(Closed) Negative Family Relationships

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would just let your close family know that they should talk to anyone they are particularly close to about it, if you feel like the information should be shared w/in the family.  You shouldn’t have to broadcast your troubles, but keep it as low profile as possible.  Good luck!  I nearly flipped out about family stuff and decided to invite the person I didn’t care for, but thankfully the feeling is mutual and they declined the invitation.  I can’t completely relate, but maybe somewhat.

Post # 4
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. 🙁 Things like this are no one else’s business, IMO, but family members always want to tell you what to do. 

We had the exact same thing with my brother – not just because of our negative relationship growing up, but because he’s a thief and I didn’t want to chance it with our guests. My family kept pushing, but I stood firm. It made some people upset, but it wasn’t their choice, and I calmly told them as much. 

Turns out, he’s in prison again, so it doesn’t matter anymore. I had an easy out, which was good. But IMO, you should just not tell your family members (I only said something when mine asked, then later regretted it) and just try to avoid the conversation altogether. Easier said than done, I know. 

I wish you luck with this, I know how stressful it can be. 

Post # 6
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.  I have some sticky family situations myself and I know how much it sucks!  Honestly, you need to do whatever you need to do for YOU.  You don’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want to.  Surely your family would have caught on by now if you haven’t had contact with him in 8+ years.

 

GL and (((hugs))).

Post # 7
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I totally understand. They know we talk sometimes, but certain people in the family (especially my gma) still have a sympathetic streak for him and just don’t get why I wouldn’t want him there, or in my everyday life. I think it’s something we’ll have to deal with the rest of our lives and people just aren’t going to get it. 🙁 Best of luck to you, whatever you decide. I know it’s not easy. 

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you cant stop people from having their opinions and being total PITA’s in voicing it but i can only suggest that on the day, you will be very busy and focused on your wedding/groom that hopefully anything said/thought will not come near you – if they do, just walk away because you do not have to explain yourself to them

goodluck and heres for a happy day

Post # 9
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i can soooooooooooo relate but if your extended family knows your brother at all it sounds like they would know his behavior and probably could figure out why he isnt invited. I think if you say anything to them before they ask you it will just bring unnecessary attention to the situation. im so sorry you have this to deal with 🙁

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