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My husband and I did this. It gave us time to be alone before the wedding (you will not have free time to be together afterward) and the walk down the aisle was still so special. All I saw was him and I couldn't even hear the music because my heart was pounding so fast.
The first look is becoming more common with couples. However, I am also of the opinion that I want to be walking down the aisle when my FI first sees me on our wedding day. At the end of the day, you are paying your photographer and if you don't want to do the first look photos, then you don't have to. Explain what you want and have that as part of your agreement.
I think it is a very good idea and we will be doing first look and prewedding shots when we are both fresh and not so tired. I know it will still be special when I walk up the aisle.
We are doing a first look, and all of our bridal party pics before the ceremony. My dad thought we would "ruin the aisle moment" but we don't think it is such a big deal, and our priority was getting the best pictures. The only pics we will take during cocktail hour are the family pictures (and we have only allotted 30 mins for them). I want to look the best I can in the pictures, and I think that doing them before the ceremony will ensure my hair and makeup look their best. Plus once we spend that couple hours together we will be more relaxed during the actual ceremony!
There "are" advantages, however, you don't HAVE to do that!
When a couple doesn't want to do a first look, usually we do bride with bridesmaids and then groom with groomsmen before the wedding.Then, we just have "family formal" shots, entire bridal party, and bride and groom.
Your photographer should be able to work with whatever YOU want to do. First looks have only started becoming 'popular' within the past 1-1.5 years. Cocktail hours and other things have been the timeline for generations ;-)
Do what you and your FI want to do.
We are also taking some pics before the ceremony but that's because we don't mind doing first look ahead of time and also it is more important to us to spend more time with our guests during the cocktail hour (hopefully!)....BUT if you really feel strongly that you want him to see you first when you walk down the aisle, stick to that and just let your photographer know that's how you want it. I've noticed a lot of photographers try to gently encourage taking pics beforehand because it makes their job a little easier, of course, and you can get more pics BUT the bottom line is that you need to do what you want...it's your day! :)
I've always wanted to do a first look because I want awesome pictures and if I am paying a couple of thousand for a photographer I want my money's worth! I don't want to have to rush through pictures, look a mess after the ceremony, or make my guests wait to eat dinner. Also, in Jewish culture the bride and groom always see each other before the ceremony for the signing of the Ketubah and the unveling.
However, I don't think you should do one if you don't want to. You shouldn't let someone else pressure you into a choice you don't want!
PS. I didn't vote in your poll becuase what I would choose is different than what I think is best for you :)
I voted for not doing the before ceremony pics, because it sounds like that is really important to you. It was to me too, so we are not doing a first look. The first time I'll see my FI is when I walk down the aisle, and that is going to be a really special moment for both of us.
That being said, it is becoming very common to do the first look before the wedding, and take pictures beforehand, especially if you have just a short amount of time between the ceremony and reception. I have a gap of 3 hours, so after the receiving line, we have 2 hours to take pics before the reception starts to take photos. I'm not sure how pictures will work if you don't have that gap.
Maybe you can plan on doing any photos that don't involve you seeing your groom (like groom alone, bride alone, bride with her family, groom with his family, girls in the bridal party, boys in the bridal party) beforehand to get those out of the way, then do any photos involving both of you during the cocktail hour?
We are doing it, but you don't HAVE to. I totally understand having your first look as you are walking down the isle. But, your photographer is right, you do get more picture time and you don't have to make your guests wait. I am looking forward to being able to enjoy part of our cocktail hour.
I like you was initially very adament about not wanting my FI to see me until I walked down the aisle. That was the way I'd always pictured it and I thought a first look would spoil "the moment".
The more and more I thought about it though and looked at pictures of other people's first looks compared to post-ceremony, the first look really seems like the best option. You still get that "moment" when your groom sees you for the first time and the walk down the aisle is no less special (and certainly no "dirty little secret"). Despite my initial resistance and opposition to it, I'm now really, really looking forward to do ing my first look pictures.
I'd really give it some more thought if I were you and look at pictures from weddings done both ways (you get a lot more pictures it seems doing a first look - so much more time and not rushed). You still have a year to decide - don't just count it out yet.
Yeah I am just a little confused I guess...... We are only having an hour long cocktail hour. I had mentioned to the photographer that maybe we could do all the pics of us with our families before and then do the group and us pics during the cocktail hour but he is really pushing for the before ceremony pics... I am so confused.
We did this too. We took photos for THREE hours before the ceremony. Our firtst look was the only alone time we had all day, and it was intensely sepcial for us. Plus we got to enjoy the cocktail hour and all its awesome food and drink with the guests and werent rushed at all. It was a huge plus for us, but you have to decide if you want to see each other before the ceremony.
What about the photo of your groom's face when you walk down the aisle? They cant capture it now...
I just wanted to add that I think part of this depends on how your timeline for the day will work. Mine is rough right now, but probably ceremony at 1pm, with cocktails not starting until 5pm. That way there will be plenty of time between the end of the ceremony (and receiving line at the church) to get photos done before we have cocktails. We are guessing at this point in time that we will have at least 2.5 hours to do all the photos and get to the reception.
Edit - I agree about the grooms face the first time he sees you at the aisle! But there are ways to capture that expression when couples opt to do the first look. I think you feel strongly enough about this that you should NOT do a first look. That is what you really want so just talk to your photographer about it! :)
We still had special looks on our faces walking down the aisle (and we did get a picture of when he first saw me at the first look too).
We had time to go to a different location before the wedding and take 2 hours worth of pictures. We still didn't have time to participate in our cocktail hour after getting family and group shots and the receiving line.
I think it's important to go with what you want. I know most photographers prefer to do a First Look and mine is no different, but instead we are taking pictures with the bridal party and some fun pictures and then doing family and pictures together immediately after the ceremony. If you want to wait, then tell your photog that you would like to wait.
