Post # 1
I am new to this forum but have been reading alot of posts previously. I have a small dilema about my engagement ring.
I have been dating my FI for 10 years (since high school) and recently he proposed to me. We are not in a rush to have a wedding, I am thinking of waiting another 2.5-3 years before I finish my grad school.
We have been shopping for years and looking at pictures together for almost a year and therefore he knew exacatly what I wanted. A solitaire stone with a thin band.
Throughout the whole year, I have been telling him how much I would love to have a 1.5 carat diamond ring. I wanted something that would “stand out” on my hand and that I won’t need to upgrade it in the future.
I thought it was the perfect size for my finger and just made me really happy.
I got a 1.26 instead, which is beautiful, but it wasn’t what I had “envisioned” or dreamed of getting. He said it could of been possible to get bigger, but he didn’t see the need to spend extra $ for a 0.4mm difference in size. ( I have small finger size)
I don’t want to sound materialistic (I dont wear fancy brands or any other kind of jewlery). This was my only piece of jewlery that I could of pictured myself wearing for the rest of my life and I want to be 100% happy with. I didn’t want to ‘upgrade’ diamonds down the road.
I know if I tell him it would crush him and he would be upset. He might think it’s not worth spending that money. I don’t know if I should offer to pay for the difference ?
Bees, how would you handle this situation ?
Is it really not worth all this hassle or should I tell him something? Now? Later?
Post # 3
I hope you have a tough skin. Threads like these tend to go downhill quickly.
My advice: Try to live with it for a bit. Most grow to love their rings. You got the ring of your dreams with the exception a .24 ct. For all you know he decideed to splurge on quality instead of size.
Post # 5
Normally I’d say tell him your feelings on the ring, however in this case you really need to let it go. The difference in size is so small and really not noticeable. The hurt it would cause him is not worth it in this case.
Post # 7
I agree with @MASPA. I personally did not want to pick out my ring, so therefore, it wasn’t the EXACT thing that I envisioned. But my FH went for quality in all of the stones and the band, which means that my (and I’m sure YOUR) ring will still look amazing in the future, while other girls I know who have huge rocks that are tarnishing, or you can see the glaring imperfections in them.
In the grand scheme of things, be happy that you are engaged to your soulmate and can now plan you dream wedding. I am confident that you will soon forget all about this and will love your ring as much as your FH did/does. =c )
Post # 8
So, quick question…did you know the size of the diamond before or after you saw it on your finger? I’m just wondering if you were able to notice a size difference before he told you.
Your ring still sounds very beautiful! I will say that your FI is right…it is amazing the difference in diamond costs for that little of a size difference. Also, the price can change dramatically when you also factor in the color and clarity of the diamond. Looking at a website, there were two diamonds that were around the sizes you mentioned (.3 difference in size), but because of the clarity, there was a $1,000 difference in price. The bigger one was slightly more expensive, but the smaller diamond has a near-perfect color and clarity. Just something else to think about :-).
Post # 9
Think about it this way: After 10 years together you boyfriend finally bought you a beautiful ring and asked you to marry him. Is less tha a quarter carat of a diamond worth ruining a 10 year relationship? Are you more interested in your dream man or a dream ring?
Post # 10
Keep it, learn to love it, and if you want it bigger in the future you can upgrade. I think that is absoultely the best way to handle this.
Post # 11
I don’t think it will be THAT big of difference and it will definitely hurt your FI’s feelings so I would let it slide. I think you are just stuck on the # 1.5ct. which is understandable cause you’ve had that size in your head forever! If you compared a 1.26 and 1.5 size in a store I doubt you would be blown away by the difference. If it’s a big deal to you, maybe you can just tell people it’s a 1.5???
Post # 12
I think we’re very similar, been with fiance 8 years since hs and I envisioned something very particular the same way. We looked around together and he knew the style and size I wanted without being unrealistic. My opinion is that you guys are going to be married and have already been together so long that you can really just be honest with one another and should just tell him your feelings in a sensitive way. I don’t think you should have to look at your ring and resent it in any way. The ring is just a symbol and something YOU will wear forever and should absolutely love in every way. The size difference is very small and won’t look much bigger but I understand being particular as I am too and maybe not everyone else will understand or agree but maybe be gentle telling him. I wouldn’t say you’ll pay the difference but just say we can save up to upgrade (as long as there’s not a short time limit to bring it back).
Post # 13
I loved my ring for the first week I had it, hated it for two months after that, and now I love it so much that I get upset I can’t wear it at work. Sometimes you have to ‘grow’ into it with your attitude and feelings, not your body.
I didn’t even realize how much it meant to me until I though I’d lost it. Couldn’t find it for two weeks and I was just beside myself! Now it’s almost never out of my sight 🙂
Post # 14
I agree with what Lily of the Valley said, there’s not a whole lot of difference in size if you put them side by side. There’s also a HUGE price increase with every half carat, so it’s generally a better buy to get one slightly more or less than those half sizes. They try to get you to buy a bigger size stone that’s not as high quality as a slightly smaller stone of lesser value (but better quality!). I wanted a big stone too but after price/quality comparing on blue nile, I realized it wasn’t worth it!
Post # 15
Carat size isn’t the make or break it of a ring. He probably opted for better cut and clarity which will make it sparkle more and look bigger. Give it a few months to see if ou still care about it.
Post # 16
Being that the only thing that didn’t work out was the size, I think its something that you deal with after a bit. Good thing about this is, if you don’t, you can always upgrade. However, in the grand scheme of things when it comes to seeing how much $$$ everything else is in the wedding…upgrading your ring will start to take a backseat.
My FI knew what I had wanted…Rectangular Radiant 1.5 Carat with a micro pave setting in platinum. FI purchased a Rectangular Radiant with 2 Princess Cut side stones on a white gold band. VERY DIFFERENT. While yes I was over the moon with the fact that after 7 years of being together we were engaged, I was upset with the ring and after a few weeks I told him I wanted to get the setting we had discussed…it hurt that he knew I wanted that ring so badly and decided against it bc he thought this one looked more “like me”, meanwhile I never pictured “me” with a 3 stone ring.
If I hadn’t put any input in the ring I wanted, I probably wouldn’t have said anything, but since it was talked about before purchasing the ring I brought it up. It did hurt him a little bit, but I was also hurt so I figured it was worth telling him. He wasn’t offended by it and understood. HOWEVER…We spoke about getting the ring done in a new setting, but as we got deeper into planning…we realized with planning a wedding and trying to buy a home…it just wasn’t worth it. I’ve come to love my ring now and I do like how mine is different with the side stones…sometimes I also think he knows me better then I know myself and maybe the 3 stone ring really was “more like me”
Good luck 🙂