Post # 1
So I’m the Matron of Honor for my sister’s wedding and her and I are complete opposites. She’s not shy at all, loves the attention, has tons of friends, loves to go out dancing, has been in many wedding parties, etc. Me- I’m quiet, shy, reserved, a home-body, do not like to be the center of attention, have a few close friends, and have NEVER been in a wedding (let alone maid of honor).
Her 2 other bridesmaids have all been in each other’s weddings and have each giving each other BPs and showers. By the way, we all live in different parts of the US from the bride, so we have all been communicating through email to plan for the party and shower. I’ve never met them in person.
We plan on having like 15 girls and going out to a nice dinner, then going to dance at a club in a city afterwards, and I believe there will be a hotel room afterparty of some sorts. I don’t know anybody except I met one of the girls once and that’s it.
I’m so nervous I’m not going to fit in and look stupid since I don’t drink/dance. I know I’m probably overthinking this but this is REALLY out of my comfort zone to go out dancing and drinking with a group of girls I don’t know (especially girls that go out and party all the time). My sister knows this but she just wants me to be there and feels so grateful that I’m coming because she knows this isn’t “my thing”.
Any advice you can give this new MOH for the nerves that are starting to creep up? Thank you in advance.
Post # 3
Not that I am pressuring you to do so, but why don’t you drink/dance?
Regardless, I think you just need to go, and be yourself, and just have a good time. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. 15 people is a huge group, so you’ll probably be able to talk quietly with one or two people. When you all go to the club, get a glass of selzter or something with cranberry juice in it, in a glass that’s normally used to serve alcohol. Then no one will question you about why you aren’t drinking.
Post # 4
I know how you feel. I do occasionally drink, but I am not comfortable with the whole bar/club scene. Would it be possible for you to go to the first half of the bachelorette party, but not the club part? Or even meet up with them back at the hotel room?
If that’s not an option, then I agree with the PP. You can get cranberry with seltzer. I know how uncomfortable it is, but at least it is only one night. Try hard not to think about it too much. I find that when I overthink things, I tend to have a worse time.
Post # 5
Thank you for your advice. I will have a drink or two once in a while and I have danced in weddings/birthday events but I guess the club scene makes me nervous because its crowded and noisy. I guess that’s what it is, I don’t like crowds and just the stuffy club scene (not even when I was younger was I into it). It’s just a little nerves talking from somebody that’s shy and I know I never do this and definitely will be there for my sis (that’s really all that matters).
Post # 6
I missed that it was your sister’s wedding. I would ask if you could bring a friend along. Your sister knows that you are shy, and might not mind.
And a club sounds like the least fun thing in the world! I hate crowds where everyone is pushing and dancing and the music is so loud. Get me out of there!
Post # 7
OP: You’re right —the only thing that matters is being there for your sister (and she already knows this, and is probably very appreciative that you are doing this, if she understands how uncomfortable the club scene makes you). That being said, I think that if these girls are all the party type, you can easily take a spot in the background without anyone noticing that you’re not drinking your face off. In my experience, when you’re out with a bunch of drunk rowdies, they don’t realize that other people are sober. If you just relax and be yourself, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Just try to enjoy yourself, and remember that you don’t have to keep up with them all. If you ordered a pop in a highball glass, I doubt anyone would even question it.
Post # 8
If you look good you’ll feel good. If you’re able, splurge and buy yourself a cute new outfit. You’ll feel great about yourself and look cute sipping your mocktail from the sidelines.
Also, if you’re like me (a real people pleaser) you might find you actually enjoy yourself most being the guardian of the purses while everyone dances or making sure your sister has a steady flow of cocktails, request songs from the DJ, etc. Then you will stay busy and enjoy yourself a bit more then just sitting off to the side. The others girls will be super grateful they can depend on you in their “altered” state. 🙂