We are doing a "first look", but if you are dead set against it, tell your photog that you don't want to.
Personally, I never wanted to not see each other before walking down the aisle. But the real issue here is that your photographer doesn't seem to be willing to work with what you want. S/he shouldn't be pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, even if there are advantages.
I have a very strong opinion on this. I want the first time my fi to see me is when I'm walking down the aisle with my dad. As far as the pictures are concerned - you are the one paying the photographer to do what YOU want to do. If he doesn't do what YOU want, then find a new photographer. I also believe that pictures during the cocktail-hour are ideal. If you have the pictures pre-ceremony - you will be getting your picture taken as boyfriend/girlfriend/fiances. I want to take the pictures with my FI on our wedding day as HUSBAND AND WIFE! I don't think this is asking too much - and you should tell your photographer to take a hike if he thinks otherwise. He is only thinking of himself and how easy it will be for HIM!
After that strong opinion - do what makes YOU happy. It's your day!!
Don't do anything you don't want to do BUT some advantages are:
Being able to do more pictures without feeling rushed or that you're missing out on anything.
Being able to spend some time "alone" with your FI before the rush of the day starts. Might calm some jitters and be fun.
I agree with the posters who've said that you shouldn't be pressured by your photographer into doing anything you don't want to do! I think a lot of people have made good points about the usefulness of the 'first look', and you should definitely take it into consideration and mull it over with your fiancé to decide if it's right for you guys. But there is NOTHING wrong with forgoing this recent invention if you feel strongly that you want to see each other on your wedding day as you walk down the aisle! I think vtbride2010 also made a good point, that first look pictures technically aren't yet of you and your husband, which may or may not matter to you.
Personally? I absolutely do not want to have a first look and while I see the validity of the points others have made about it pros, the big con for me is that I imagine there being something especially magical about FI seeing me for the first time in my big white dress in one of the most beautiful and traditional aspects of a wedding. Yes, it can still be special if you guys saw each other earlier, but to me it would not be the same. I want him to be stunned as he sees me walk down the aisle all prettied up in an outfit unlike anything I'll ever wear again, immediately before we go through the beautiful ceremony we wrote ourselves, only looking at each other despite the fact that so many other people are watching us. Maybe I'm romanticizing what it'll be like a bit too much, but it just seems like a really beautiful and powerful moment, and for us, doing a first look would sort of undercut its power.
We plan on doing this, it is pretty traditional for Jewish weddings for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony to sign the Ketubah. It will also give us a moment to ourselves, give me a chance to settle my emotions (lol), give us more time for pictures, and more time to spend with our friends and family.
They still capturedmy grooms face as I was walking down the aisle, but they also captured it during the first look. I should reiterate that w had no preference to when we'd first see eachother that day. We spen the night prior together, we had breakfast together that day, then we separated at like 9 and got back together at 3 for the first look. That was how WE wanted it, not our photographer. Dont be pressured if you are really not into it, but we just saw so many more benefits to it. And I PROMISE you, nothing takes away from that special moment when he sees you walking down the aisle towards him. You're walking to him to be his wife. That, regardless of how much of you he has sen that day, is immensely special
We're not doing a first look. My FH is adamently against it. We have a huge church with grand doors, and I can't wait for them to be opened. However, we are doing family photos with me first, so that we can get them out of the way. We'll knock out at least 1/3 of the formal shots before the ceremony even begins. It's a good compromise for the traditional minded with modern photographers :)
We are doing a first look and given our timeline, it was really necessary to do one. Our ceremony is at 5:30 and our reception starts immediately afterwards in the same location. We will be taking pictures before the ceremony of ourselves and with our bridal party, parents and grandparents.
Don't do anything that you don't want to do, but I do think a first look is something to consider if you do not have much time between your ceremony and reception.
Also, my photographer will be able to capture my FI's face when I walk down the aisle all the same. Even though we will have already seen one another, I know that we will both be emotional when I come down the aisle!
Do what you want. It's your and your FH's day. Have you talked this over with him?
Remember, you are paying the photog - if he or she pressures you, then get someone else. Life is just too short and if this is important to you, no need to feel anxious about your decision.
Have a wonderful wedding and God bless you both.
if you're not comfortable don't feel pressure, you are paying her not the other way around. Thats not fair of her. Personally I completely agree with the new trend of first looks, as it makes more logistical sense, but this about you and your FI.
If you are dead set again seeing each other, I think you should say that. We ended taking our pictures first, and I was very glad we did. I really enjoyed the extra time during the cocktail hour with everyone. I also felt much more relaxed to walk down the aisle too. Our ceremony didn't start unti 6:30 though so we would have run out of sunlight to take all our pictures affter the ceremony. Just remember, you are paying the photographer and it's YOUR day!!!
Do what you feel you want to do, but I absolutely love the idea of the first showing being as you walk down the aisle.
I believe in sticking to your guns and doing what is important to you.
We had a really tight timeline and it would have been more practical to see each other before hand and take extra pictures but we really didn't want to see each other before the ceremony. I guess we are traditional and sentimental.
If youre someone who really doesn't care about seeing each other before hand then yes I agree its probably more practical.
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My photographer wants my fiance and I to take pictures BEFORE our wedding. He said it is better because the cocktail hour is not long enough and that way we can have alot of pictures. He also said its better because my hair and makeup and flowers are fresh. I dont know what to do. I understand his points but I believe that your groom should see you when you first walk down that aisle... Thats how I want it. Otherwise I feel like im walking down the aisle and its not a big deal to him and its like I know a dirty little secret (that hes already seen me). Please give me your honest opinions on this. And is this common?