- 3 years ago
Ok, this is a verrry long vent so I don’t blame you if you skip it but I would appreciate some outside opinions 🙂
I’m feeling really unappreciated by my two supposed best friends.. I’ve been friends with these ladies since high school, they have always been closer with each other than me but that has never really bothered me. Recently one of them got married and the other was asked to be her MOH, she then had 3 other friends as BM, I wasn’t one of them.. I will admit that this bothered me a little to begin with but I just accepted it and decided that I would just be a good friend and help the bride out as much as I could in the lead up to her wedding.
When it came to Brides bridal shower and hens night MOH, who isn’t very girly or crafty, and Bride asked me for my help, to which I said yes. I didn’t realise that I would end up organising the entire thing, no help from MOH or the other BM. The bridal shower was at MOH house but I organised and made the invitations, the decorations, the games and the food. The bride was very specific about the style and colour scheme she wanted and I was happy to oblige because I wanted her to have a fantastic day. Organising everything took a fair bit of time and money on my behalf and all MOH could say to me was “I’m glad you’re here to help organise, I’ve just got so much on my mind with uni and applying for jobs, you’re lucky you’ve got so much free time.” That was the first time my feelings were hurt because MOH seemed to be under the impression that I just sat at home all the time when in reality I was at university finishing my degree, I was doing a patisserie course and I was working about 20-25hrs a week whereas she was only doing two days of uni a week, nothing else. I made time for Bride and her bridal shower when MOH didn’t. But anyway, I let that one slide. On the day of the bridal shower and hens night everyone had a great time which I’m really glad for but what upset me was that I never got a thank you from the Bride or the MOH for my help, Bride’s mum did thank me though so I was grateful for that.
For the wedding Bride had asked me to be an usher which I agreed to do, I arrived 2 hours early and helped to set up and decorate for the wedding, I then stood at the doors for an hour and directed her guests, I also had to remind her mother about the programs that she’d forgotten were in her car until about 10 minutes before the ceremony. Again, I did all of this out of friendship for the Bride but she never thanked me.
After the wedding I didn’t see terribly much of Bride or MOH, I thought they both must have been busy, Bride with starting her new life and MOH with finishing her uni studies, though I did find out through facebook that there were a number of times that they caught up and looked over the wedding photos or celebrated Christmas etc, with some other friends too and I was never invited. Then in early January they asked if they could come over around lunch time and we could exchange Christmas presents to which I said yes. They came over at 12 and had left by 1 because bride had to start work at 3.. She must’ve needed 2 hours to get ready. The entire time they were at my house they appeared as though they didn’t want to be, they didn’t say thank you for the lunch I provided and when it came time for them to leave Bride looked especially pissed off and pretty much stormed out the door and I have no idea why.
I ran into bride about two weeks later in the shopping centre when we passed each other on the escalators, I saw her and cheerily greeted her with a “HI! How’re you going?” and in return I got a sour faced ‘hi.’ To me, this was really strange, what was even stranger was the text she sent me not half an hour later saying “Just wondering what’s up with you? You’re acting really strange.” Well that just left me bewildered so I asked her to elaborate, bad idea, she launched into this rant about how I
- had made a nasty comment to MOH about how bride wasn’t paying for anything in the wedding
- shouldn’t have worn the dress I wore to her wedding because it was too close to her colours and I knew better, the dress I wore was coral and her colours were peach and white
- that she had asked me to stay at her place the night before the wedding as it would mean a lot to her to have me there and I hadn’t given her an answer, I’d told MOH
My response to this was
- MOH had complained to me about having to spend about $500 for the wedding and I had responded with a, “for my wedding I will be paying for the majority as I wouldn’t want to put people out,” the comment had nothing to do with Bride and related purely to MY future wedding
- I’d actually sent her a picture of the dress prior to the wedding asking if it were ok for me to wear it because of the colour and she had said “yeah, of course that’s ok,” I’d asked so that she had the opportunity to say no, I told her I wouldn’t care and I’d just find something else
- She had mentioned me staying about 8 months before the wedding and not once since then, I thought she had forgotten and didn’t want to bring it up because it would’ve been strange me asking to stay when I wasn’t part of the bridal party, this had come up in conversation with MOH
After my explanation I apologised to her, told her that it was never my intention to upset her and actually put in a lot of effort to help with her bridal shower and wedding because I wanted her to have a fantastic time. She never responded to my apology and now hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks.
What bothers me most about this situation is that I was never thanked for my efforts, instead she’s now pissed off at me and clearly MOH has been twisting my words. It feels like I’m back in high school with all this drama!! Now MOH is moving and having a farewell party to which I am invited, so here’s my question, should I go to the farewell party and try and patch up this friendship? Or should I just let that friendship with Bride and MOH go and move on with my life?