needed to vent – thanks

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think that offering so many times to help out with the setting and bringing it up is probably deterring him from going any further. You’re taking his job away, as the man and the person who’s supposed to propose, by offering to do it for him. (**I do understand that nowadays couples pick rings out together, and women can propose to men, but those are all very specific situations, and in this case, he hasn’t taken you up on that offer, so he may not fall under that specific situation**)

The more you bring it up and ask, the more you will feel bad and you will get into fights. 

Let the situation breathe a little and give him and yourself a break! Enjoy your relationship. Go back to the reasons you love him. When he feels comfortable, he’ll do it. And if everything is great and he still doesn’t, deal with the situation then.


Good luck and cheer up!! 🙂

Post # 4
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@lilmochi:  I know that this is hard right now.  You’re SO says he wants to marry you, has got the stone, and has taken steps to getting you an engagment ring.  This is what you need to focus on 🙂  This is GREAT news!  He just made a lot of strides in taking the next steps and congrats on that 🙂

Men want to be the ones in most cases to deal with this situation.  I know that it can seem offesive that your BF tells you that you’ve caused your own wait.  I mean, you’ve been in a 9 year relationship, I’d assume you to be a grown woman, not a child who gets punished for saying something about marriage UGH!  If I were you, I’d take what he is saying at face value and DROP it!!  Join the shut it up pact, come here and let our your frustrations until you can let it go, that’s what I did and I’m better for it.

I’d accept that it’s probably not going to happen on your anniversary.  Just don’t plan for it, don’t expect it, don’t look for it.  Then, you can have a nice anniversary and the two of you can just enjoy each other.  

Another way I think of it, and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, is I prefer to not talk about waiting in a bad way anymore (example, ‘why won’t you marry me’ ‘when is it going to happen’ ‘whats taking so long’ ‘have you changed your mind’) and instead keep it positive (example, ‘when we get married’ ‘i’m going to start saving for our wedding’ ‘i’m happy for our friends settling down, isn’t that awesome’) and that is IF you have to break the siu pact.  At least this way, you come across as a more confident woman instead of a whining complainer.  Hang in there bee and good luck!!










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