- 6 years ago
Hi bees. I’m a frequent on here, but I went anonymous for this one. I need your advice. I’m a little too embarrassed to talk to my close friends about this, so hopefully discussing it here will help.
I was in a very emotionally abusive past relationship. My ex would degrade me constantly, and always made me feel like I was beneath him. He also used to comment on attractive women in front of me all the time, or he and his friends would talk about ‘hot’ women while I was just standing there. Everytime we’d watch a movie, or TV, and an attractive woman would come on the screen he’d say something about her looks. By the end of our relationship, I could not stand to watch TV with him, see movies, even go out in public with him because of this reason. He also would constantly watch porn, and never want to have sex with me because of it. He ended up leaving me for another woman (go figure).
After this relationship, I went to counseling. However, I do not feel like the counselor was very helpful.
So, my problem now..
I have been with my fiance now for about a year and half. I love him dearly. However, I cannot shake these insecure feelings. Everytime we’re watching TV and an attractive woman comes on the screen I immediately feel uncomfortable. When we’re just sitting and watching TV and even a Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on, I feel like getting up and walking out of the room.
He and his friends are obsessed with WWE Wrestling – and I’m sure you all know that there are ‘WWE Divas’. These women barely wear any clothes, they run around the ring half naked. Anyway, every time I think about those Divas coming on the screen – my stomach turns.
(Side note: My FI has never done anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. These are all insecure feelings that stem from my past relationship)
Ugh. I just don’t know what to do. He has no idea about any of this. I keep all of these insecure feelings to myself, because obviously it’s embarrassing.
But what should I do? I do not want to live the rest of my life like this.. obviously it’s no fun. It just makes me so sad, because I was never like this.
Heck, I was in a relationship of 5 years (with my boyfriend, before my last ex). I’d point out cute girls to him. I’d even watch porn with him frequently. Nothing bothered me. Now, the thought of my FI even watching porn makes me sick to my stomach.
Ugh, I hate my ex for doing this to me.
I just don’t know what to do. Do you think going back to counseling could help?