Post # 1
Ok fellow bees,
I am having a very small, about 15 people total, outdoor ceremony in our state park at a waterfall. Due to they type of ceremony and location, there really is not a walking down the aisle type of thing and we are having no wedding party. However, I am including all our neices and nephews into the ceremony. The kids so wanted to be a part of it so I was thinking of simple ways to include them. My 19 yo neice is doing a reading of an irish blessing but my question/idea is that when the officiant asks for the rings, I wanted my FI niece who is 8 to bring me his ring and his 2 nephews that are 11 and 2 to bring him my ring. Some thought this was so cute and fun, but some have said the neice shouldnt hold the rings basically because ring bearers are male. All in all its my wedding and I am doing it that way, but what does anyone else think? Or does anyone have suggestions?
Post # 3
Do what works for you. I’m not sure of any traditions of bad luck associated with a girl touching the rings beforehand. And even if there were some, sounds like it wuoldn’t bother you.
Of course, I’m not very traditional about these things. I think the main thing you’ll have to contend with is people not being a little surprised, and possibly confused. but it’s 2009! In Indian tradition the groom rides in on a horse with his youngest male relative. Well fizicsGuy is the youngest male in his family, so he’s riding with his niece. My uncle 28 years ago wanted to ride with his 3 nieces (not a random distant male relative), so he got a horse drawn carriage instead of a traditional white horse, and that’s what we did. Interestingly it was my maternal grandmother (not his mother, my mom’s mom) who thought it was weird. But whatever…he’s still married so obviuosly breaking tradition didn’t doom their future together or anything.
My piont is that maybe people will say things, but if you’re fine with it, do it.
Post # 4
Do what you want! I think it’s cute to have a little girl as a ring bearer! Who said only boys can be ring bearers! If brides can have bridesmen and grooms can have grooms girls why can you have a female ring bearer?!
Post # 5
Go for it. Its a wonderful idea.
Post # 6
When my aunt got married in the early 90’s, I was a flower girl and my older sister was the ring bearer because there were no other children in our family. I think it is totally fine to have a girl be a ring bearer or a boy be a flower boy if the situation calls for it.
Post # 7
I was a ring bearer in a wedding when I was younger. I don’t see any problem with having a female ring bearer.
Post # 8
My twin sister and I were ring bearers in my aunt’s wedding back in 1986. Haha. We were called Princess Ring Bearers and we loved that! I was 7 at the time and I vaguely remember people saying that ring bearers were supposed to be boys, but we’d remind them that we were PRINCESS Ring Bearers. It’s all in the name.
Post # 9
we’re having my fiance’s 25-year-old best friend be our ringbearer. he’s giant, so part of it is just because it will be funny to see him holding a tiny pillow.
Post # 10
I say go for it! Break tradition. It’s more fun that way!
Seriously, I don’t think you are breaking any wedding rules by doing so. If it makes you happy to have her as the ring bearer then do it.
Post # 11
I think it sounds like such a sweet idea!
Post # 12
Do it, I think it’ll make her feel very included. Who cares if the ring bearer is traditionally male, it’s a pretty minor tradition anyway–I say do what makes you happy.
Post # 13
Boy it would be really nice if those people nay saying around you would hold their objections for something worthwhile…. Why not make it cute. Have the boys have the traditional pillow and have her carry a pomander or something with the ring tied to it. Really she could have a pillow too. But as a girl, she might enjoy if it was girlified.