- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Hi Girls…this may turn into a rant, and a big vent..but i need HELP!! Soo one of our bridesmaids is my fiances friend from college (she’s married with a baby) We’ve been engaged for a year now, and our wedding is next october. I’m a bit pro-active in more ways than one so a lot is done already including our bridal party.We asked her almost a year ago. There hasn’t been much involvement on her part at all, haven’t seen eachother in months, and its been problems. We are at a point of not knowing what to do. In my heart I know I want her our, coincidentally she texted my fiance last night bc she “misses us” and wants to do dinner. Its hard for me to put stuff behind me. I want her out, fiance says he does too. Although I know I am in his best interest, I dont know what he wants)! Helpppp. What complicates things is that her husband is a groomsman, and him and my fiance get along welll. I set up a date to go with all of the girls to pick out the dresses, and the morning of I text her to give her directions, and she gave me an excuse as to why she couldn’t come. I set something up for two weeks later with my future sister in law who couldnt make it (but had valid reasons and told me ahead of time) And on the second attempt she asked if she could just send me her measurements bc she did not want to “ruin my weekend for 10 mins”. I had it all set up, and we were going for lunch and it wasn’t ruining anything. Everyone who has been married knows its an exciting time. I agreed for her to send me the measurements and waited for the $ for the deposit for well over a month and finally she left it in my mail box. Last time I’ve seen her is May. She has talked about me on a few occasions, and to my fiance. She never shows much interest in anything. I understand she is a friend of his for years, but she’s been a fair weather friend. She comes and goes and always on her terms. I sent her an email a little time ago, (nicely) and explained that if she felt like being in the bridal party for her and her husband was too much, or overwhelming bc of the baby that we totally understood. She flipped and said who am i to say having a baby was too much, blah blah and all this stuff.
Fiance and I fight constantly over her! I just dont feel like its worth the fights. I have been through alot (lost my mom) planning a wedding without her has been VERY hard and would love for my bridal party to be people who love us, support us and want to be involved.
In my heart I want her out, but dont know what to do. The angel on my shoulder is saying to go to dinner and see if things change. And the devil is saying well if she’s changing its not bc she wants to, its bc she has to.