Nervious Breakdown? LDR so hard

posted 3 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

 

souza_2005:  My story’s not remotely similar, but it is in that FI and I are in a LDR. We were together for 4 years before getting engaged, now we’re studying in different cities (different and very specific programs). It will be over in one year, hopefully, and then we’ll have to figure out who moves where.. but that’s a thing of the future. 

But I hear you. Some days you REALLY feel the full weight of it, and it happens to be the day when you run into all the happy couples that can hold each other’s hand. But then a phonecall sometimes makes all the difference and you feel even luckier than any of them… 

So I don’t have advice… but just understanding. 

Hang in there 🙂 Some people just go through their lives without meeting the person who makes the wait worth it. 

Post # 3
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

souza_2005:  I’m so sorry to hear that you and your DH are going through such a tough time. My fiancee and I are in an LDR – have always been, actually (18mos together)! We met through work (both freelancers), and then came to realize we had mutual friends all along. FI is in the UK and I’m in the US; the eventual goal is for her to move here. I can’t in all honesty say that I know exactly how you feel – comparatively we’re pretty lucky; we might not see each other that much in person (last visit was November 2013…holding out for June!), but we know the other is comfortable, we have internet access, etc – but I do know a small bit of how difficult it is.

I totally agree, there’s nothing worse than having a difficult day and wanting to actually come home to each other at the end. For me the absolute worst is knowing that FI is sick/lonely/etc. and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

FI and I send video messages each day/night to say good morning/good night if we’re not able to video chat. If we can’t see each other properly due to work schedules, we send detailed emails so that the other knows what’s been going on. 

Are you a knitter/crocheter? If so, consider making your DH something he can wear. I made FI a vest, hat, and gloves, among other things, because being able to wear something that you’ve made is kind of like getting a hug. (We’re sappy, I know.)

I have no idea what net access is like out on the ocean (I am guessing it’s nil, but hoping it’s not!), so please disregard if this doesn’t apply. If possible, download a couple’s app like Couple or Avocado – they’re great. They let you send photos/drawings/messages within a private network. Play games! Something like Words with Friends your DH can do when he has a free moment.

We send a lot of letters and packages, too, often with little surprises – for my part, cheap little joke gifts from the dollar spot at Target. They’re not heavy to mail and FI has always gotten a laugh out of some of the more random things I’ve sent. 

I hope this helps in some small way. Hang in there and stay strong! 

Post # 4
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

MrsMusicBird111:  Congrats to you and your FI! We found that the decision of who was to move was not nearly as difficult as we’d anticipated, primarily because it was something we discussed from the outset. Good luck!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors