Needing help with a dodgy friendship… Long

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is this friendship worth it?
    Yes, you should go to the party and try and patch it up : (3 votes)
    14 %
    No, you're better off without their so called 'friendship' : (19 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 3
    7179 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think you should go, since even after everything has happened, you aren’t ready to move on (since you are asking the question).  I had to end a 20+ year friendship and it wasn’t until I went to one last thing (with good intentions) and was treated so coldly that it sealed the deal for me.  It was an awful experience, but one I would have wondered about, had I not gone.


    ETA:  Even if you rekindle your friendship with the bride, go into it knowing she has MAJOR issues with communication!  She let all those things foster vs. just talking to you about it!  It could have been handled so easily, but she let it all fester.  I guess the good thing is she eventually “talked” to you about it!


    Post # 5
    7179 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @EmmLou:  You aren’t being too harsh at all!  But, again, if you are questioning it a little, I think you should go and see how it plays out (kind of like a final verdict) – meaning, if she gives you the cold shoulder, there’s your answer.

    Post # 6
    2113 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @EmmLou:  I think you should go BUT that doesn’t mean any of this is your fault.

    You have been wonderful through the whole process and kept your cool. They seem very rude and inconsiderate. If you want to maintain a friendship then please go! Try to put it behind you and be the bigger person (like you have been this whole time). But if you are at the point where you don’t really care – then don’t go. They don’t sound like your Besties that is for sure. Friends? ok. But not best friends.

    I would start distancing myself a little.

    Post # 8
    1662 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @EmmLou:  Yikes. It sounds like they don’t feel as close to you any more and are trying to create drama so that they have an excuse to let the friendship go. It doesn’t sound equal, you’re reaching out more than they are.

    I’d quietly let go of them and pick up some new hobbies instead. You can meet new and better friends, I promise they’re out there. Hugs.

    Post # 9
    5808 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @EmmLou:  Do you still want to be friends with her? SHe obviously was getting the wrong info from MOH. I wouldnt be surprise if this is almost all MOH fault. I have a feeling once MOH is out the picture things will get much better. So I would go, not to patch things up, but to keep an iron in the fire so when MOH and her nasty influence is gone, there is a chance for a friendship. 

    (I wouldnt be surprised if MOH was telling Bride that she did all the work for the shower. That’s why she never said thank you.)

    But if you are done, then you are done. Walk away. Dont need a reason.

    Post # 10
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @EmmLou:  Honestly,i wouldnt go. It sounds like MOH is s sh!t stirrer and the bride….wellllll she’s just plain rude. 

    You get yourself out there and meet new friends,there are MANY that would love and appreciate a friend like you.Unfortunately it wont be them miserable nasties!

    Post # 11
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @EmmLou:  What a drama queen! You’re right, its all so high school!

    I vote you go to the party, wish her the best and send her on her way.. for good! End it on good terms but don’t worry about putting in too much effort to persue the friendship further once she moves away and same with the Bride.

    Relationships (including friendships) need to be both give and take and shouldn’t be such hard work. Its ok to not hang on to friendships forever if they’re getting you down.

    Post # 12
    2079 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @EmmLou:  MOVE ON!!!!!!!!! High school, indeed. 

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