- 4 years ago
Hi Bees! I have another account, but am choosing to “hide” here! And I apologize in advance for the length, but I want to make sure to get everything down.
So for a bit of background on DH and myself, we have been together for five years. We got together in our late teens, and are now in our early twenties, not quite to the 24 age mark.
When we first got together, we were not smart at all about using protection, and had a pregnancy scare around our two month mark of dating, with a false-positive pregnancy test. That scared some sense into us, and I got on birth control, and have been until very recently.
About a year ago (we’ve been married for two and a half years), I brooched the subject of maybe starting a family, and was met with much resistance from my DH. He kept saying “We’re not ready, we’re not ready, we don’t have good paying jobs, etc.” We actually do have decent paying jobs, and aren’t hurting for cash each month, and I’m working on paying off student loans before they enter repayment. Then aside from regular household bills, we don’t pay rent or a mortgage, and my DH only has a few months left on his car payments.
So over the past year, I have mentioned off and on starting a family. Not every day, but I’d say every couple of months or so, and each time my DH pretends like he can’t hear me, and changes the subject.
I recently went off of my birth control pills because my insurance stopped covering the brand that works best for me (I have tried several different kinds), and I don’t feel like shelling out $120 bucks each month. I did inform DH of this, and while he wasn’t thrilled, we still have been sexually active, and he has been pulling out, even though I have told him this is not 100% effective.
Now I was supposed to get my period a couple of days ago, and still haven’t, but that isn’t all that unusual for me (I’m regular, as in around the same time each month, but what day I start varies), but have been very nauseous and sensitive the past week or so. Tonight I told my DH that there was a possibilty I may be pregnant, and he was none too happy to hear that.
I want to have at least one kid, probably two, and would like to be done having children by age 27, so by the time they graduate high school I can still do things. My parents were much older when they had my sister and I, and I would like them to know their grandkids. I have explained all of this to my DH, and he just keeps insisting that he isn’t ready, isn’t ready…
I am at a loss as to what to do. I love my DH to death, but I am not going to wait forever to start a family. Do I make this clear to him (I haven’t directly said this), or just wait around until he is ready, which he says he will be by age 30. If it were to turn out that I am pregnant, would he be excited by the time of birth? Does anyone else have any experiences like this? What happened, and how did you handle it? It hurts that my DH can see how much I want a baby, and he is so not.
It also doesn’t help that a cousin who is the same age as me but unmarried recently announced she is expecting. I am excited for her, but can’t help to be a bit jealous that she is having a baby before me – not that it was a competition, but I was married first, so I just assumed I’d start the family first.