(Closed) Need your advice – Wedding invite etiquette

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Together with their parents
request the honor of your presence

Post # 4
624 posts
Busy bee

I would do what angela suggested, ‘Together with their parents”.  It gives people credit where it is deserved but doesn’t leave anyone out.

Post # 5
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Together with their parents completely agreed

Post # 6
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Together with their parents flows well!

Post # 8
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Actually, those offbeatbride.com wordings do make me … well, gag, anyway. Unless the bride and groom are trying to show that they are more joyously laughing and loving than the next couple; all those over-flowery “joyous hearts” and “living, laughing, dreaming, loving” goes without saying at a wedding. I can assume that. What I need to know is, do I need to wear silk and pearls or a cotton expedition skirt; should I have dinner before I come or will there be a meal; who’s getting married so I can figure out where to send the wedding present; and who’s hosting so I know where to send my thank-you note after the party and who to mention things to if I see the hotel’s busboy trying to make out with the junior bridesmaid in the coatroom.

And hosting is NOT all about who’s paying. It’s about who’s taking responsibility for looking after the guests’ comfort during the party. The paying stuff should all go on behind the scenes so that we guests don’t have to be exposed to the vulgarity of public money discussions.

Anyway, the most traditional wording in a situation where the bride has no relative to step up and act as hostess is:

Miss Bride’s name
requests the honour of your presence
at her wedding to
Mr Groom’s name

(that’s because traditionally a man and woman who weren’t married to each other weren’t supposed to co-host things; and because if they were both independent adults people knew who they were in the community without mentioning their parents)

The modern equivalent that allows the bride and groom to co-host and acknowledges that mobility has left people so spread-out across the globe that people might NOT know who you are if you don’t mention parents is:

(Ms or Miss, if you are being formal) Bride’s name
Daughter of Mr and Mrs Bride’s parents
(Mr) Groom’s name
Son of Mr and Mrs Groom’s parents
request the honour of your presence at their wedding …

Post # 9
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Try to include mention of parents, but don’t start with bride’s parents request…that makes it sound as though they are paying for/hosting.

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