- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Let me start this with I love my sister-in-law, she is a sweet person and generally very caring and nice. She was very excited at the beginning of my engagement and supportive. However lately I’m geting a rather negative vibe. Nothing overt and outritgh negative, just a vibe.
A little background, my brother (her husband) offered to help me pay for some of the wedding. I initially declined but he insisted so I agreed and am very thankful for the help. Initially he offered $5000, which is more than generous, but I told him that I would only need about $3500, which is basically to cover the cost of the catering. This was discussed at Thanksgiving and I thought the matter was settled and wouldnt need to be further discussed until closer to the wedding.
I get a phone call from my SIL a few weeks later, just inquiring as to the size of my guest list. I told her and she got very quiet on the phone. I asssured her that the final headcount hadnt been decided yet, and thats when I started to feel that she was hesitating and not wanting to say anymore. She went on about making sure I got a ocntract and helpfully guided me towards some online articles regardig caterers, etc. I politely got off the phone with her and proceeded to call my brother. I wanted to understand why she was suddenly so concerned. Turns out that they are on the verge of buying a house, and SIL is not happy about my brothers offer to help. I would like to clarify that I was not aware that they were on the verge of home ownership when I accepted his offer. He has since told her that the offer stand and that he will work overtime if he has to.
I’m more inclined to believe that she is more upset with my brother than (I am still saving up money and may not need his help at all) with the actual idea of my wedding. She was very happy about the dress I picked out for my bridesmaids, and has been supportive about everything else and I love her for it. I’ve been trying to decide on how to handle how to address this with her tactfully and without hurting her feelings.
Any help would be appreciated.