Post # 1
Dh and I are forced to have a LDR. i would quit my job and move there but we need my job. hes been there 1 year and a half. back and forth from home (once every couple months for a little bit) but its been since jan (chirstmas break) that hes come home. Its taking soooo much longer than they promised. Hes so frusterated with it because if they (the company) gave him more attention he could be done. he is living on his fishing boat. no bathroom or shower or tv. hes been a real trooper. but there are times hes on the verdge of having this nervious breakdown. he tells me so. that hes just ready to say f+++K it and leave. but we cant, we are in debt now and cant look back. we have to just keep going forward but its easier for me to say that. i have a shower and an oven to cook. And a fridge! they said he would be done by feb and we had to postpone our honeymoon since its taking so long. now im just hoping its before may… if we are really lucky.
For the long distance bees in a situation simular…tough LDR situations where when theyre gone its not a normal/easy life. When he comes back he has to go back to fish our commcial boat out on the ocean when all he wants is a vacation. I send care packages but what are some of things you tell or do for you DH that are in these tough situations. I just dont know what to do. i wish i could snap my fingers and help him. I dont think he will have a full blown nervious breakdown but i know how he feels. (and im sure he feels worse than i ). i feel like im gunna just freak out some times, i want my husband. instead im working a job i like, living in a trailer alone next door to his parents… its not a bad situation for me and i still feel like going nuts without him. i keep saying we can see the light at the end of the tunnel but every time we think we are there they tell us its a longer ways out. all we want to do is live a normal life. well as normal as fishermen get. I wish i could just live with him out there but he wont let me… Plus my job is really nice… financially. I just needed to vent. Some days hes doing great!! the days he feels like they are really moving along but yesterday was a bad day and i just want to be there to hold me and i cant. anyways thanks for listening. vent over lol.
Post # 2
souza_2005: My story’s not remotely similar, but it is in that FI and I are in a LDR. We were together for 4 years before getting engaged, now we’re studying in different cities (different and very specific programs). It will be over in one year, hopefully, and then we’ll have to figure out who moves where.. but that’s a thing of the future.
But I hear you. Some days you REALLY feel the full weight of it, and it happens to be the day when you run into all the happy couples that can hold each other’s hand. But then a phonecall sometimes makes all the difference and you feel even luckier than any of them…
So I don’t have advice… but just understanding.
Hang in there 🙂 Some people just go through their lives without meeting the person who makes the wait worth it.
Post # 3
souza_2005: I’m so sorry to hear that you and your DH are going through such a tough time. My fiancee and I are in an LDR – have always been, actually (18mos together)! We met through work (both freelancers), and then came to realize we had mutual friends all along. FI is in the UK and I’m in the US; the eventual goal is for her to move here. I can’t in all honesty say that I know exactly how you feel – comparatively we’re pretty lucky; we might not see each other that much in person (last visit was November 2013…holding out for June!), but we know the other is comfortable, we have internet access, etc – but I do know a small bit of how difficult it is.
I totally agree, there’s nothing worse than having a difficult day and wanting to actually come home to each other at the end. For me the absolute worst is knowing that FI is sick/lonely/etc. and there’s nothing I can do about it.
FI and I send video messages each day/night to say good morning/good night if we’re not able to video chat. If we can’t see each other properly due to work schedules, we send detailed emails so that the other knows what’s been going on.
Are you a knitter/crocheter? If so, consider making your DH something he can wear. I made FI a vest, hat, and gloves, among other things, because being able to wear something that you’ve made is kind of like getting a hug. (We’re sappy, I know.)
I have no idea what net access is like out on the ocean (I am guessing it’s nil, but hoping it’s not!), so please disregard if this doesn’t apply. If possible, download a couple’s app like Couple or Avocado – they’re great. They let you send photos/drawings/messages within a private network. Play games! Something like Words with Friends your DH can do when he has a free moment.
We send a lot of letters and packages, too, often with little surprises – for my part, cheap little joke gifts from the dollar spot at Target. They’re not heavy to mail and FI has always gotten a laugh out of some of the more random things I’ve sent.
I hope this helps in some small way. Hang in there and stay strong!
Post # 4
MrsMusicBird111: Congrats to you and your FI! We found that the decision of who was to move was not nearly as difficult as we’d anticipated, primarily because it was something we discussed from the outset. Good luck!
Post # 5
thanks ladies. i posted this a little while ago and got no bites.
yeah this week is hard too. i have been sending him packages with homemade stuff and he loves it! i resently got a kitten and ducks lol. to keep me busy. some times i feel like im starting to resent my job because it keeps me from him. now it looks like he will actually be home in a couple weeks. but we have been saying that forever!! haha. and tomorrow is our one year. ;-(…<br />I seen him in march for a week and then at the beginning of jan but not much for five months going by. ugg. its just so frusterating! i think for now hes doing good cuz he will have his boat in the water monday and his deckhand will get there wed. then if hes even ready he will be another 3 or 4 days on the water to get here. since hes been there hes been working 12 hour days.
so close but so far away.
thanks you guys. LDR isnt easy and niether is marriage so putting them together in a not so great situation sucks haha. but hopfully this is the hardest year lol crossing fingers. my nails are bite down to the core. not really but you know. every bit helps.