Neighbor's strange behavior… what would you do?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What would you do in this case?
    Don't say anything about either issue. : (50 votes)
    52 %
    Ask her to stop using our garbage can. : (34 votes)
    35 %
    Say something about her drinking to her daughter when she visits (this would be really hard to do) : (6 votes)
    6 %
    Say something to her about her drinking. : (0 votes)
    Other : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    I probably wouldn’t say anything until it became somewhat of an issue for me. For example, if there was risidual wine in those bottles and it was causing the inside of my garbage can to become sticky.  Also, I would probably begin to become irritated if she began doing it consistently.  And more than one bag would frustrate me.

    EDIT: I wouldn’t mention her drinking to anyone.  It’s not really your business, and you don’t want to come across as intrusive.


    Post # 4
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I wouldn’t say anything. About either. I’d want to help her get involved in the community so maybe I’d invite her to help with a dog rescue or something…try to help give her a purpose. Depends on how friendly she is

    Post # 5
    3588 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I don’t think it’s your place to say anything about the drinking, but you have every right in the world to tell her she can’t use your garbage can.

    Post # 6
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I wouldn’t say anything about the drinking. It’s her life and she has a daughter who should pick up on it and say something about it…not your place to bring it up.


    Her putting stuff in your garbage, if it really bothers you and is making your cans sticky then I’d ask her to please stop. Otherwise I’d let it go, it doesn’t seem like it’s hurting anyone, maybe she doesn’t have the money for garbage pickup and is too embarassed to say anything?




    Post # 7
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsLongcoatPeacoat:  If her using your garbage really bothers you, I would tell her to please quit. She pays for Will’s, not your’s. Yes, it sounds like she might have a problem, but I wouldn’t say anything about the drinking as it isn’t anyone’s business but her own, but the garbage is most certainly your business.

    Post # 9
    1018 posts
    Bumble bee


    Don’t worry about how much she drinks, it’s isn’t your business.

    But if she uses your trash cans to the point where you have to pay extra for garbage pick up (around here if you have “excess” you pay more) then I would say something. Or if you think YOU’LL get in trouble for not recycling or something. Otherwise I wouldn’t be bothered. Sure, it’s lame that she’s not paying for garbage pick up and you do…if it becomes consistent I’d ask that she pay half or something…

    Post # 10
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    Don’t mention the drinking. If her using your trash cans becomes problematic for you, then I would mention that.

    Post # 11
    2075 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If you are worried about her, I would suggest just being friendly and kind when you see her. Maybe engage in conversation when you see her puttering around outside. But, I definitely would not comment on her drinking. Since you don’t know her well, it really isn’t your place. I personally would let the garbage can thing slide, but if it bothers you, you are certainly within your rights to ask her to stop using it. I suspect she is splitting her bottles between the two cans, because she is ashamed of her drinking and doesn’t want Will to see all of the empty bottles. 

    Post # 12
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Honestly the thing that bothered me the most is she isn’t recycling!!

    Post # 14
    6668 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would not say anything about her drinking.  I would only mention the trash can if it becomes a problem for you.  Sounds like the poor lady has enough problems.


    Post # 15
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I wouldn’t intervene on her drinking, that’s not your business. But if she’s hogging up your garbage can space without asking I’d tell her to stop. 

    Post # 16
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t understand why you would speak to her about either issue.  You’re going to yell at a widow with a drinking problem around Thanksgiving?  Is it bothering you that much?  I would try to have more empathy.  

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