Needy, overly emotional FMIL…what to do?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

artdeco:  Ohhh man!!! PLEASE take it from me set boundaries NOW before getting pregnant! My MIL is a super needy person and emotional person. If something bothers her you can read it all over her face and if I ask whats wrong “oh nothing” or she goes on to tell me what’s wrong but that she “doesn’t care it’s whatever” and since I’ve been pregnant it got worst. Until just two weeks ago we laid down the law and because we let it go on for so long she had an issue with it. Thankfully it all worked it’s self out and she has backed off quite a bit but a wedding is a once in a lifetime event imagine how she’ll be with her future grandchild!!!! Watch out! lol

 

Post # 4
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

artdeco:  Oh lordddd! Do we have the same MIL?! lol One thing I will tell you about the whole shopping thing, my MIL is the exact same way and I came to the realization that I can’t tell her what to do with her money however what I do is tell her it’s cute and that we barely have room at home and she should keep it at her house for when he visits (which trust me it won’t be as often as she thinks) If I could I would tell her that she can buy him the world and that does not guarantee that they will have a strong relationship BUTTTT since that would just cause me stress I stick to the aww keep it at your place grandmom lol 

Post # 5
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Make sure that you have great communication between you and your FI about this and that you are on the same page. Create some sort of signal and every time she is reaching that point, he can cut her off. It will be much more effective and less hurtful coming from her son rather than you. Is she the kind of preason to ask the same question over and over if she doesn’t get an answer that she likes? Make sure you stay strong and continue to answer truthfully. Don’t let this tacit bully you into changing answers. 

Post # 6
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

Some mother, Most if not All find it hard to let their baby boys go.. If they are lonely they often seem or infact are needy and emotional. I understand why my mother inlaw is as i have lived with them since her husband left 5yrs ago. I know how to let her mother me at times and how to put her in her place at others.. we have learnt how to live together and she is now one of my best friends. Even normal friends can be needy, irritating, clingy etc.. your MIL is only human (older and more lonely).. I have found with my MIL buying her sons and eventually grandchildren things or giving them money is a sense of pride that they can provide for them even if its not always necessary! (MIL was the sole earner for the last 27yrs) Firm and consistent (with care) and it may work. She gets upset as all females do but we get over it if we want to..

Just my experience

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