circumstances, I can totally see why you feel so much pressure. Downsizing everything will probably release some stress, too, and you’ll be able to relax a little and enjoy these next few months leading up to your wedding.
Good luck, whatever you decide!
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Post # 5
I would say it’s fine either way — if you want to change the date and have a traditional wedding, then go for it; if you want to keep it where it is and have a BBQ, do it; if you want to move it and have the BBQ, go ahead! =) There’s nothing wrong with a more formal dress at a BBQ…sure, you’ll stand out, but isn’t that what a bride’s supposed to do?!
Also, I totally understand the frustration that goes with not getting paid for a job. Ugh! Does your fiance have any of the original documentation to compare with the end result, and did the customer sign a waiver? If so, then he may have the legal rights to demand payment.
Post # 6
I REALLY REALLY am sorry you are hurting. BELIEVE ME you feel the same way I ahve felt many many times. This september we are finally getting married on our 4th try. Every time we got a date set and started doing all the plans I got sick and ended up in the hospital and there went our wedding. Oh and we didn’t have a big wedding planned either, but even little weddings can add up to a lot of money. So yes I know the whole feeling like a failure for sure. Now we are down to just the two of us, we just can’t afford the wedding. But I think our greatest regret is not getting married october 6th 2007. I look back now and just with we would have done something small and kept our date. It is suppose to be a day of joy and not of worry and frustration, so do whatever you need to do to make it a day of joy for the both of you:)
But hey don’t feel like a failure it is hard especially today to afford these thing and if youa re like us and have to do everything on your own it is even harder. SOOOO I say do waht you want and if it is the BBQ, Rock that fancy dress:)
Post # 7
Thank you so much for all of your replies. I have to admit they’ve made me feel so much better and not totally alone. There’s nothing worse than feeling alone in a stressful situation. That’s why we come to the hive right?! I’ll have a talk with my BF (I feel weird saying Fiance, which is why I never do, in case you were ever wondering) and see what we come up with.
I certainly don’t want to change our date since I’ve been waiting for it for over 6 years now!!! I will keep everyone updated on the situation and once again, thanks for all of your kind words.