Post # 1
Me and FI got engaged late this June and it has been so exciting, I got a lot of planning done, just had our fabulous engagement dinner… and now we are needing to lock in our venue contract to secure the current prices and discounts they are offering us.
FI is going back to school in Sept, so he doesnt want to hear about wedding planning and won’t be able to contribute (totally understandable) so I told him “I got it” and he can pay for our house down payment. (it will all become OUR money anyway)
So I agreed to a 2 year engagement (June 2016) wedding date and now everyone’s excitement has totally deflated, including my own. I secretly really want next summer, but don’t want to pressure him. Now I just feel meh about the whole wedding.
Anyone else gone through this?? I know it’s common…
Post # 2
westcoast_girl: I felt the same way. I was engaged in December 2010 when I was just finishing 1st semester of school. I knew I wasnt graduating until April 2013 and so it didnt feel “real” to me as we weren’t getting married until September 2014. It wasn’t until I finished school, started working and started planning everything again that it began to feel like it was really going to happen. Long engagements have their advantages and disadvantages. Just try to enjoy being engaged, know your gonna marry the love of your life and take your time picking out decor, dress, colours etc. I would definitely book a venue if they are giving you discounts! Don’t worry you aren’t the only one whoses felt this way before!
Post # 3
Aww 🙁 We had a 3 year engagement but I didn’t start planning anything until a year and a half before. Did you mention next summer to FI at all? I promise the time will fly much fast than you think. That’s less than two years away. This gives you lots of time for DIY projects, find deals, shop pressure free! Waves of super excitement and meh-ness will happen back and forth over the next two years. Happy Planning and CONGRATS 🙂
Post # 4
There are benefits to a longer engagement. Lock in the 2014 pricing and rest on your laurels! FI and I needed jobs and housing and school (mostly me) to fall into place first, so our engagement will be 19 months. It’s already more than half over and honestly it flew, but I’m glad we had time to enjoy each other and this phase of our relationship rather than having a nonstop planning marathon.
Post # 5
Take your time and enjoy it! I’m having a 16 month engagement and at the time I thought that was a long time…now time is flying, and I sometimes secretely wish we put it off a bit longer!
Post # 6
- Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
I’m having a two year engagement too. I’m actually enjoying it a lot. I feel that it gives us a little more time to save money a do something really nice. Is going to be a destination wedding So I’m actually gathering up my ideas and starting the planning. Time is actually flying for me. You can always start thinking about the colors, wedding cake, and decorations. Is a good way to entertain your self.
Post # 7
Two years is on the longer side of an engagement but it is going to go by quickly! Honestly you can probably start really planning/booking things in 4 months or so. You can start dress shopping, can start looking at venues, book early with vendors. This also gives you lots of time to really think about what you want.
We originally were going to have about a 1.5 year engagement but we changed our date because all the venues we wanted were booked for when we wanted! We ended up moving it about six months earlier to book at the venue we wanted.
I really think it will go by much quicker than you expect and you will be afforded the ability to book the venues and vendors you actually want, rather than just what is available. And congratulations!
Post # 8
Ours was almost 2 years. We booked mostly everything way in advance so we got our first choice on everything, locked in prices and had time to pay things off. It will come before you know it!
Post # 9
i have a 2 year engagement (getting married in aug’14) and it has been wonderful. i didn’t have to decide anything or do any planning around the holidays… i’ve been booking vendors and 2014 prices instead of 2015. i think it’s great.
if we had set the date to this summer, i can guarentee i would be getting married completely different than i wanted to (in NY vs. CO) because that was our plan from Sept-Jan. When i realized i was super unhappy planning, i was like nope, doing it in colorado. had we not had the time/freedom to do that… we would be getting married in NY! Phew!
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
10 days shy of a 3 year engagement here, and closing in on the last 2 months. TRUST me, people say it, and you won’t believe it (I didn’t) but it FLIES. Take some time, enjoy being engaged, plan slowly and avoid the stress!
Post # 11
For me the excitement of being engaged has been enough to ward off my disappointment that the wedding is still a while away – like you we’re planning on spring/summer 2016 for our wedding. But I also feel like the extra time can be beneficial for planning purposes, you can really take your time making decisions and avoid a lot of the last minute stress by preparing early. I always knew I’d want at least a year to plan the wedding and I’m kind of loving that I’ll also have a “stress-free” year to enjoy being engaged before any wedding planning is necessay!
Post # 12
I just got engaged on Tues. I also start my first semester in college on the 25th. For finantial reasons (for my FAFSA and student loans) it makes more sense for me to stay single through school or else we would have to pay for my college out of pocket… So we are looking at at least a 3 year wait. Just enjoy it i guess… I am stuggling with it too. I am really hoping it isnt old news to our friends and family by the time we actually get around to a wedding…..
Post # 13
I was planning on having a 3 year engagement, but moved it up a year. It will be 2 years and 3 months total. I had a lot of time to plan. I also had more time for issues to arise and time for changes to occur, as life does not stop while we plan. Guests have broken up since we got enaged for example. Guests have been a source for drama, especially within the last 6 months prior to the wedding. I have also had more time to deal with wedding related problems. I have also changed my mind about some things. I had plenty of time to DIY and purchase items within my budget. I also had more time to save and pay for things.
I do not regret having a longer engagement. It has allowed for me to stay closer to my budget. Either way, I will be married (in about 2 weeks). It is really about what is best for your situation. There have been bumps along the way. These bumps would have happened anyway. If I had not planned for a long engagement, I may have had to postpone the wedding or been pissed that I did not have the funds for those situations after the wedding. These were must pay scenarios (vehicles, school money, etc). Due to the extended time, these issues were handled without incident.
The time has flown by. For the first year, it was a surreal event that seemed far off. I did things one at a time, took my time and researched, and eventually made some decisions. In the second year, it was much more real. Before I knew it , more months had passed and it was closer and closer. Now there is barely time to do the last minute things that I need to take care of! I got the marriage license the other day and it is now SUPER real. I am ready for it to happen, and to get on with the best part after saying our vows, the honeymoon. You will be fine, and time will keep on moving. Congrats!
*Oh, about the “joy” in regards to the wedding. It shall return. Once the wedding is a year out, everyone will get excited again. Once you send out invitations, people will be very excited.
Post # 14
Similar situation. Our wedding date 05/13/2016 and we got engaged 06/28/2014 so it will be a 23 month engagment. His family has not even said anything about us being engaged expect the fact that it is so far away. It doesn’t help that his sister got Married 11montha after her proposal. She even had her dress bought before her proposal.
But I have school to finish (trying to apply to med school) and he is considering getting a law degree to go with his engineer degree and we want to pay for our wedding cash. So we are doing a two year engagment.
i figured that once it is closer everyone will get excited. Plus it gives me time to plan a proper detail orientated wedding.
Post # 15
I also have a two year engagement, but I looooove it! Here’s the deal: you get to enjoy the excitement of being engaged (but not yet married) for a lot longer than most. You also get your first pick of venues, flowers, dresses, etc.
Like many other posters, the reason for holding off was the fact that I am in med school and wanted to actually have some legit time off to enjoy the wedding and honeymoon. Some family members were less than thrilled, but you know what? People love to have opinions. So I think it’s best to do what is right for you, and be happy with the decision!
That being said, my “favorite” invitations changed quite a bit over time…