Post # 1
So, I’m pretty sure that I’m pregnant. My period’s late, I took two at home pregnancy tests that were both positive (though with super faint lines, though I hear that doesn’t matter). This is the absolute worst time this could have happened. Okay, there are much worse times this could have happened, but that’s how it feels atm, anyway.
I’m making an appointment with a doctor first thing Monday to make sure this is 100% accurate. Which therein lies this first problem: How do you know what doctor to pick? I have insurance through my dad, so there’s only so many providers. The one I’m looking at is my mom’s former gyno at the same facility that I went to throughout highschool and into college.
I had an abortion awhile back and when I wasn’t sure what to do or who to turn to, I called their office just to inquire if they knew where the nearest clinic was. Their response was to yell at me that they don’t do abortions and, when I tried to explain that I understood that – I just wanted to know where the nearest clinic was that did, they hung up on me mid-sentence. While I understand that it could have just been that individual receptionist, I was afraid to go back.
I didn’t go to a gyno since until earlier this year when there was a free program through the college I was attending and I went in for an annual. The doctor there wasn’t very peachy – she basically told me that my FI was probablly cheating on me and that I was way to fat to ever have babies.
So, now I’m kind of stuck. There’s so much information to process and I just don’t know. I’m afraid to go to a doctor, not only because they’re going to confirm that I really am pregnant, but because I am overweight (I haven’t weighed myself in awhile, but I’m thinking ~250 at 5’3). I already feel ashamed enough and really don’t want a doctor telling me how disgustingly large I am. And should I tell the doctor about the abortion I had? I don’t have a GP either, I guess I should get one of those, too. .__.
I’m just terrified as is and I have no idea what to do. It feels like I’ve been holding my breath all morning. I really didn’t think I would be getting pregnant this year.
Post # 3
I would just go anywhere, even Planned Parenthood, on Monday morning to get the test. If you are pregnant, then you can find another doctor (or that one if you like them) for whatever you decide to do. When I am looking for a new doctor I just go on my insurance company’s website and then find the list of doctors with the specialty I want and google all of them. I look at where they went to med school and how old they are, but it’s probably overkill. You can always switch doctors if you end up with one you don’t like, so you could just choose based on location and insurance coverage and go from there. Good luck!!
Post # 4
Oh also, I’m sure your general practitioner would do the pregnancy test and refer you to an OBGYN if necessary. Do you have just a regular doctor you go to?
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’d just go to Planned Parenthood to get confirmation. No OB will want to see you until at elast 8 weeks, but usually not until 10 or even 12.
That gives you time to research the OBs in your area and network.
We chose ours through the very unscientific method of choosing the hospital we want to deliver at and then looking at OBs that deliver there and choosing one close to us and with the elast creepiest photo on his/her bio. If you don’t like the first one you visit, switch.
If a doctor gives you crap about your weight, find a different one. They should acknowledge your weight and that it will be a source of some concern, but you should feel comfortable with them as they discuss this. They shouldn’t be judgmental and mean about it, but rather honest and supportive.
ETA: they will ask you, either directly in person or on paperwork–probably both, about previous pregnancies. Be honest; tell them you have had an abortion. You are not the first, nor will you be the last. If the OB is judgmental about it (which would seriously shock me… this is a person whose job is to deliver care to women), find another OB.
Post # 6
You know, that’s a good point. All I really need atm is to find out whether or not I really am pregnant. Thanks!
@RunnerBride13: I don’t have a regular doctor. I guess I should look into getting one.
@mrsSonthebeach: haha. Least creepiest picture may not be completely scientific, but I’m sure there’s a correlation in there somewhere. 😛 Thanks for the advice. You are right, if I am pregnant, then I can’t be very pregnant – so I still have time to look around at different providers. Thanks for the advice regarding the weight/abortion issue. I just don’t know what to expect, really, I guess.
Post # 7
I just wanted to touch on the oveweight part! I was really afraid my weight would be an issue with my doctor (I was 222 at 5’2″) when I got pregnant. Basically all he said was that they don’t want me to gain more than 15 pounds total during the pregnancy. At first I gasped at that low amount, but here I am almost 7 months in and I’ve only gained 10 pounds. My metabolism COMPLETELY changed from almost the minute I got pregnant. I may go over their “recommended” gain, but I feel confident that it’ll be okay. That’s not to say that I’m gorging myself on bad food and playing the “eating for two card,” but I’ve relaxed a lot about my weight since the beginning.
Post # 8
@DrTeeth: I just found out I am pregnant and I am 5’2″ and 240. My doc also said I should not gain more than 15, so far the morning sickness has helped with that. I never wanted to be pregnant at this size, and I understand the fear, but I would not trade this for anything in the world.
Post # 9
As a PP said, the first thing is to confirm whether or not you are pregnant. Then you can decide whether you want to continue the pregnancy or not.
If your decision is to continue the pregnancy, perhaps try to find a size-friendly health care provider, both GP and Ob/Midwife. While weight does play a role in some decision-making during pregnancy and also increases the overall risk of some potential complications, most of the time things go well and these are just small risks. The major issues to consider are dating ultrasound, gestational diabetes testing, third trimester ultrasound(s) for growth and presentation.
No woman (or man for that matter) should have to tolerate a health care provider that is shaming or judgemental. You deserve care that is respectful and judgement free and don’t settle for less.
p.s. one thing you can do now, if you’re pregnant, is to start a higher-than-typical dose of folic acid, at least 1000 mcg (1 mg).
Post # 10
You can look for reviews of doctors on yelp and dr. oogle. The good news is that you have several months, so if you go to a doctor and they are mean or insensitive or anything else, you can find a new one.
Post # 11
@jesstagirl: @mojoh: From what I’m reading, that’s what I’m finding regarding the weight gain. Thank you guys so much 🙂 I really always thought I would lose the weight before getting pregnant. And have a house. And win the lottery. But I guess things happen when they happen 😛
@cdncinnamongirl: Thanks for the advice! I’m going to google about the folic acid – thanks!
@kerensa: That’s true! And thank goodness for that 😀
Post # 12
@DrTeeth: I also wanted to tell you that not all things people say you’ll get because you’re overweight are true. For example, I just had my glucose test (to check for gestational diabetes) and I passed it just fine. Yes, I’m sure being overweight does increase your chances of acquiring it (from what I researched), but that doesn’t mean you will—even skinny girls get it! Just wanted to throw that out there!
Post # 13
Just wanting to send massive amounts of love your way. You’ve received excellent support and advice so far, so this is what i feel i should do –