Needing a little advice…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Returning to comment….

Given the the circumstances,  I think you know letting go was the right thing to do.  It is better to be alone now & find someone,  than to be miserable and end it after many more years. 24 is not too old at all.

Post # 3
588 posts
Busy bee

Needingsomehelpxo:  You’re only 23 – you’ve got plenty of time to meet “the one”.

One of my best friends had a serious boyfriend – they lived together – from ages 19-23 and then they broke up (he was keeping all sorts of insane secrets about his past from her and had become really manipulative). She was devestated, obviouly, but given who he had become/secretly always been, it was a really good thing.

The year post breakup, she went on lots of dates to get ‘back out there’ (she tried online dating). Most of those were total duds, but one was not. Long story short, she was married to the new guy by 27. 

Another friend didn’t meet “the one” until she was 30 and another friend until she was 36. 

Any relationship that you are miserable in is definitely not “the one”. You did the right thing. You guys have been split for a year, so getting back out there and meeting new people might be just the thing for you to move on.

Post # 4
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Needingsomehelpxo:  Oh my gosh, you are SO young! I didn’t meet my future husband until I was 27, and we’ll be married when I’m 30. You have so much time to meet the right person.

As Dan Savage always says, “every relationship you are ever in will fail…until one doesn’t.” Learn from your relationship with your ex, dedicate yourself to being the best person you can be, and you will meet the love of your life. It’ll definitely take a few tries, but you’ll find him.

Post # 5
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh honey.  You’re so young.  I didn’t meet my guy til I was 37, married at 38!!!  You never know when it will happen, but better to be single than married to the wrong guy.

Post # 6
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a friend in a similar position as you and I keep giving her the tough love of “You’re young. You have all the time in the world to meet the one. Enjoy being with yourself! Love can’t be rushed. It happens differently for everyone.” And so on. And while it’s all true, I can’t fully understand and sympathize because I lucked out. I met my husband when I was 23 and we spent 5 wonderful years together before getting married at 28. I know it all takes time but these days people are getting married later in life and it’s not a bad thing. You want to be sure. 100% sure that he is the one. A lifelong commitment together should never be rushed so you should take your time.

Love doesn’t have a time limit and it happens differently for everyone.

All I can say is have patience and enjoy being single. Get out there and have a good time. Get to know yourself and what you want in a relationship so that when he does come along you’ll recognize him 🙂

Keep your head up.  

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  MxH13.
Post # 7
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Needingsomehelpxo:  i had two boyfriends prior to my soon to be fiance, my two previous relationships were a 7 month with the first bf and 2 yrs of off and on terrible relationship that my older wiser self would have never allowed! My fiance( i suppose i can say that since we are just waiting for my custom ring to be completed so he can propose) i met when i totally was not expecting to meet anyone after three yrs of being single at 29, he is the best thing that ever happened to me so be patient and stop looking they appear when you least expect it! Enjoy “me” time and work on being your best self so that when you finally meet him he is not there to complete you but there to share a life with you! 

Post # 8
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You’re super young, and 12 months is not a long time to go without finding someone new after an important relationship. Rather than concentrating on finding a new relationship, my advice is to form some more specific goals: advance your career, move to a new city, travel, join this or that club, take this or that art class, say YES whenever people invite you to something (unless it’s the bad drugs my dear). If you do those things, you will eventually meet someone (more likely several someones) new you are attracted to, I PROMISE. And maybe eventually you will meet someone you want to marry, and who wants to marry you. But you will definitely have a richer and more interesting life than if you put all your mental efforts toward just “finding a new longterm relationship” at age 23.

Post # 9
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I met DH, with whom I’ve been for 23 years now, at 26, after 2 failed relationships that really knocked me down.  Even though is hard to keep going after a hurtful breakup, you must do it: devote time to love and pamper yourself, enjoy and take advantage of that alone time, don’t stress on finding someone new, just live one day at a time.  One day you will find love and this obscure time will be a thing of the past.  Many hugs and positive thoughts!!!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Robyn0214.
Post # 12
246 posts
Helper bee

Needingsomehelpxo:  Trust me that a few years down the line (27, 29, 31 and so on), you will look back on this time when you were 24 and realise that what you think are good qualities in a man will change and you will be grateful that you didn’t get married just now because you’ll be looking for more solid qualities in a marriage mate than what you are looking for now.


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