Post # 1
Last night, our creepy neighbor came knocking. Our entry door was open, but the screen door was shut. We didn’t want to talk to him, so we ignored the knocks. Then he started calling our names. We really didn’t feel like talking to him because we were making a complicated dinner and he draws out conversations for 10+ minutes…. He was knocking and calling our names for about a minute, when we heard the yelling coming from INSIDE the house. He just walked into our house! DH went out and talked to him. He had come over for something super inconsequential, just like we suspected. Now we are trying to figure out how to tell our neighbor–if we don’t answer the door, please don’t come in.
We keep our door closed and locked 99% of the time, but sometimes it’s nice to have a breeze coming through the screen door, you know?
This guy just doesn’t “get” any social cues at all, even though he has a professional job where he works with people all day. I don’t think he’s malicious, but I really want to be clear with him that he is not welcome to just walk into our house.
This is the second time he’s come into our house uninvited. This spring, we were having a bonfire out back and he joined us. We put the fire out and very clearly said “We’re going to bed. Have a good night!” and walked inside. We were carrying in a few things, and he followed us right into our house, so now he’s seen the layout and knows where our bedroom is, etc.
He’s moving in a few months, so that’s good. But in the meantime… Should we confront him, or just let is slide? What should we say if we confront him? Is a text message ok or should we go talk to him in person?
Post # 3
can you lock the screen?
that’s super weird, that he just walked in.. i’d confront him, in person, and tell him not to enter your home or walk onto your property without being invited first.
Post # 4
absolutely confront him. you can’t let this slide.
Post # 5
Lock the screen door, definitely. Just ignore the dude for the remainder of his time living near you, or try your best! Good luck, OP.
Post # 6
Our screen doesn’t lock, unfortunately.
I do think that DH needs to go talk to him. Part of the problem is that our landlord owns a few houses right next to each other, and there’s no clear line between our yard and his. Plus our landlord told our neighbor how great we are and how we’ll all be best friends… and I think this guy took it to heart. Our landlord is a sweet little old lady and she meant well, but it kind of sucks.
Post # 7
I will probably just keep the main door closed and locked from now on. It’s just a weird situation to be in, really.
Post # 8
That is odd to say the least and he has gone beyond overstepping his bounds to invading you and your husband’s space and privacy. I dont think there really is a nice way to put it so at this point you must be DIRECT with him. At least, as long as he remains your neighbor. Just because you dont feel he is malicious in his actions doesnt mean he doesnt have bad intentions under the guise of appearing like a “nice guy”.
I dont think you, as a female, should confront him alone. You and your husband need to have a conversation with him AND follow it up with a formal letter. That way, if he does it again and you need to go to the authorities, you have proof that you told him his behavior is inexcusable. If you dont want to talk to him face to face a text message MAY suffice but he can always say he didnt get it.
As far as what to say? Be frank with him – tell him his actions are seriously overstepping you and your husband’s boundaries, he is invading your space and privacy and he is NOT, under ANY circumstances, allowed to walk into your house or even on your property without receiving permission FIRST.
Good luck cause Creepy McCreeperton would have received a serious tongue lashing from me the very first time it happened.
Post # 9
@Mrs. Boots: Can you install a lock yourselves? I can’t imagine a small latch would be too cost- or time-consuming.
Post # 10
You invited him to the bonfire, so you are friendly neighbors, right? Some people just don’t get it and grew up in an environment where things like this are OK. I don’t think it’s creepy, he’s just not getting the boundaries, he feels comfortable with you guys. He’s moving so I wouldn’t make a big deal of it.
Post # 11
If he’s moving I would probably just ignore it and keep the door locked. I would walk into my friends house if the screen was open (more so if they were expecting me though I guess…). But if he did it again I would confront him right in the moment. I doesn’t need to be a big deal or anything (just say that he really startled you and you would really appreciate if he just rang the door bell or knocked and if you don’t answer that probably means you’re busy).
Post # 12
@jny1179: We didn’t really invite him to the bonfire…. we were in our yard and he came over and joined us. A few other neighbors did too, and it was great. We do try to be friendly, and he just doesn’t seem to get boundaries. I think this is something DH needs to deal with, as I try to limit my contact with him as much as possible.
DH wasn’t exactly polite to him last night, but he also didn’t say “don’t come into our house uninvited”, which I feel neeeds to be said. DH and I will discuss tonight.
Thanks for the input!
Post # 13
@Mrs. Boots: If I were you, I would have done it as soon as it happened. I would have said, “We don’t appreciate people coming into our home uninvited. In the future, either wait for us to answer the door or come back later.” I would not stand for that…I would also start keeping my door locked.
Post # 14
Yeah, we should have said something right when it happened, but I think we were both so surprised that he just walked in that we didn’t know what to say. We tend to be “too polite” in a lot of situations, and it makes things like this tough. So now that it’s already been done, we’ll confront it. It will be awkward but probably for the best.
Post # 15
@bebero: +1! Soooo creepy!
Post # 16
Um yeah I would have said something right then and there. I do not tolerate shit like this. I also would have asked him to please leave the bonfire he wasn’t invited to. People are so rude!
My parents’ old neighbor once walked into their house uninvited – my mom was PISSED and laid down the law. What if you guys were doing the business or you had gotten out of the shower?
God, I hate people sometimes!