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You call them Negative Nancies, I call them "realists" lol. But i agree they're quite the party pooper sometimes =]
Totally, I hate these people! It makes me think of humper from Bambi "if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all" I have no Idea why they feel the need ot interject their negativity... I really just try to avoid convos. Unfortunately one of the Downer Debbies in my life is my mother so I can only ignore her for so long...
@Miss_Pura Vida: lolol @ "humper" instead of "Thumper" ^_^
yeah, i try not to talk about wedding stuff at work just in case (says the girl lurking WB). keep doing all the little details though! anything i'm putting together is because i think it looks cool, i'm not doing it on the guests' behalf. :P if they don't notice the details, i won't boo hoo over it.
One of my DH's bff's is so negative all the time! Everything you say he has something bad to say! Like you can can say ohh I got a promotion at work today.. his response.... ohhh well that would never happen to me blah blah blah, and he goes on and on about how he doesn't have a gf.... well if you only sit in your house, and then when you do go out in public and you flip out on people no wonder why you don't have a gf!
We just laugh now and when he starts to act like that we both just start joking about how the world is out to get him and so on, he eventually catches on and snaps out of it!
I generally jut try to avoid really negative people, I understand the difference between being a realist and just plain negative all the time! I generally a happy person, so when people around me constantly are saying negative things all the time it bothers me. Esp. when people just nit pick about things! I have one friend who I love dearly but she will seriously in the middle of a dinner out with friends, say "omg stop! the part on your hair is messed up and you should really go fix it" I'm always like wtf! Really one tiny peice of hair moved to the other side of my part, I don't care! I would rather enjoy my dinner then rush to the bathroom to fix something that will probably happen again in 2 minutes!
I have worked with a lady like this for the past nine years and have decided that some people just like to complain. I usually come back at Negative Nancy's comments with a positive and it typically shuts her up. I think my sunny disposition is slightly rubbing off on her too.
@waffle: That is exactly what I do with a women at my work. She'll always pop her head in my office, probably with negative retorts all set in her head, and I just respond with a positive. I think she is slowly learning and doesn't pop in so much anymore!
People will take notice, and even if they don't who cares? Your wedding is going to be beautiful and you will remember! :)
As for the debbie downer's and neg nancy's, ignore them! :)
I had a BM like this, haha! I love her, but she's so darned negative all the time. And also a know-it-all on top of that. She definitely took some getting used to, but I've learned how to be that necessary ray of sunshine in her life!
I have a close relative like this. I showed her my engagement pictures, and she didn't say a single nice thing about them, but she did point out that I looked drunk in one of the pictures (I have small eyes and they tend to close when I smile).
I think avoidance is key, lol, along with setting your expectations lower for that person. Some people will never, ever be happy in life, and they'll never be able to be happy for those around them.
My FMIL is the biggest Debbie Downer I've ever met. I also work with a ton of really negative people. The bad thing about negativity is that it is SO contagious. I typically try to ignore the negativity as much a I can, or try to put a positive spin on things. I figure eventually these people will get annoyed with my positivity and leave me alone ;)
I just roll my eyes and keep it moving. At some point, you figure out to talk to those kinds of people very sparingly...and only about certain things.
When I come across these people, I just feel grateful that my outlook on life is so much more positive, and as a result, I'm probably a little happier overall. :)
@bRooklynRocks: Yeah :P. He's lifting me and my relative said that it just looks like I passed out drunk and he had to carry me home. She also said that the pose would have only worked with my "photogenic" other relative, who happens to be a size 0. I'm so not looking forward to the holidays.
Thankfully I've yet to encounted a "Negative Nancy" regarding wedding plans but I've got plenty in real life. For the most part, everyone has been supportive which is REALLY surprising since all of the women in my family are pretty much the definition of opinionated.
Actually, I wanted to comment on this because I noticed your username. I'm from Saratoga!! It's awesome to see local bee's since there are hardly any.
ETA: I just realized that I commented on your track season thread so I guess this wasn't the first time I encountered your username. Anyways, woohoo Upstate!
I'm more of a pessimist and sometimes catching myself saying things that only "negative nancies" would say :( I don't mean it! I swear!
@upstatebroad - ok, so some of your guests won't notice. Maybe even none of them will... but when you see your photos 10, 15, 20 years from now and you have a shot of those details you worked so hard on, or the details that made you excited on your wedding day, who cares if they noticed? Don't let them get to you.
I had people say to me "why are you so obsessed with finding shoes, no one will see them anyway!" ... to which I respond "for pictures like this:"
@KaitlinHudson I was reading all these posts and debating wether or not I should post that sometimes I AM the negative nancy..I dont know why i do it...and its not on purpose but sometimes (and very often) it does!!! I feel its good that i have acknowledged it and am working hard on NOT saying the stuff....
Ha Ha, years ago I worked with a "negative nancy"-she always took a lunch break after mine. I would never remember to bring an umbrella-but never needed it, but as soon as I returned from lunch and she headed out the door if there was any chance of rain that day, it would start right then! hee hee
@UpstateCait: Glad to meet a fellow upstater!
@7SEVENJ9: That is exactly why I sweat all the little details to make them perfect! That is one gorgeous shoe pic!
one of my BM's is a negative nancy, I never know how to respond. I have very very very curly hair, she asked me how I'm doing my hair for the wedding. I said I'm going to straighten my hair and leave it down. She replies, Oh you CAN'T do that. You can't. I won't let you. You have to get your hair done on your wedding day. HAVE to. I am have a VERY untraditional wedding and I hate hearing what I HAVE to do. People who have straight hair curl it for their wedding. Why can't ppl with curly hair straighten it for their wedding??? i'm also doing feather bouquets and candle centerpieces. But apparently I HAVE to have flowers. HAVE TO!! A wedding isn't complete without flowers. It's getting on my nerves, but because she is a bridesmaid I have to include her on the planning and hear about how I'm doing everything wrong and I should be having the same kind of wedding that she had. I can't wait to drop the bomb that we aren't having a wedding cake!
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We have all met them. They lurk in our office, could be a relative or close friend, or even an acquaintance. They're those negative soles who will take any good news and make it seem like no big deal. They put you down for the sake of bringing you to their level. Examples:
"I spent a Sunday night making cute hangers for my girls dresses!"
Negative Nancy: "Oh, they will probably just put them in the back of their closet."
"I'm thinking about bringing in extra christmas cookies to work."
Negative Nancy: "Well if they have nuts don't bother because no one will eat them."
"It took me forever to match the girls purple dresses to the purple vests the guys will be wearing."
Negative Nancy: "Don't worry, no one will even notice the colors, as long as you have open bar that's all anyone cares about at a wedding, not the details."
Yes, these are all real conversations, and there are plenty more. I have met these types of people my entire life, but more so it seems in the wedding planning process. I try to let it roll of my shoulders, and most of the time I do, but there are some words and conversations that just stick to you. They make you feel like the effort you are putting into your wedding will be unappreciated in the end.
I have identified these people and have since stopped addressing any wedding issues with them. If you like an idea, concept, or project for you wedding DO IT! Forget about the Negative Nancy's whispering in your ear telling you it's pointless, no one will notice, etc. Normally, these are the things that people take notice to. And although, maybe everyone won't appreciate the days you put into making paper products match, or the cute barber straws on the bar, at least one person will, and that makes all the difference.
Has anyone experienced Negative Nancys in wedding projects or life in general? And how do you deal with them?